


The Fan

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-08-28
Updated: 1999-08-28
Packaged: 2018-11-10 16:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 56,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11130123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray Vecchio and Benton Fraser's friendship becomes the target of accusations.





	The Fan

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

The Fan

## The Fan

by Manna LaDroit

Author's webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~mannaladroit

* * *

*The Fan* 

by 

Manna LaDroit 

"I'm telling you, Benny, you have to be more careful with Dief around food." 

"I have been trying to do just that, Ray." 

"That was my last doughnut!" 

"I don't think that's the point, Ray. Diefenbaker shouldn't be eating -" 

"Vecchio!" 

The detective looked away from his irritating unofficial partner, who was himself glaring at his wolf, and stuck his head through the open office door. 

"Lieu?" 

"Get in here, and bring the Mountie with you." 

Ray stepped forward, not bothering to look back. Benny wasn't deaf. Ray privately suspected the wolf wasn't, either. Ray himself could certainly hear the *click click click* of those wolf toenails on the linoleum. 

Inside his office, Lt. Welsh had his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbows, his tie just slightly rumpled, and a look of extreme irritation in his eyes. Ray relaxed with the knowledge that the world was all just as it should be, then tensed again when Welsh's opening remark made it clear the lieutenant's irritation wasn't just a general state of mind. 

"Vecchio, do you know that I have a lot of good officers in this precinct who are just normal cops?" 

"I'm sure you do, sir." 

"I mean, they've all got their little quirks and eccentricities, and sometimes they even get into trouble. But on the whole, I'd have to say, they're regular men and women who are doing the best job they can." 

Ray nodded, looking lost. Fraser broke in: 

"Are you suggesting that you feel Detective Vecchio isn't doing his best, sir? If so, I can assure you -" 

Welsh held up a hand, and Fraser's words died off. As they traveled from Ray to Benny, the lieutenant's eyes went from reflecting irritation to reflecting great weariness and irritation. 

"I'll bring you into this in a moment, Constable. However...No, I do not feel that Detective Vecchio brings anything less than his best to the job." 

"Thank you, sir." Vecchio nodded again, his body waving slightly, betraying dread. 

Welsh leaned back, and his eyes glimmered with just a touch of amusement. Ray cautiously relaxed again, though only about half as much as he had before. 

"You got fan mail," Welsh said finally. 

"Fan mail." 

"Well, that's pleasant news, Ray," Fraser put in. 

Welsh shrugged. "I suppose it's inevitable, having the Caped Crusader and his faithful sidekick here at the station, that we're going to attract all manner of...interesting communications." 

Ray seemed abruptly to realize he was being played with. "I am to understand that Benny and I have another teenage girl asking for autographed underwear, sir?" 

Welsh almost smiled, then glowered in retaliation, and not for the first time Fraser wondered if Welsh weren't keeping such a close eye on Ray's career not simply to "stay on his case so he wouldn't screw it up," as Ray said, but subtly to mentor him. Fraser was certain Ray would make a good supervisor one day, if given a chance. The Mountie was beginning to believe that Welsh knew it too. 

Finally, Welsh opened the file on his desk and pulled out a blue envelope, its flap torn, nothing but the station's address written on it, if one didn't count the Chicago postmark over the thirty-two cent stamp. 

Ray took the envelope with the unconscious care of a man used to handling evidence and took out the small note inside. By leaning just slightly to his right, Benton was able to read over his shoulder. 

*To Whom it May Concern: 

I would just like to extend my gratitude to the 27th Precinct for supporting the career of Detective Raymond Vecchio. It's good to know that such a hard-working, honest law enforcement officer is encouraged in his choices, and that this encouragement has resulted in the many cases solved by Detective Vecchio and his "partner," Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP. It makes me proud to know my community is being served by such fine examples of our changing times. 

A Fan of Justice* 

Even while he was reading through the letter, Fraser became aware that more heat was radiating off Ray's body than usual. This was not an easy thing for him to notice. Detective Vecchio had an extremely high-running metabolism, which itself was easily observable by noting his thin frame and the amount of heavy Italian food that the man ate on an almost daily basis. To say nothing of doughnuts and other far-from-nutritious foods. Fraser has noted Ray's ability to eat almost anything and stay thin on practically the first day they had met. Only later had he noted other indications of Ray's high metabolism, which included the amount of body heat he threw off. Most interestingly for a man who complained so easily of the cold, Vecchio was himself a furnace. 

So, considering his proximity to Ray as he stood beside him to read the letter, Benton expected to feel a fair amount of heat against his shoulder and side. If it had not been for the slight flush - almost unnoticeable \- of color along the man's long neck, Benton wasn't certain he would have realized that his friend had become flushed, either with anger or embarrassment. 

"It seems a somewhat straight-forward letter of support," the Mountie hazarded, then watched, as he had suspected even without knowing the cause, as green eyes turned to him in astonishment. 

"Benny, are all Canadians so dense? Don't you know what this is saying about us?" 

Fraser did his best to reason it out, thinking again of the contents of the letter, now memorized. 

"I don't believe you!" Ray ranted, giving the letter back to Welsh as though it were contaminated with concentrated wolf drool. "Why don't you ever see anything?" 

"Well, Ray, I don't believe that's a fair assessment -" 

"Benny..." Ray looked at him now with barely managed patience, which was hardly a new expression. Yet underneath it was an uncharacteristic level of trepidation. His friend was in genuine distress. "You gotta understand this. That letter's implying that there..." The long fingers of Ray's hands made an indistinct gesture in the air, then fluttered to his sides. "...that there's something going on." 

"Going on?" 

"Benny!!" 

"Is he always like this?" Welsh asked. 

Ray's hands were thrown up as he looked over to his lieutenant. "Yes!" 

"Constable, Detective, if I may." 

Ray made a "please go ahead" shrug, and Benton focused on the man behind the desk with respect and attention. 

"The letter is suggesting that you and Detective Vecchio are engaged in a personal...relationship." 

"We do have a personal relationship," Benton countered, feeling very slightly hurt. 

"It ain't that personal!" Ray exploded. Outside the office, Elaine turned to the open door with a frown. Ray turned from her, blocking her out. 

Benny tried again: "Well, in all honesty -" 

"Don't be so damn honest!" 

"Ray..." Benton's eyes had grown somewhat large. Welsh waved for their attention. 

"Constable, the letter suggests a sexual relationship between you and Detective Vecchio." 

Fraser blinked, then blinked again. "Ah." 

"Yeah, 'Ah,' Fraser." Ray paced over to the wall, glared out between the window blinds at Elaine, who shot him a look before getting back to work, then turned around and slumped down with his arms crossed. 

"We aren't having a sexual relationship, Ray." 

"Yes, I know that, Fraser. And Lieutenant Welsh knows that." 

Welsh nodded, then looked pointedly at the door. "It's been a pleasure, as always, gentlemen." 

Ray looked at his feet, then pushed away from the wall and slouched out the door. Benton hesitated, looked into the lieutenant's unhelpful expression, then followed Ray. 

Ray was sitting at his desk, looking with satisfaction at its perfect blend of orderliness and mess. He could see Benny getting closer, and knew in a moment they'd have to talk, but for just this second, he let himself feel nothing but the rightness of this moment: his desk, the precinct, the cases he had piled up before him, the knowledge that soon Louise would show up to bust his balls about something or other, Elaine, Louie, Welsh, everyone in their places. 

He knew who he was. He knew what he was. 

"Ray? I realize you're angry with me, but --" 

"I'm not angry with you, Benny. Mind you, I should be, but..." He shrugged. "This isn't the first time this has happened." 

Blue eyes filled with surprise. "There have been other letters?" 

Ray shook his head and pointed to the chair next to his desk. Fraser balanced his hat on one knee while Dief put his head in the jodhpur-wearing lap for an ear rub. Absently, Ray wondered why the wolf hadn't left them yet to scrounge for food. 

"No, Fraser, no letters." He rubbed his eyes, then looked up, straightening his posture just a bit. "Look, we're going to talk about this, okay? Then we're not going to talk about it again." 

"All right, Ray." 

"I don't know how it is with Mounties up in Canada, but down here a gay cop is tolerated, even trotted out on Political Correctness Day for a round of applause, but his life...it ain't easy, Fraser." 

"Understood." 

Ray nodded. "Now, I'm Catholic, Italian, and quite well known as a ladies' man, so it's not something I've had to deal with before, but I know what it can do to a man's career if certain rumors get started about this man and some other man. The guy doesn't have to come out of the closet for just that, just the rumors, to see that no one wants to partner with him, no one wants him to get promoted, and no one wants him around, you get me?" 

"Yes, Ray." 

"Now, I know this, Huey over there knows it, Elaine knows it, and Welsh knows it. That's why he showed us the letter. That's why he didn't have to do anything except show us the letter. He's leaving it up to us." 

Benny obviously didn't get it, so Ray shook him off before he could apologize. "Look, Benny. The truth doesn't matter. Some joker out there thinks we're..." Ray ducked a bit, and his voice was low and quiet. "...an item. Welsh is letting us know we gotta think about the way we act with each other in public. He's leaving it up to us to figure out how to keep this from happening again." 

Fraser seemed to get it this time, and Ray was about to breathe a sigh of relief and change the subject when that Canadian cultured voice asked at a volume just to match his own, "What other time has this happened, Ray?" 

Ray shrugged awkwardly. "I just meant people have made comments to me before. Nothing major, nothing I wanted to bother you with. They were aimed at me, not you. I'm just saying this isn't an isolated incident." 

Benny looked distressed, and privately Ray was amused, and a little relieved, that even Mr. Perfect was bothered by the idea of people thinking he might be light in the mukluks, until Fraser spoke again. 

"Aimed at you? Are you saying that your being friends with me has caused people to question your intentions with me?" 

"My intentions?" Ray kept his voice down with difficulty. "Geeze, Benny, you sound like you're expecting me to marry you, or something!" 

"Well, now, that's obviously not what I mean, Ray." 

"I'm just saying that because of...you know..." Ray's hand waved back and forth, indicating the differences between them. "People sometimes need to find something to explain it." 

"Explain what, Ray?" 

"Explain why you're hanging out with...why we spend so much time together." 

"We're friends, Ray." 

Ray knew his smile was a little too broad. God, it just felt good when Benny said that. "That's right, but to a lot of guys, a 'friend' is someone you hang out with until you can get a woman back to your place, okay? So they wonder about me. Me and you. Okay?" 

"And so Leftenant Welsh is trying to warn you that your perceived behavior towards me might be bad for your career." 

Ray finally got to heave that sigh of relief. "That's right. You got it now, Benny." He smiled with approval. 

Fraser returned his smile with a simple tightening of his features, then looked down at Diefenbaker. Something passed between man and wolf that Ray didn't get, then Benny stood up and put his hat on his head. 

"Where you goin', Fraser?" Ray stood up too. He'd thought they were headed out for some lunch, but this wasn't how Benny stood up to go eat. 

"Well, it seems obvious that my presence here at the station -" 

Ray grabbed his friend's elbow and gave him a little shake, smiling again despite himself. "Don't get all weird about it, Benny. If you think I want some poison pen creep to spoil lunch, you aren't the Canadian Sherlock Elaine thinks you are, and I'll have to break her heart tellin' her so." 

Fraser's blue eyes were confused again, but Ray saw the smile lurking in those pretty-boy features. "I just don't like the idea that your career -" 

"My career will be just fine, Benny. We'll just have to stay out of biker bars for a while, all right?" 

"All...right, Ray." 

Diefenbaker barked in agreement, and Ray decided he owed the mutt a donut as he got his coat. 

@@@ 

It was always easy to pick Ray Vecchio out of a crowd. 

It shouldn't have been so easy. He wasn't, for example, covered all the time in red wool, wearing a big hat and being followed by a wolf. But there was something about the way he wove around when he walked that drew the eye. 

Welsh sighed. He was tired of having his eyes drawn, and he'd known that letter was trouble when he first saw it. 

"Vecchio!" 

The detective turned, almost pirouette-style, and wove his way into the office. 

"Close the door." 

Startled green eyes and gears turning, trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. The blinds rattled when the door fit nicely into the doorjamb. The noise from the bullpen was cut to a third. 

"Sit." 

The green eyes were looking alarmed now. Welsh was struck by the man's silence. Two years ago Vecchio would have been babbling away now, with no idea what was going on yet. Was it just age and experience, or Big Red's influence? 

Damnit, this pissed him off. And he didn't like being pissed off. 

"We received another letter today." Welsh handed the plastic-wrapped document to Ray, who took it this time with conscious care. 

This letter bore no resemblance to the last, other than a shared Chicago postmark, and a certain implied meaning. In fact, it wasn't even a letter, but a poem. 

  * A cop and a Mountie went skating Watching each other's gyrating. A wolf came along And wolfed out his song As they talked of curtains and more decorating.* 



It was unsigned. 

Ray noticed that the letter was not on blue stationery, that the poem had been printed out in large font - Benny would know the name of it \- and that the stamp wasn't the same sort of thirty-two cent stamp as on the last letter. 

"Nothing to tie them together but the angle," he said quietly. 

"And the fact that they were mailed on consecutive days." 

"So somebody's yanking my chain." 

"Just yours?" 

Ray was looking at him now, calm, but twitchy. "They're being sent here, not to the consulate. Besides, it's not the same for him." 

Welsh raised his eyebrows. "Meaning?" 

Ray looked annoyed with himself. "I just mean, Fraser doesn't get it. Besides, it's not the same sort of insult for him." 

Welsh just waited. Age, experience, or Big Red's influence - it wasn't going to overcome Vecchio's need to complain. 

"I'm the guy on his home turf, the guy whose reputation has to stay...Fraser's Canadian." 

"Canadian." 

Ray exploded, standing up, hands flailing. "Aw, Lieu. You ain't even walked down the street with this guy! Women everywhere - it's like he's some sort of god to them! No one's ever gonna make people think Benny's bent!" 

"But they'll believe it of you, Detective?" 

Ray's eyes plainly asked why Welsh was making this so hard. "You know nobody has to believe it for it never to go away, sir." 

Welsh nodded, and the sudden dread Ray felt made him think of someone pulling a gun. 

"That's right. It won't. So you better find some way of dealing with it that's better than what you got right now." 

"Sir -" 

"You practically live with him, Vecchio, and neither of you is married. Neither has a girlfriend. Now, you I see dating, and that's good, but our constable has had - what? - one woman anyone knows about, and she turned out to be somewhat less than the gal you want to bring home to mama. Not to mention the time a certain someone's sister couldn't even get to first base when she drops her dress in his apartment." 

Ray swallowed down his objection to Welsh's comments, but couldn't help noting, "Is this some sort of new training they're giving you at headquarters, sir?" 

"If you're going to stay his friend, you're going to get more of this." Welsh shook the letter, the plastic crackling softly. "You need to come up with an angle on it that works. Now, I assume that the large stack of files on your desk is in some manner connected to the number of cases on which you are currently working?" 

Ray nodded. 

"And I hope that these cases are nice, normal cases like my other officers get? No stolen Canadian crown jewels? No black market in wolf cubs?" 

"I have three murders, a number of thefts, drug dealing, public indecency, and I just got an arson case, sir." 

Welsh nodded in satisfaction. Ray turned and walked out. 

@@@ 

"I'm not sure I quite understand, Ray." 

*You and me both, Benny.* 

"What, that the wind was from the southwest?" Ray looked over the blackened waste of what used to be a crummy apartment complex, worse even than Benny's sleaze pit. 

"Well, it couldn't have been blowing very hard, or the embers would have carried to the neighboring building." 

"Arson squad said the fire burned so hot and fast there weren't a lot of embers, Benny." 

"Yes, but why use chemicals to make something burn so fast when it was already so flammable, Ray? A gallon or two of gasoline and a match would have done just as well if the owner just wanted the insurance money." 

"Well, no one was in here, and I'm fairly certain no one was keeping anything valuable in here, so...maybe someone wanted a good show." 

"Which means they would have wanted to watch it burn, Ray." 

Ray nodded, and together they looked across the street. A small apartment building, upwind, with drab little windows, all currently covered, through which peering eyes would have gotten quite the floorshow. 

Fraser sighed and muttered something. Ray leaned forward to catch it, then gestured for the Mountie to say it again. 

"The blackout." The quiet words conveyed a wealth of despair for his fellow man. 

"Yeah. No TV, someone decided to produce their own primetime." He smiled a little, and gave Benny a pat on his red-covered shoulder. "Come on." 

Four hours later they were sitting at Ray's desk as Ray typed through the preliminary report. The perp was in holding, and would soon be booked. 

"I believe you spelled 'karosene' wrongly, Ray." 

Ray grunted, backed up the typewriter, applied the white-out, typed an "e" over the "a," and went on. Fraser was jotting down his own notes; the arsonist had turned out to be Canadian. Though he hadn't appreciated Ray's jokes about how impolite fires were, Fraser was secretly relieved to have found a way to make his involvement in the case official. The inspector would be pleased. Or at least, she would be less displeased than usual. 

Ray pulled the report out of the machine with a satisfied sigh. 

"You ready for dinner, Benny? Ma's making meatloaf." 

"Yes, thank you kindly, Ray." 

@@@ 

"You're looking lovely this morning, Elaine." 

"No, Ray." 

"No?" Vecchio's hands were pressed innocently to his chest. "I haven't even asked anything." 

"Well, it doesn't mater anyway. You're wanted." She nodded her head back. 

Ray's eyes went to the open door. 

"Is something wrong?" Elaine asked. 

Ray looked at her, then shook himself slightly, clearing the fear out of his eyes. The look he shot her was pure wise-ass. "Whatever could be wrong when you're looking so fine?" 

Elaine rolled her eyes and turned away, but couldn't help looking up discreetly, following the path Ray made as he walked to Welsh's office. The moment of fear in those green eyes had rattled her, and she found herself suddenly wondering where Benton was. As a sort of offering for the aversion of disaster, she took the file she already knew Ray wanted and placed it in the center of his desk. 

"You wanted to see me, sir?" 

Welsh looked at him until he walked back and shut the door, then sat down. Today's envelope was large and had no address. Before the lieutenant handed it over, he threw Vecchio a pair of latex gloves. 

Ray snapped them on and sniffed, slightly, picking up bad Mountie habits. But the envelope did smell strange. 

Inside were seven photographs, 8X12s, black and white. The first showed him and Benny standing in the middle of the fire yesterday, as did all the others. Ray looked through them again. In each one, he and Benny was standing close to each other, talking and/or looking at each other. The last two were taken when they were gazing across the street at the perp's apartment. In one, Ray was bending over to hear what Benny was saying, and in the second, Ray was patting Benny's shoulder. 

Ray looked through them a third time, trying to block out Welsh's patient presence and figure out what any of this could mean. 

He had no idea he and Fraser looked like that to other people. He knew, of course, that the person behind the camera had waited for shots that looked...what did these look like? He and Benny were just a little inside each other's space. But then, Benny had been practically whispering. And that business of patting him on the shoulder, it wasn't like a hug or a kiss, for Pete's sakes. So why did it suddenly look so bad? 

Ray scowled. So what if he and Benny were comfortable around each other? They'd been to hell together a couple of times, and seen each other at their worst more than once. He'd shot the guy in the back. Benny had once almost ruined his life. Benny'd almost gotten them both killed in a bank vault. Ray had carried him for miles through the northern forest without even much of a thank you. And until yesterday, he hadn't even been sure Benny hadn't slept with his crazy sister. For Benny he'd done stupider stuff than he'd ever done for anybody. If that didn't all mean he could pat the guy on the shoulder, what was the friggin' point? 

Ray sniffed again, putting the envelope to his nose. Smoke. His eyes went to his lieutenant. 

"The envelope was discovered in the remains of a convenience store that burned down on Westmont last night." 

"So, somebody's coming after me and Fraser." He thought of the performance arsonist they'd put away, but the fire seemed to have been suggested by the circumstances. The pictures and the note and the poem, they were the point here. "But why this way? I mean, why burn down a store to get us to look at pictures of me and him talking? Anyone who wants can see us doing that most days of the week." 

Welsh didn't answer. Ray didn't expect him to. 

"I'll need to tell Fraser." 

"Tell Fraser what?" 

Ray looked up at the polite voice and wished he could smile or nod or something. He had to settle for a shrug, while Welsh held out a box of latex gloves. 

Fraser noted the almost professional quality of the pictures. They had been taken with a telephoto lens, and the angle suggested that the photographer was standing on the second floor of the same apartment building in which they had found their arsonist. However, all the pictures were from the last few minutes that he and Ray had been standing in the fire scene, suggesting that the camera person had not been waiting for them, but rather had followed, and then established their vantage point. 

"That still doesn't explain why they took the pictures in the first place," Ray grumbled. "I mean, if this person wants to pretend something's going on with me and Fraser, sir, why not phony up a joint bank account, or get someone to lie about us checking into a motel? These aren't exactly incriminating shots here." 

"No, just slightly suggestive, Ray." 

Ray's eyes met his, and frowned. 

Benton turned back solemnly to the photos, keeping from his features any sign of how much his own words had hurt him. He'd said nothing but the truth, of course, and it was a truth relevant to this case, as far as he knew. But it had hurt. 

There was something so very cruel about this, something that struck directly to his heart. There were so many things he felt grateful to Ray for, and a few of those things were priceless. These pictures were taking one of those special things and twisting it. 

How many people touched him? Women stared at him, and made suggestions to him that caused his tongue to stop working properly, but they didn't touch him. Other men didn't touch him, and seemed even unwilling to shake his hand. If it weren't for the hugs Mrs. Vecchio occasionally smothered him with, he'd forget what hugs were like. Even Franchesca didn't actually touch him, though he was happy with that, actually. Enough damage had been done there. 

But Ray seemed to think nothing of patting his shoulder, or slapping him on the back, or even resting a hand on his arm or shoulder when they were talking. Ray, so sensitive to strict codes of masculine behavior in many other ways, refused to follow the dictate "no touching between men." When a touch was called for, or even just acceptable, he gave it. It almost seemed as if he realized how deeply Fraser craved physical contact, and thus made up for it as best he could, helping his friend in yet one more way. 

But there had never been anything more to it than that. The lack of ulterior motive, the openness of Ray's pats and hand-resting had made the contact all that much more invaluable. Whatever Ray wanted from him, he asked for in words, often shouted and accompanied by eye-rolling and hand gestures. Touching was just connection, not suggestion. 

And now these pictures were lewdly suggesting more all on their own. It wasn't fair. It should be...prosecutable. 

"Perhaps the pictures are meant to discredit Detective Vecchio's testimony in an upcoming trial." 

"I got nothing I'm going to court over where my being - uh - into guys would make a difference." 

"Perhaps they're simply trying to make you generally questionable." 

"Homosexuality isn't a crime, Constable." This came in Welsh's quiet tones, and Fraser almost started. Somehow, he'd forgotten Ray's supervisor was in the room. Perhaps because he wanted to be alone with Ray right now, to figure out some way this wouldn't change anything between them. 

"Did you tell him about the poem?" 

Ray looked at Welsh, then shook his head. Fraser was promptly handed a photocopy of a short poem, a limerick, regarding himself and Ray. 

"I assume the part about decorating is a reference to the stereotype of homosexual men being decorators," Fraser said, almost mumbling. 

"What?" Ray demanded, wanting to know what had the Mountie distracted enough that his perfect diction suffered. 

Blue eyes looked up. "I'm uncertain why Diefenbaker is featured so prominently in the limerick. I mean, of the few times we've skated together, Dief was only with us once." 

The importance of Benny's words became apparent in the silence they caused. 

"About a month ago, the last of the snow," Ray said. "And I told you I wasn't going to do it again without softer ice." 

"We were in the park." 

"On Camellia." 

They both strained to think of anything significant. 

Ray shrugged. "There was nothing. We were just skating. No case. No witnesses. Nothing strange." 

@@@ 

The fire had been set in the 22nd Precinct, and Ray drove the Riv over without talking much, his eyes on the road, his hands gentle and sure on the wheel. 

It really pissed him off. What the hell were pictures of him and Benny supposed to prove? So he touched the Canadian sometimes. Fraser didn't seem to mind, and neither did he, for that matter. God knows nobody else touched the guy. Ray'd once thought Benny probably didn't even touch himself, even alone in his bed when everybody was supposed to do it. 

Did people have some sort of problem with the fact that two guys were such good friends? Did they have to come dump on it or lose out on their frequent flyer miles? 

"I used to work with Ober. He's all right." 

Fraser nodded. What he wanted to say to Ray wasn't to be rushed through now that the car was pulling into a space near the 22nd Precinct station house. Besides, he needed to concentrate. Ray didn't want to tell Ober and Wester about the note and the poem. Fraser agreed that it made things simpler, but it also felt dishonest. And it would make things more difficult later, if they ended up having to explain about the written evidence after all. 

Inside, the place seemed strangely familiar, but only, Fraser realized, because it reminded him of the 27th Precinct house. He found his eyes looking into the far corner, as if Ray's desk should be there. But there were three file cabinets instead, and a bulletin board covered in bulletins and thumb-tacks. 

And the noise was wrong too, he decided. Did Diefenbaker sense it as well? The wolf was keeping very close to him and Ray, though it might simply have been the absence of a friendly face. The sounds in the room were too loud, too sharp. The room's acoustics were unforgiving. 

Ray walked towards two men, both in their late thirties, both with dark hair. One had the body of a high school athlete going slowly, but unmistakably, to fat, while the other was very tall and seemed slightly shrunken, as though he were recovering from a long illness. Ray shook the plump man's hand first, smiling, then nodded respectfully at the tall, thin man as he shook his hand. Then Fraser was introduced. 

"Benny, this is Charlie Ober." Fraser shook hands with the ex-athlete. "He once worked with the finest down at the 27th before he forgot about the good life and came here. Charlie, this is Benton Fraser." 

**"RCMP."**

Ober nodded and let go of his hand, and Fraser noted frankness in the dark brown eyes of Ray's friend. "The uniform made me think you weren't home-grown," Ober said. 

Ray chuckled. Benny was wearing his brown uniform today, not the red, but Ober was into Civil War reenactments and knew just about every uniform ever made in the history of uniforms. "This is John Wester," Ray said next, indicating the tall man. 

Wester shook Fraser's hand, then sneezed, excused himself, and blew his nose on a handkerchief. 

"So where are the pictures?" Ober wanted to know. 

Ray spread them out on Ober's desk, but it was Wester who really went through them, making comments about the time of day they were taken, and the distance covered by the telephoto lens. Fraser agreed with his comments, and added in his own observations. Ray and Ober watched quietly. 

It had been about a year and a half since Ober had seen Ray, and about four years since he'd worked at the 27th. Standing here like this, Ober was able to note how profound, if subtle in their own way, were the changes in his old friend. Ray still looked ready to start talking up a storm, and wasn't quite standing still, always shifting his weight, ready for action. 

But he was...quieter, calmer. His clothes, for example, were still top quality, and obviously chosen with care, but they weren't so flashy now. More elegance and less pizzazz, not so much of that Italian pushiness. And the Ray he'd worked with years ago would have made five or six comments by now, even if they had nothing to do with anything. 

*We're all getting older,* he thought. *Hope it's doing me the same amount of good.* 

They went in Wester's town car to the scene, but there wasn't much to see there, just blackened walls and charred food in melted plastic, nothing even worth looting. 

"So, you think the stalker got the idea of the fire from taking the pictures," Wester said, wheezing slightly in the acrid air. 

"Seems a little too coincidental otherwise," Vecchio noted, kicking at something near the back corner of the store. He frowned at what he uncovered, then turned away. 

"But why burn a place down in our precinct when he's trying to get your attention? Why not burn something that might even have called you to the scene in the first place?" 

"Perhaps he felt that allowing Detective Vecchio to acquire the pictures first might have risked the possibility that he would choose not to report them," Fraser suggested. 

Ober glanced at Vecchio, but the suggestion (however indirect) that he might suppress evidence didn't seem to phase him at all. Ober watched as Ray talked about evidence procedures, and couldn't even see an extra blink. Yep. The guy had definitely mellowed. Or were he and Fraser more than just friends? Instinctively, he reviewed those photos, but there was nothing there. Just two guys talking, and a friendly pat on the shoulder. 

"Maybe he didn't actually torch this place," Ray was thinking aloud now. "Maybe he just waited for another fire and slipped the envelope in." 

"Perhaps," Fraser said. The envelope had been found under the cash register, and it could have been slipped in after the fire. "However, setting the fire in an adjacent precinct does have the advantage of making the photos very public very quickly." 

"And you got no idea who could be stalking you?" Ober asked. 

"What did I say that last time you asked that, Charlie? No! All right?" 

Smiling at getting an old-fashioned rise out of Ray, Ober suggested coffee. 

@@@ 

"Here ya go, Benny. Home sweet fire hazard." 

"Thank you kindly, Ray." Benton unfolded his body from the front seat, held the door open for Dief, closed it, then leaned through the open window. "Aren't you coming up?" 

Ray shrugged. "I'm kinda beat, Benny." 

"I think we should talk about the day's events, Ray." 

"Aww, I don't..." Ray sighed, turned off the Riv's engine, took the keys, paused, looked over at Fraser, sighed again, opened the door and got out. 

Walking behind Benny, watching him say hello to the two kids on the stairs, and trade comments about the weather with Mrs. Gamez, Ray felt disconnected, wanting to fight an invisible enemy and having no way to do it. He'd felt this way with Benny once before, and only once. 

Damnit. He was going to have to say her name out loud. He really hated that. 

Fraser took off his jacket and made tea while Ray sat in one of the plain little chairs and scratched behind Dief's ears. He waited until the kettle was safely back on the cooling burner, but Fraser's back was still to him. 

"You think it could be Victoria, Benny? Making trouble for us?" 

The Mountie had evidently been thinking along similar lines, because he didn't flinch or sigh or ask Ray what he meant. He turned slowly from the counter instead, then unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them up to his elbows. "If it were Victoria," he said finally, "there would be a joint bank account and evidence that we regularly checked in together at a motel." 

He gave one more scratch to Dief's ears before leaning back and crossing his arms. The wolf's head stayed in his lap. "Yeah." 

Benny brought the tea to the table, and all those demons came with him as well. Ray felt them sitting there, staring at him and Benny, waiting to see just how much the past could hurt them. 

He thought sometimes he'd give everything, his Riv, his future, his life, if he could just reach over and take that bullet out of Benny's back. 

But instead the both of them just sat there, sipping tea, while the things they should speak of sat there and watched them. 

*Some hunter you are,* Ray thought at Dief. Too bad the demons didn't carry Milk Duds. 

"Ray." Fraser's voice was soft and sad, and the detective braced himself. "I think the letter, the poem and the pictures are meant to target not us, but our friendship." 

Ray half-smiled, too tired to get both sides of his mouth up. "Yeah. Like that would do it." 

Blue eyes met his, smiled just a little. "Understood, Ray." 

Ray drained his tea, keeping his grimace to himself, and stood. It was only a short ride and a shower between here and bed. Benny stood up too, and walked him to the door. When Ray turned to say goodnight, his friend looked very slightly lost, and he couldn't help the tenderness of his smile. Fraser really was too much. God. He'd never had a friend like Benny before. He thought it very likely he never would again. Like a few stupid pictures would mean anything to him? Please. 

Quite deliberately, but not making too much out of it, he brought up his hand and patted Benny's shoulder until he got a smile, then nodded and left. 

Alone with Diefenbaker, Fraser made dinner, forcing himself, once the pasta and meat were stirred together in a casserole, *not* to give his share to his lupine partner. Whoever was doing this had probably just started. He couldn't skip meals from now until this strange, uninvited case was resolved. 

He got down the first few bites before his thoughts wandered, and Dief, who had long since finished his meal, stared at the food as it was pushed around his packmate's plate. 

As a child, Benton had often hoped for more than his grandparents could provide, yet they had truly given him all a young man needed to grow up: a home, guidance, patience, and all the books he could ever read. And he'd had friends, like Mark Smithbauer and Steve Macino, to play with. His memories of his mother were sweet, if a little sad, and his father's eventual return every year was so reliable that not even death had stopped it. 

Fraser realized he was looking around his apartment warily. All was quiet. Diefenbaker seemed hypnotized by the food on his fork. Fraser put it in his own mouth and chewed, sending Dief his most disapproving stare. The wolf whined. 

He'd been taught young to rely on himself, so much so that he'd occasionally been punished for making decisions over his life without proper authority, such as boiling one of his shoes when lost in the city as a child. He'd been taught to cherish his friends, but not to rely on them for more than a friend should provide. He'd seen what happened to his father because of a friend, and he'd known more betrayal in his own life than he wanted to think about, especially when he was alone. 

He'd also been taught that his life was in his own hands. Superstitions and magic and fortune-telling and the rest all had their foundation in the needs of the human psyche, but they weren't the powerful, unexplained forces that others made them out to be. His father's ghost might be a spirit, or, more likely, was some sort of manifestation of his own need to have his father in his life again. Fraser could accept either explanation. What he couldn't accept was that it was not explainable. 

So what was he supposed to make of Ray's ability to be there whenever Fraser needed him? Even that one time Ray had let him down, by taking the Chevy at the used car lot, he'd still managed to save his life, still come through for him, still been there just when Fraser needed him. And sometimes it seemed as if Ray were behind every tree or counter just waiting to pop out and do just what he needed done, sometimes appearing as if... 

"...as if by magic," he said aloud, just to hear the words. He met Diefenbaker's eyes. *It started, when? When he came into the diner and brought me home for dinner with his family? That was just good fortune. Or when he showed up at the cabin when he should have been back in the hospital, in Chicago, in America. And since then, how many times has he come to my rescue? How many times has he never once resented my coming to his?* 

*That* was the friend Benton Fraser had made, and right at the time in his life he most needed a friend. Was it his fault that his self-reliance had suffered so badly? All he had to do was think about what his years in Chicago would have been like without Ray's friendship and his vision of himself as moving through the world at one and at peace with himself, helping everyone and needing no one, became laughable. 

No, if he'd never met Ray, if he'd been able to stay in Canada and be the Mountie he'd always though he'd be, he would have been fine. But now the thought of a future without Ray's friendship was almost overwhelmingly depressing. 

Scowling, Fraser straightened his spine and made himself finish his dinner. He wasn't going to lose his friendship with Ray. He was going to deal with whatever their new foe threw at them, and then they would order pizza or see a movie or, most likely, get involved in the next case, and life would continue on. Losing Ray was simply unacceptable. 

@@@ 

The phone was ringing. 

Ray Vecchio didn't move anything but his hand and the arm to which it was attached. 

"Vecchio." 

"There's been another fire. Two people were hurt, and there are more pictures of you and the Mountie." 

"On my way, sir." 

It was too early even for his mother to be in the kitchen. He made instant coffee and drank it while tying his shoes. He took a second cup with him in the Riv, and made it to the station house with only a few missed stop signs. Benny would be proud. 

Ober and Wester were in Welsh's office. They seemed surprised, and looked behind him as he walked through the door. 

"Where's Fraser?" Welsh asked. 

With a little jolt, Ray realized he should have gotten Fraser, and that he should have known that. "I can go get him for you, sir." 

Welsh shook his head and waved Ray on in. 

"Why don't you just call him?" Ober wanted to know. Ray noted that his old friend was looking at him a little funny. 

"He doesn't have a phone. I'll fill him in later, okay? What do you have?" 

"Pictures." Were Ober's eyes just a little narrow? Ray was careful as he turned from them to pick up some gloves from the box on Welsh's desk and snap them on. 

The envelope was red this time, and again stank of smoke. He slid the photos, black and white 8X12s, into his hand, then looked through them carefully. 

He and Benny talking in Benny's apartment last night over tea. The two of them draining their cups. Another of them talking, their expressions serious. Next a picture of them walking to the door. And then, of course, one of him with his hand on Benny's shoulder. And then another. He hadn't noticed that Benny looked quite so grateful at the time. And then Benny alone, eating. Then one of Benny talking to Dief that made him chuckle. The next - 

Ray jerked his eyes away from the picture, grimacing. "Geeze, you could have warned me." He shoved the pictures back into the envelope. Like he really wanted to see Benny with his pants off. 

Like he really wanted to know there were several pictures after that one. 

Damnit. Poor Benny. At least maybe now the guy'd put some drapes up. 

"Anybody look for evidence in the apartment across the street?" he asked. 

"The fire isn't completely out yet," Ober replied. 

"So you just rushed over here with the snapshots? What are you expecting me to say? I was at Benny's place last night. We talked. The important thing here is figuring out why someone gives a damn." 

Ober's eyes were definitely hostile. "Lieutenant Welsh was telling us about a couple letters." 

"Yeah?" 

"We don't like being kept in the dark, Vecchio." 

"So now you been brought up to speed." 

"Have we?" 

Ray took a step closer. "You got something you want to ask me, Charlie?" 

"Gentlemen," Welsh rumbled, "this isn't what we're here for. If Detective Vecchio felt the letters we received weren't germane to an investigation of the fire, I'm sure this latest incident has changed his mind, and that he is pleased to have you acquainted with all aspects of the case." 

"Latest incident, sir?" 

Fraser stood in the door, almost at attention, his red uniform bright in the glare of the florescent bulbs, his shined boots a pace apart, his Stetson in his hand. Dief was sniffing the ground a few feet behind him. 

"What are you doing here, Benny?" 

"I heard about the fire. Mr. Ozekki was kind enough to give me a ride to the station." 

"How'd you hear about the fire?" 

"It was on the news, Ray." 

"How did you hear the news?" 

"Considering the nature of our current case, Ray, I asked to borrow Mr. Mustafi's radio." 

"Yeah? What on it needs fixing, Benny?" 

Fraser raised his eyes, the first sign of true animation since he appeared. "Well, the clock doesn't work, Ray, but I'm sure he was unaware of -" 

"There are more pictures, Constable," Welsh announced. 

"Ah." Benny's head bent down a moment, then turned up again. "I thought there might be." 

"Is that why you got dressed in the closet?" Wester asked. 

Benny and Ray both stared at him. "I'm sorry?" Benny finally prompted. 

Ober snagged the envelope from the desk where Ray had tossed it, and Fraser got himself a pair of latex gloves before sliding the pictures out into his hand. The first showed him without his jodhpurs, and the second without his shirt. He could then be seen walking into the closet, then emerging in his red longjohns. The next one was out of order and depicted him and Ray at the table, drinking tea, saying goodbye. Benny's eyes slid carefully to his unofficial partner, who was not looking at him or the pictures. 

"As I have no locks on my doors," Fraser said, looking through the pictures again, noting the angle of the camera and the quality of the focus, "I usually get dressed in my closet. I hadn't considered the advantages before in not being photographed without any clothes." 

Yes, he could see that, just fractionally, Ray relaxed. 

"Have you discovered the location from which these shots were taken?" Fraser continued. 

"No," Ray said, his voice showing strain. "They haven't even looked yet." 

"It shouldn't be too difficult, considering that these must have been taken from a vantage point equal in height to my apartment. We can find it after we inspect the remains of the tavern with Detectives Ober and Wester." 

"There isn't much to see," Ober noted, his narrow eyes darting back and forth between Fraser and Vecchio. "Once you burn 'em down, one gay bar looks pretty much like all the others." 

Fraser raised his eyebrows. "Well, that may be true, but we can't be sure we won't find something of value, particularly since, in each instance, our unknown photographer and poet has been stepping up the level of innuendo regarding myself and Detective Vecchio. These pictures are no more suggestive than the last set, so it may be that there was something more left at the bar for us to find, something perhaps that would not strike the observer as significant until they were looking for it." 

"Like what?" Ober demanded suspiciously. 

Fraser blinked. "We won't know until we find it, Detective." 

"Come on, Fraser, we'll take two cars and meet them there." Ray was moving to the door. 

"We'll meet you there after you tell us what's going on around here," Ober said, taking a step into Ray's path. 

"You know everything we know now, Charlie." 

"I think there's something mighty important you know that we don't, Vecchio." Ober was in Ray's face now, and the Italian detective looked to be about one second from knocking him out of the way. 

"You got something you want to know, then you ask it!" Ray took a breath, but no one else spoke. "Unless, of course, you don't want the rest of us to go there." 

"Meaning what?" Ober shouted. 

"Ray..." Fraser said softly. 

"Charlie," Wester broke in. "Let it go, man." 

"If we're protecting the rights of two fags here, I want to know!" 

Ray snorted, looking at Ober in disgust and taking a step back. 

"Detective Ober," Welsh said in the calm voice two people in the office recognized as deadly, "please remain in my office." The lieutenant's eyes flicked to the red uniform. "Constable, if you would be so kind, please accompany Detective Vecchio to the arson scene." 

"Yes, Leftenant." 

"Detective Wester, I would like to speak to your partner alone for a moment, if I may?" 

Wester just nodded and walked out the door. After a pause, Ray and Benny followed, closing the door behind them. 

Wester, hands in his pockets, stood in the early-morning quiet of the bullpen and looked at the ground. Diefenbaker trotted up to him and nuzzled his ankle. 

Ray looked ready to say something, then walked over to his desk. 

"Detective Wester, I believe there has been a misunderstanding," Fraser began. 

"You don't gotta explain anything to him, Benny!" 

"But Ray -" 

"I'm getting in the car now, Fraser. You want a ride or not?" Ray looked at his friend for a half-second, then turned to walk out of the station. 

"Ray, please." 

Ray managed two more steps towards the door, then stopped, resting his hand on the door frame. He turned slowly, protesting every inch, then crossed his arms. Wester wheezed slightly but did nothing more to break the silence. 

"Say what you have to say, Fraser." 

The Mountie looked at Wester, his hat now in both his hands. "Detective Vecchio and I are good friends, but we are not involved in a sexual relationship." 

Wester nodded, slowly, then let his eyes travel back to the closed door through which Ober's back could be seen. Something unpleasant glinted, but his voice gave nothing away. 

"I have allergies," he told them. "Not AIDS." 

@@@ 

"The angle of the photographs suggests the camera operator was on their knees, Ray. Or perhaps just very short." 

"Well, no one remembers anybody with a camera, and that includes any midgets." 

Fraser nodded, looking out the window into his apartment. It would take a highly skilled photographer to get those pictures of him and Ray from this hallway window. There was no sign of anyone's having been here. 

The last time he'd come here he was looking for Jolly, trying to protect Victoria, desperate to have a second chance, knowing somehow that it could never work. The only woman he'd ever loved had come back into his life, yet she'd never stood still, never allowed him to feel she might be his for the keeping. 

And now Ray was looking out the window too, his thoughts wrapped tightly around his thin frame in his loose coat. They hadn't spoken of anything personal at the crime scene, had spoken not at all in the car. This close to Fraser's apartment, Ray could take off and leave him without guilt. 

"Why didn't you get me this morning on the way to the station?" 

Ray shrugged. 

"This concerns me as well, Ray." 

"I know that, Benny. Okay? I just didn't think of it." 

Fraser said nothing. They watched his apartment some more. 

"You gotta get blinds, Fraser. At least for as long as this lasts." 

"All right, Ray. Would you mind giving me a ride to the hardware store?" 

Ray sighed. "No. I don't mind." 

Dief whined. 

"If you do not wish to accompany us," Fraser told him, "you may return to the apartment. I believe your food dish still has some dried food for you." 

The wolf seemed insulted, and turned for the end of the hall. Fraser looked once again at the lack of evidence around them, then followed. Ray's footsteps were quiet behind him. 

"Perhaps shades would be better than blinds, Ray." 

"Yeah." 

"I'll be able to roll them up out of the way. Perhaps I'll even leave them there when this is over. I've always been reluctant to cut off my view of the outside, doubtlessly because it's so easy to feel claustrophobic here in the city. You know, the Inuit -" 

"Fraser!" 

They had reached the outside, and Benny turned in time to see his friend make for the car. He thought to follow him, but found that his feet weren't moving. Ray made it to the car and opened the door, saw him standing there, and seemed to be debating whether to drive off on his own. 

He closed the door and walked back, not looking at Fraser directly. 

"I didn't want you there, Benny. I didn't want you to have to deal with that." 

"You were protecting me, Ray?" 

Ray shrugged, and kicked at something on the ground. "Can we just not talk about it, Fraser?" 

"If we don't talk about it, it will just get bigger, Ray." 

Ray looked up at last, his eyes tired. "It will get bigger whether we talk about it or not." He smiled suddenly, the self-hating smile that hurt. "I didn't put it together before." 

"What, Ray?" 

"Charlie Ober never keeps his mouth shut. Gays, blacks, Hispanics..." He shrugged again. 

"That suggests that whoever is behind this knew about Detective Ober's reputation." 

"Yeah. Benny, look, it's getting cold. Let's get your blinds and I'll help you put them up, and then you come to my house for dinner, okay?" 

Benny smiled, and held it until Ray smiled back, properly. 

"Thank you kindly, Ray." 

The blinds were easy to install. They were plain and white and rolled smoothly up above the windows, then down below them, blocking the view completely. 

"I suppose I'll take the opportunity to change," Fraser noted as he looked unhappily at the white sheets of shiny cloth. 

Ray grunted and took his own opportunity to go to the restroom. When he returned, Fraser, dressed in jeans, a dark shirt, and his leather jacket, was rolling the shades back up. Dief had taken an expectant position by the door. 

Ray's cell phone rang. 

"Vecchio." 

"The Mountie with you?" Welsh asked. 

"Yes, sir." 

"Get to the station, both of you. Now." 

"We're on our way, sir." 

"Trouble, Ray?" Fraser watched his friend pocket his cell and unconsciously straighten his holster. It was odd the way it didn't bother him to be unarmed when Ray was with him, and he had a sudden memory of Ray at his father's cabin, pouring out a not-so-small arsenal from a small black bag. 

"Welsh didn't say." 

The phone rang again, and again Ray slid it out. "Vecchio." 

"Which one of you likes to be on top, Detective?" a woman's voice asked. "Or do you switch?" 

Ray grabbed the tape recorder out of his jacket, thanking God he'd thought to get it out of his desk. 

"Who wants to know?" he asked casually as he pressed "record" and held it up to the earside. 

"Are you asking my name, Detective Vecchio? Not very smooth for someone who used to be such a ladies' man. Or does your partner like the butch talk in bed?" 

"What is it you want?" 

"To get perverts like you off the force." The voice never changed its inflection, never stressed one syllable over another. It sounded almost as though he were listening to a sexy version of the weather report. "Next time you're going down on Canada's finest, you might think about the people of this city who'd consider that a crime." The line was cut. 

Fraser watched Ray look at the phone, his face slightly pale and quite frozen. The long, nimble fingers moved around the recorder, turning it off, rewinding the tape, pressing "play." He listened to the woman's voice and felt something deep inside him guiltily relax. 

Ray clicked the machine off, then met his eyes. 

"Not Victoria, then," Fraser said. 

"No. I don't see Victoria working with another woman. This is some new nightmare from hell." 

"Ray..." 

"Yeah?" 

Fraser shifted, looking uncomfortable. "Normally, I wouldn't ask, but..." 

"We ain't got all day, Fraser." 

"'Going down on?'" 

"You're kidding me." 

"Ray..." 

Ray held up his hands. "No, I'm drawing the line here, Fraser. You know how to fly a plane, how to start a fire from a carrot, how to perform brain surgery all from reading some book in your grandmother's library, but you don't know any slang about sex? What the hell is that? 'Cause I really wanna know!" 

"A family-oriented library, Ray." 

"Fraser!" 

"I don't know what it means, Ray. And when you play that tape for your fellow law enforcement officers, they're going to know and I'm not." 

"Oral sex." 

"What?" Benny, instantly flustered, sputtered out the word. 

"Giving the other person oral sex, Benny. That's what it means." 

"Ah." Fraser seemed to do some mental calculation. "I see. The slang would seem to reference the manner in which one would approach -" 

"Fraser!" 

"Sorry, Ray." 

They got into the car. Ray started it gently, listened to the engine purr, and tried to relax. 

Benny's lips were pressed tightly together. Ray put the Riv in reverse and eased out of the parking space into traffic. Benny's shoulders shook just slightly. Ray put her in drive and stepped down hard on the gas. Benny wrapped his arms tightly around himself. 

"What?!" Ray exploded. 

Benny tried to talk over his laughter. "I'm sorry, Ray. It's just...I now understand...something I heard Willie say to one of his...oh dear...friends." 

Ray's annoyance level spiked so sharply it somehow turned into laughter. Benny stared at him in shock, then they were both at it again, giggling this time in tight little squeaks that somehow did make things seem a little better, for the moment. Ray ran a stop sign just to feel normal again. 

"Of course," Fraser said several blocks down. "It's inappropriate for Willie to have made such a comment. I'll need to have a talk with him." 

"Yeah, I'm sure that will do it, Fraser." 

"There's no need to be cynical, Ray. Willie has been doing very well in school lately, and has made some comments regarding a desire to improve his family's financial situation." 

"You tell him I catch him dealing drugs, he goes down just like any other punk." 

"Well, I didn't think Willie was your type, Ray." 

Ray's eyes bulged, his head whipping around to stare at Fraser, who was again giggling. 

"That ain't funny!" 

Fraser sobered instantly. "Well, actually it is, Ray." 

"You're making dirty jokes now!" Ray shouted in fury. Benny dissolved once more into giggles. "I teach you a little American slang out of the goodness of my heart, and now you're making dirty jokes!" 

The Riv pulled up to the station and parked between cars, not slowing down until the last possible second. Vecchio got out with a scowl that eased away as Fraser and Dief joined him and walked inside. 

He could feel himself closing off, not wanting to be completely aware of his life when he confronted Welsh. His anger was rising up with an almost sweet purity, and he was looking for something, anything, to cross him or threaten him, or even better, to threaten Benny. He'd love to give some little creep a pounding in an interrogation, or even just shoot something. 

That, or he just wanted the whole damn world to leave him the hell alone. 

He felt things, deeply. He was Italian, for chissakes! But he wasn't into all that touchy-feely crap. He didn't need to think about what he felt, he just felt it. Benny was the kind of friend a man could spend his whole life wishing he had, and Ray Vecchio had him. He didn't want anything else. He didn't want anyone else. And most of all he didn't want to explain it to anyone else, including Fraser. And Benny hadn't needed it. Even now, Benny wasn't asking questions, wasn't making things worse, was even making them better, in his own weird Mountie way. 

It wasn't fair. He was a cop. He liked fair. 

He liked Benny, and Benny liked him. He didn't know why, he didn't question it. He was sometimes so overwhelmed with the gratitude he felt that Fraser could put up with him at all, let alone say he was his best friend, that he could do nothing more with Benny than bitch at him. 

*Just remember what his friendship is worth to you, Vecchio, and you'll be all right.* 

It was certainly worth walking into the precinct and bumping into five or six people on the way to Welsh's office. It was worth the strange look from Elaine, and Huey making some comment about how some people just never seemed to be around doing any work anymore. And it was worth walking into Welsh's office and closing the door, like he and Benny were in some sort of trouble, before he faced his lieutenant. 

"Detectives Ober and Wester have received a call from the 22nd," Welsh said, nodding slightly towards the two men already standing in his crowded office. "I believe you know Ms Carrimore from Internal Affairs." 

"I haven't had the pleasure, actually," Fraser said, extending his hand, which she took in a cool, dry grasp as her gray eyes somewhat clinically assessed him. She was in her forties, with shoulder-length dark brown hair and a slight build accentuated by a light blue suit. Fraser took one look at the set of her mouth and knew she exploited her benign appearance only to cover up a sharp mind. 

Ray relaxed just slightly at the knowledge that Carrimore had been assigned. He'd known someone from IA was coming, and she was a lot better than most of the nit-picking snoops. 

"I received a call as well, sir," Vecchio reported, holding up the small tape recorder. 

"When?" the lieutenant asked. 

"Just after you hung up, sir." He waited a moment, then pressed the "play" button. 

"Who wants to know?" 

"Are you asking my name, Detective Vecchio? Not very smooth for someone who used to be such a ladies' man. Or does your partner like the butch talk in bed?" 

"What is it you want?" 

"To get perverts like you off the force. Next time you're going down on Canada's finest, you might think about the people of this city who'd consider that a crime." 

Ray clicked off the recorder, then opened it and handed the cassette to Welsh. 

"The lab will check it against the call they got at the 22nd." Welsh reached over to the reel-to-reel on his desk and switched it on. 

"Twenty-Second Precinct," a man's voice said. 

"Did you like the fire at the Toolbox?" The lab would confirm it, of course, but it was obviously the same woman's voice. "A few less busts this week with that pit out of business." Despite the words, there was still no inflection. It sounded almost robotic. 

"Have you any information regarding that fire, ma'am?" 

"The incendiary device included kerosene and gunpowder, and I put it behind the popcorn boxes under the bar." 

"Would you like to come to the station and make a statement regarding that, ma'am?" The cop's voice was calm and steady, but just a little slow. Ray could see the guy in his mind, signaling for a trace. 

"There's another device in a very busy building in downtown Chicago. Unless I hear that Detective Raymond Vecchio of the Chicago Police Department and his lover, Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have both been discharged for conduct unbecoming an officer by 8 AM tomorrow morning, the device will go off and a lot of people, including some children, I believe, will be killed." 

"How will we -" 

"When the queers are fired, I'll know." 

The line clicked dead, and there were some beeps and clicks on the line before Welsh switched off the recorder. 

Ray was already reaching for his badge, and put it without a word on his lieutenant's desk. 

"We've started the paperwork," Welsh said, "but since we don't know her source, no one but Ms Carrimore and the sergeant will know it's not legit." 

"Makes sense, sir." 

"May I borrow your phone, Leftenant?" 

"I already spoke to Inspector Thatcher. She's coming here with legal council." 

"Canadian law does prohibit the firing of anyone for their sexual orientation," Fraser noted, "as does, I believe, American law." 

"Fortunately, with 'conduct unbecoming' we won't have to get specific for a few days, especially if we drag the paperwork. By then, we'll know what's going on." Welsh rubbed his chin, eyeing the Mountie reluctantly. "Did she sound...familiar?" 

"She's not Victoria Metcalf," Fraser said flatly. Ray nodded in support. "Detective Vecchio and I also feel it would be unlikely that she's working with a partner." 

"Who's Victoria Metcalf?" Ober asked, his voice a little strained and his arms crossed tightly. 

"One of Benny's old girlfriends," Ray snapped. Let Charlie stew on that one for a while. 

"We're going to put you on Brodad," Welsh went on, his face giving nothing away. "We've got two uniforms there now, and Ms. Carrimore will accompany you. Obviously, you leave the Riv here." 

"I need to get my family out first." Ray looked at his watch. Ma would be starting dinner now. "I need to call." 

"Where will you put them?" Carrimore wanted to know. 

"My aunt in Miami. They've done this before." Ray's voice was resigned. Fraser wondered if he were thinking about Carver, then had his own memory of being stuck in the car with Dief, unable to stop Ray from crawling into the junked car beside him. He'd thought seriously about dying, but he knew from the way Ray acted that he had something planned. It had been...satisfying then to see his friend. 

"I'd like to collect Diefenbaker," Fraser said, thinking of the way Carver had captured him. 

"Isn't he with someone now?" Welsh asked. 

"Yes, someone who will be in no position to protect themselves should Dief become a target." 

"That's the wolf, right?" Carrimore asked with a small frown. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

She shrugged. "No reason he can't come to the safe house too. But we should get moving." 

"We'll work the case from here," Welsh said firmly, meeting Vecchio's eyes. "You two and the wolf stay put and stay quiet. Since you've been targeted, you're a liability on the street." 

"I got it, Lieu." 

"Understood, sir." 

A knock on the door heralded the arrival of Thatcher and Abrams Hanks, Esq. The inspector's eyes displayed both irritation and concern as Fraser filled her in on the situation. Ray took a moment to snag a replacement cassette from Welsh and sneak a look at the case file so far. There wasn't much to see. After that he went into the corner and got on his cell phone with his mother. Ober seemed intent on speaking as little as possible. Wester wheezed. 

"And you have no idea who is behind this?" Thatcher asked when Fraser got to the end. 

"No, ma'am." 

Her eyes went to Ray, who shook his head as he got off his phone. 

"I've been wracking my brains to see if this could be related to a case I did, or a perp I was chasing, but nothing's come to me. None of this makes sense. There's nothing to gain from it that I can see." 

"Were you or Constable Fraser involved with any cases lately where a gay man or lesbian was featured in any way?" Hanks asked. 

"I busted some prostitutes last week, and some of them were in drag, but they all had records and they're all back out on the street." 

"Last Thursday I processed a request for a student's college admission here in Chicago and noted that they were a member of several gay organizations, but the request went through without difficulty. And two months ago I oversaw the arrangements for a delegation from Alberta who were in Chicago to attend a lesbian rally. However, there was again no difficulty connected to my involvement." 

"We'll need to get moving, if we're going to get you two settled before dark," Carrimore urged. 

"You'll contact me when you're secure at the safe house, Constable," Thatcher stated. 

"Yes, ma'am. First we must see to the safe relocation of Detective Vecchio's family." 

"Of course." She turned then, looking at Ray intently. To his surprise, the concern stayed in her eyes. "Tell them...not to worry." 

He nodded to her, then to Welsh, then walked out with Fraser and Carrimore. In his mind's eye, he saw his mother turning off the stove with a sigh, putting the food back in the 'fridge, and going upstairs to tell Maria what was going on and pack. Of course she would worry, but it had been nice of the Dragon Lady to think about his family. 

@@@ 

The call came in to the 22nd less than an hour after the paperwork for Ray Vecchio's dismissal came through, but that was long enough for the news to have made it to dozens, if not hundreds of paper-pushers and cops. There was no way to know how she knew. She simply did. 

"It's inside the janitor's closet at Little Rides Daycare, North and Pine. Have a nice day." 

The officer on the phone tried to get in another sentence, but the line went dead. 

Half an hour later there was a small fire in a trashcan outside the 27th Precinct house. At the bottom of the can the firemen found a charred but intact metal box. Inside, Welsh found pictures of Vecchio and Fraser inside the Riv, talking. If they had been taken the last time Vecchio wore that jacket, they were from a week ago. Their heads were together, their expressions serious as they talked. In all the pictures, Diefenbaker's head was thrust up from the backseat, and he seemed to be paying strict attention to what was being said. 

There was also a note, printed out on a laser printer on plain white paper. 

*There's another bomb, another daycare center. The animal is to be placed in a shelter before nightfall, or there will be another fire.* 

Welsh didn't like it, but if the first daycare center had been torched tomorrow morning, they would have lost at least twenty children. He had a friend at the ESPCA. Dief would be treated well. 

With his second phone call, the lieutenant doubled the number of men watching the house tonight. 

@@@ 

"Damnit. Nothing on but the Braves." 

"There were several films and a variety of American reruns, Ray." 

"Don't you have anything to read?" 

"A thorough search of the house allowed me to discover only several beauty magazines and some paperback romances, none of which particularly interest me, Ray." 

"What? You don't want to know how to do your nails when you decide to be Ms Fraser again, Benny?" 

Benny frowned, crossing his sneaker-clad foot over a jeans-clad leg. Ray privately wondered if he'd picked that red flannel shirt so he could pretend he was still in uniform. "Actually, I was somewhat intrigued by an article which, on the cover of the magazine, promised to explain why men are secretly attracted to women who are overweight. However, the article itself proved to be nothing more than dieting tips in disguise." 

Ray laughed. 

"I'm not sure it's amusing, Ray. The contemporary female in our society is subjected to a number of influences that seem purposefully designed to undermine her confidence and sense of self-worth. Among the Inuit, women are valued for their usefulness as life-mates. Sharp teeth, for example..." 

Ray half-closed his eyes and felt himself relaxing. There was something soothing about Benny's stupid Inuit tales at times like these, when he had nothing else to do, and nothing else to pay attention to but another Braves game. In fact, Benny's tale was no more off-topic than some color commentaries he'd heard during a game. 

So when Fraser finished his story, Ray said the right things to get him going on another one. This one involved caribou and children, and something about an ice storm. 

The story was finished, more or less, when Wester came in. 

"Charlie's back at the 22nd," he said, his voice sounding clear. His allergies were evidently taking a break. Perhaps, Ray thought, he was one of those people whose reactions cleared up at night. "And I'm heading that way, but I thought you'd like to know your dog is doing fine and they found the second bomb where she said it would be." 

"Has she made any new demands?" Ray asked. "Like me and Benny having to go on Jerry Springer and confess all?" 

Wester laughed, and though it was a little strained he seemed to relax a bit. "You guys had dinner yet?" 

"Yeah. Pizza. There's some in the kitchen." 

They went into the next room, Ray grabbing some Cokes out of the 'fridge and opening them before passing one to Benny and the other to John, who ate a slice quickly, washed it down, then rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. 

"We haven't got much. The calls haven't been long enough to trace, the bombs aren't made with anything distinctive, though the style is interesting \- clean and tidy - no prints, nothing special about the paper, nothing special about the ink or the printer. In short -" 

"Nothing." 

Wester looked at Ray and then shrugged. "Yeah." He ate another slice. 

"In such cases as these one would usually track the motive," Fraser said, obviously just thinking out loud. "But in this case, there would seem to be no motive, other than this woman's animosity towards either Detective Vecchio, myself, or both of us." 

"And yet, if she's so pissed off at us, why attack us this way? Like you said, it's like she's coming after our friendship, not us." 

Wester looked surprised. "I was thinking the same thing, you guys. Although, maybe it's your reputations she's after. I mean, unless you find some really good way of dealing with this, it's going to haunt you." 

"It's going to haunt us no matter what." Ray growled and paced a bit. "It's just friggin' pointless!" 

"Well, hopefully she's given it up for the night." Wester finished off his Coke and moved out. "I gotta check in, then I'm getting some sleep. We've got four guys on the house now." 

"Four?" Ray looked surprised. 

"Yeah, Welsh ordered the double after he heard about the dog." 

"Wolf, actually," Fraser said. 

"Right." Wester looked at them, and then suddenly seemed to be hovering. 

"Have you something on your mind, Detective Wester?" 

He looked at the Mountie, then back at Ray, then sighed. "It's really too little to go on, but someone at the lab commented that the bombs are looking a little like something they seen last year. It was a mob hit." Ray went very still. "But there's not enough to go on, not even close. I didn't want to -" 

"Thanks for telling us, John," Ray said. 

"Yeah." 

They watched Wester leave, then Ray flopped back on the couch in front of the baseball game. Fraser thought about joining him, then decided to go for a walk around the house. It was a surprisingly large place, considering the idea was to guard people in it. He supposed they wanted to be prepared to keep more than one person here at a time. Which was fortunate, he supposed. He and Ray really shouldn't be sharing a bed under the circumstances. 

For some reason, the rather impolite thought amused him. Perhaps it was just that such a suggestion would be sure to set off an impressive volley of Ray-fireworks. Perhaps he'd question whether it would be necessary to Ray. 

He chuckled, and turned to walk up the stairs. 

*Zuko,* Ray was thinking. *Does he hate me that much? Is he taking Benny from me because I took Irene away from him?* 

He thought then, of course, to the time he'd come into the hall to find Fraser on the floor, bruised and cut up from Zuko's thugs beating him. And then a year later, when Benny tried to warn him he wasn't dealing with Zuko right. Then at the hospital, when he'd told his friend about dancing with Irene. He'd known Benny knew what he was feeling. It had helped. 

He'd wanted to puke when he saw Benny on the floor like that. Beating the crap out of Zuko later hadn't made up for seeing Fraser hurt. 

But this was all a little subtle and perverted for Zuko. A mob guy didn't involve himself in gay stuff, even as a finger-pointer. If Zuko thought he could get away with hurting Fraser again, he'd just have him rubbed. Besides, Zuko owed Fraser. 

Who then? 

And why, damnit? 

"Ugh." Ray's head, which had been drooping towards his chest, snapped up at the sudden sharp heat in his upper arm. But when he tried to focus on the room, everything blurred, and when he tried to figure out what had happened to him, his brain shut down, and a tightness in his chest was all he could feel as his body went limp. 

Fraser walked down the stairs quietly and turned the corner to see that Ray was sprawled out on the sofa, asleep. Surprised, he moved forward. He'd thought Ray would be up all night, muttering and complaining and trying to figure things out. 

Something white flashed outside the window, as though a furred creature had run by. 

Not wanting to wake Ray, he turned and walked silently to the window, frowning at Dief's stubbornness. He'd had a long talk with the wolf before turning him over to the shelter, explaining that what they were doing was for the civic good. He peered into the darkness. 

And then a sharp burn hit his shoulder, the world went blurry and dark, and, though he didn't know it, he made more than enough noise to wake a sleeping man as his body crashed to the ground. 

On the sofa, Ray didn't move. 

@@@ 

His arms were killing him. 

It was the pain from his arms that woke him, though the cold might have shaken him awake even without those protesting stabs up and down the muscles of his arms, pleading with him that they couldn't take his weight anymore and please, please, please move. 

So before his eyes had even opened fully to the bright, sterile whiteness of the room, he was moving away from the metal pole and feeling the tightness around his wrists, listening to the metal *clink* his ears knew so well. 

*Handcuffs. And probably my own, with my luck.* 

He blinked his eyes clear, fighting back a tight, nasty headache, and leaned back further. He was handcuffed to a pipe, and the cuffs had been looped around a joint clamp, so that he couldn't bring his hands down. 

He turned his head, blinked again against the pain, and saw a long, dark shape on the floor. 

"Benny!" The shape didn't move. "Benny?" 

He thought he could see Fraser breathing, and it didn't make sense to kill him and then drag him into this room, wherever this was, but then, if Benny were okay, why wasn't he handcuffed or tied up too? Ray pulled his arms, then stretched his body out, trying to nudge Benny with his feet. He was just too far away. 

Ray growled in frustration, called his friend's name several more times, then looked at the cuffs. They had been left just a little loose around his wrists. Perhaps his slender hands could be useful. He tucked his thumb inside his fingers and pulled, shouting Benny's name in excitement when his right hand slid down almost to the knuckles. He pulled harder, twisting his hand back and forth. It wouldn't quite budge. He licked at the skin, twisted his hand some more. Damn, it hurt! 

"Benny! I'm coming, Benny." 

Another twist, then another and another, until his skin was cut on the edge of the cuff and the blood stained the gray cuff of his jacket and seeped into the cloth of his green silk shirt. It also made his hand slippery enough that with another vicious pull it was out. Shouting in triumph, he pulled the cuff through the clamp, then whipped around to scoot over the floor to Fraser and roll him on his back. 

Thank God, the Mountie was breathing, though it must have been hard for him with his neck all twisted up before. He straightened Benny's body out and looked him over. His forehead was warm, though Ray was startled to see blood on the pale skin of his throat, until he realized he'd dripped that blood off his wrist. Hissing at the sudden sting of it, Ray reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and wrapped it around the cut before using it to clean off Fraser's neck. He'd have a couple impressive bruises there too. The cuff hung heavily from his left hand, and he was careful not to hit Benny with it. 

As he listened to the soft sound of Benny's breaths, Ray looked carefully now around the room. 

It was almost completely featureless: four white walls, a white floor, and a white ceiling with a circular light fixture in the middle, the metal pipe, and the faint outline of a door in the wall to his right. 

That was it, except that it was cold and the air smelled a little stale. 

Ray frowned. It *was* cold, cold enough to remind him of meat lockers and horses. He almost smiled. To think he was so worried about the well-being of a guy who once used him as a human shield! 

Fraser moved. 

"Benny? You all right? Benny?" Ray leaned over him, watching as Benny's eye fluttered open. His mouth worked, and Ray leaned down to hear the words. 

"Hello, Ray." 

Ray smiled almost to his ears. "Hello, Benny. The floor's real cold. Can you sit up?" 

Together, they got Fraser upright and leaning back against the wall. Ray kept a hand on his shoulder until Benny nodded and got back some of his color, then leaned back and looked around, wondering what the Mountie would notice about the room that he'd missed. 

"What happened to your hand, Ray?" 

"Oh, I just cut it, Benny. How's your head?" 

"Clearing, Ray. Sodium hydrate, I believe, administered with a dart gun." 

"Packs a wallop." 

"Indeed." Benny breathed deeply for a minute, and Ray waited with something close to a smile. "I'm detecting freon in the air, Ray. This room may be intended for refrigeration. Curiously, I'm detecting no horse meat." 

Ray's laugh was prevented by the opening of the door. 

They both heard the click of a high heel before the woman appeared. A tall poster woman for heroine-chic. Ice-blue eyes, a flat little nose over thin lips, and black hair pulled back in a French twist. Four-inch heels that made her even taller and thinner. And a black suit with no jewelry. Looking at her, both Fraser and Vecchio truly felt the cold for the first time. 

"Just can't keep your hands off each other, can you?" 

It was the same voice from the phone calls, though for the first time there was an emotion in it, a trace of ironic disgust. 

"You know there's nothing going on between me and Benny," Ray snarled. "What do you want, and who the hell are you?" 

The woman seemed to think for a moment, and a small movement behind the door alerted the men to the presence of others. 

"I'm Ms Socks," she said finally. 

"'Ms Socks?'" Ray demanded, throwing up his hands and almost smacking himself in the face with the cuffs. 

She smiled most unpleasantly then and walked towards him. Two men, both dressed in casual clothes belied by their alert hostility and the fact that they seemed made entirely out of muscle, walked in behind her and took up positions at the door. The one on the right was holding a sack from MacDonald's, and Ray's nose picked up cheeseburgers. 

He was glad for Fraser's way with faces, because he knew he'd have a hard time recognizing either man again: bland, super-average faces with brown eyes and brown hair and not a scar or mole in sight. Of course, he'd know the noses again. Fraser would have to fill in the rest when they made their report. 

*When* they made their report. Ray repeated the thought firmly as "Ms. Socks" leaned over him and took his handkerchief-wrapped hand in a cold little grasp that made his wrist ache. Ray snatched his hand away and she straightened. 

"You'll do, Detective Vecchio." She looked at Benny, then back at him. "You'll do very well." 

"I ain't doing nothin' for you!" 

"Ms. Socks," Fraser said in his best Mountie voice. "I'm sure you realize both that Detective Vecchio and myself are not engaged in any sort of relationship other than being friends, and that neither of us will abet you in any way. In fact, I'm sure that as soon as the opportunity arises, Detective Vecchio will be placing you under arrest." 

She actually laughed, a breaking sound that seemed disconnected from her, as though she were somehow both ventriloquist and puppet, and stood up. 

"If the two of you behave yourselves, you will survive. There's no need for me to kill you." She waited for a response, then seemed pleased when she didn't receive it. "However, I also have no great need to keep you alive. Not both of you, anyway." She turned slightly and nodded to the men by the door, who instantly moved forward and jerked them off the floor. 

"Hey! Watch what you're grabbing! Don't! Ouch! Benny, you okay? Hey! You just - Ouch!" 

The men backed off, and one of them threw the MacDonald's bag near them. Ms Socks nudged it with her foot, eyeing the two men now sprawled on the floor and handcuffed around the metal pipe, and then turned and walked out. The door closed without a sound, but Fraser felt his ears pop slightly. The air was stale, but not that stale. Air must be coming in around the light fixture. 

"Are you all right, Ray?" 

"Yeah." Ray's voice was muffled against Benny's shoulder. Their arms had been wrapped around each other, with Ray's cuffs looped through Fraser's belt and Fraser's hands cuffed behind Ray's back. Between them was the metal pipe. Their legs were either bent beneath them or tossed out to the side. 

"I'm afraid they've purposely made things as uncomfortable and awkward between us as possible, Ray." 

"I kinda noticed that, Benny." 

"She seems determined to maintain her position of a homophobe dealing with two male lovers, even though she's lost her audience." 

"Noticed that one too, Benny." 

"Which suggests she's using her fiction to undermine our confidence in each other." 

"Benny, my leg's going to sleep." 

"Ray, if we ignore the sexual overtones -" 

"Benny, this is only, you know, like that, if we make it like that! As far as I'm concerned, we're just all tangled up and you're on my leg! Now, get it off of it!" 

"But if I move away from your leg, Ray, our groins will -" 

"Stop talking about our groins! You're my best friend! As far as I'm concerned you don't have a groin, all right? Now, just lift up!" 

Fraser brought up his joined hands and managed to wriggle them around enough to grab onto the pipe, then hoisted his body up a few precious inches. Ray pulled his leg out from under him and managed to get his lower half all on one side of the pipe. Benny set himself back down with a sigh and curled his own legs around on his side. Now only their upper bodies were pressed together. 

For a long moment, they just rested there, not talking, not turning to look at each other. Perhaps they would never have spoken, or moved, if Ray's stomach hadn't decided to protest with a low growl. 

"Are you hungry, Ray?" 

The thin body fidgeted, then Benny felt a sigh over his neck. "Yeah, Benny. Aren't you?" 

"Yes, Ray. I believe we were unconscious for at least sixteen hours." 

"How far is the bag?" 

Benny looked over the distance. They could try wriggling around so that he could reach the bag with his feet, but he didn't care for the idea of the strain that would put either on Ray's bruised hands or his own pants. Besides, the bag was within arms' reach, if he simply leaned into Ray very tightly. 

Oh dear. 

Holding a breath, he squeezed into Ray, admiring again the heat of that slim body, like Dief without the fur, and reached for the bag. 

Ms Socks had judged it perfectly. The bag was just a centimeter out of reach. 

What to do? Should he ask Ray's permission before pressing against him more tightly? Or should he say nothing and just do what needed to be done? 

Ray's stomach growled again, and that settled it. He let all the air out of his body, pressed forward as firmly as he could, and stretched his left arm out as far as the cuffs would allow. His fingertips brushed the bag. With a few swipes, he managed to bring it closer. He got the edge of the bag between his index and middle finger, then dragged it forward into his grasp. 

Instantly he sat up, which meant he was suddenly looking into Ray's face. 

The green eyes smiled. "Nice going, Benny." 

"Thank you kindly." 

Inside the bag Fraser found two cheeseburgers. He tried to pass the first one to Ray, then remembered that his friend's hand were handcuffed behind him, through his belt. Without a word, he opened the wrapping and held the sandwich up to Ray's mouth. 

"You eat first, Benny." 

"Actually, Ray, I think -" 

"Just eat first, Fraser!" 

"Understood." 

Cold and greasy, the burger made a lump in Benny's stomach the second he took his fourth and final bite. He seriously doubted whether the meal held any nutritional value whatsoever. However, it was true that he felt less hungry afterwards. 

Ray's turn now, and he held up the burger as Ray wolfed his down in four bites as well, frowning over the taste. 

"No fries, Benny?" 

"No. I'm sorry, Ray." 

"Don't be sorry, Fraser." To the Mountie's astonishment, Ray's arms squeezed him just slightly, and Ray's voice was tender. "You're doing fine." 

"Thank you, Ray." 

The detective nodded, then yawned. "We've been through nuclear weapons and amnesia and my sister walking into your room with Bat-Girl lingerie. What's this woman got we can't handle?" 

Fraser had to think for a moment, but managed it. "Nothing, Ray." 

"Damn straight." 

Fraser looked at the white wall, the white ceiling, the white floor. 

"It's kinda like snow, huh, Fraser?" 

"Well, hardly, Ray. It's not nearly cold enough." 

"You complaining?" 

Another moment, and Fraser was smiling this time. 

"No, Ray." 

@@@ 

Inspector Thatcher walked into the 27th Precinct without the lawyer this time. Lieutenant Welsh waved her inside his office even as she was dodging around a tall, good-looking black man in a dark suit. She thought vaguely that she should know his name. But surely he was just one of Vecchio's associates. 

She wished she weren't in evening wear, but there had been a reception tonight at the Brazilian Embassy, and she had rather obviously needed to attend. A little voice whined that *of course* this had to happen just four days before the Canadian ambassador to the UN would be visiting the consulate, but she shushed it. 

She'd been coordinating the search efforts with Welsh over the phone for the past two days, including being there when the officers on duty had woken at the hospital. The men had been unable to add any information to what they already knew, however: they'd been shot full of chloral hydrate with a long-range dart gun, and they were absolutely useless. If they'd been Mounties, they would have resigned by now in disgrace. 

Welsh held a hand over the receiver as she sat down, taking out her own phone and arranging her files. "Not a trace of them." 

She nodded, and made the first of what would be dozens of calls that night. But there was nothing, no sign of them at all. If it had been anyone besides Fraser and his friend Vecchio, she would have started to wonder by now if they were dead. 

But no, this was Benton Fraser they were talking about, and his equally indestructible other half. They were alive, somewhere, and probably causing someone besides herself a very large, very painful headache. 

@@@ 

Cam Walters liked his job. Driving the big bus down crowded Chicago streets took real skill, energy, care, and patience, especially when dealing with his passengers. 

Take this guy hovering near the door, for example. He didn't know what the loud beanpole was on, but it was mega-high-octane. From the second he'd hopped up the stairs he'd been making noise and hovering and generally being a pain. Every time the bus stopped for passengers, he looked like he wanted to push Cam out from behind the wheel and roar on past. 

Right now the guy was about two seconds from a heart attack. Mrs. Westmore, a nice regular who sometimes showed strangers pictures of her grandchildren, was struggling up the stairs. Her skirt was straight, and she was having a hard time getting her legs far enough apart to reach the next step. His passenger opened his mouth, and Cam got ready. One crack from the guy and he'd be walking it the rest of his way home. 

To the driver's surprise, his unruly passenger asked only if he could help the woman up the stairs. Receiving an affirmative, he firmly but gently guided her up and to a seat, then returned with her fare, which he plunked down the machine. Cam found himself back in the road, maybe just rushing things a little. Man, the guy really did look bad, and he wasn't the sort to look good on his best day. Huge, shadowed green eyes that looked like he thought the whole world was after him, and long, pale hands that shook and seemed to want to touch everything. Later, when Cam was talking to the police, he'd mention those trembling hands several times. 

For now, he actually stopped thinking about his passenger for five minutes or so, just weaving around the traffic, until he got to Piper St. and opened his doors. There was a flash of gray wool, and Mr. Hopped-Up Stringbean was running down the sidewalk with his jacket whipping behind him like a cape. 

@@@ 

They let him run the last part of the way down the hall, almost flying into the room, holding up the folder of Xeroxed copies, gasping with the need for more air than his lungs would draw in. His eyes saw only that there was no blood, and when Benny called his name, he couldn't hear it, not the first time, over the thunder in his ears. 

"Detective Vecchio," Ms Socks said quietly. He heard that. "You've returned on time. How very good of you." 

He held out the file with his right hand, his left going to his knee, propping him up as he began to get his breathing under control. He'd thought he had caught his breath back in the van, on his knees, blindfolded as they drove him back here from the rendezvous point. The short run here from the garage, or whatever it was, shouldn't have taken so much out of him. 

Benny hadn't been moved, and now when Fraser said his name he heard it. 

"Yeah, Benny?" 

"Are you all right, Ray?" 

She took the file from him, and he moved forward cautiously, past the table so that he could see Benny's feet. His shoes and socks were still on the floor, where she'd put them before she gave Ray his instructions. He could see Benny's toes. Ten of them. 

And counted them again, superstitiously. Ten toes. Five on each foot. 

"The copy quality could be better," Ms Socks noted. 

"I couldn't ask for more toner." Ray's voice was flat and hoarse. The throat was so dry it hurt. That made it easier to keep himself from complaining, to keep from telling her about how he had to hide in the supply room, sneaking around while he could hear Elaine and Huey talking about some thief who'd tried to bite the arresting officer. He said nothing about standing at the copy machine, almost dying every time he heard a noise. He didn't mention the little girl he'd almost shoved out into the street by accident when he was running for the van, or the cop who might have spotted him when he was leaving the 27th. 

He only stood there and watched her flip through the information she'd asked for: files on the plans for a new parking structure for the 25th Precinct, public information she could have gotten from City Records. 

She closed the file, considered for a moment, then nodded. One of the three men - more of the guys with the plain faces and nothing but muscle under their clothes - standing about the room moved forward and untied Fraser's hands. The Canadian said nothing, but brought his hands together in his lap, rubbing at his wrists. He moved slowly, fighting the cramp that came from sitting so awkwardly for three hours. The man knelt and untied his legs, then stood up and resumed his place by the wall. 

Fraser flexed the muscles in his legs for a moment, then reached down for his socks. 

"Hurry up," Ms Socks said, grabbing the pruning shears off the table and waiting only until Fraser had just slid on his shoes before she nodded to the man next to her. Ray and Benny were grabbed up and hustled to the cold, white room in which they had awoken so many hours before. The guy who had driven the van walked up to Ms Socks with another MacDonald's bag, which she threw into the room to land next to a small mattress covered by a thin brown blanket. 

"Get your sleep," she instructed, then closed the door, leaving them alone. 

Fraser let himself stare at Ray, not moving towards him, not bombarding him with questions about his well-being or how he had possibly managed Ms Socks' impossible task. Sweat stained the gray suit, and the smell of it, though hardly offensive, was sharp in the air. The cut, bruised hands were shaking, and there was a new cut on his left hand, as though he'd scraped it along brick. His eyes were slightly wild, and staring at him. Benny found he had to swallow before he could speak. 

"I'm so sorry, Ray." 

Ray swallowed as well, and, impossibly, smiled. "Sorry for what, Benny?" 

There wasn't an answer to that one, except to smile back, struggling for it. 

"Can I do anything for you, Ray?" 

"We'd better eat." Ray sat down on a corner of the mattress and reached for the bag. "I passed by at least a dozen coffee shops, Fraser. I think it's some sort of conspiracy they got going, cause they're all brewing up a storm. You should have smelled them. Even that crummy Starbucks stuff smelled good." He fished the two cheeseburgers out and handed one to Benny. "And there was this pastry shop - I couldn't believe it! They had some sort of cream looking things - I gotta find out what they were! I bet Ma could make them, but they looked like Heaven." 

"Your mother is an excellent pastry chef, Ray." 

Ray swallowed down half the sandwich in one bite. "Yeah. I wish she'd teach Frannie some of her tricks. You should have been at the house a couple Christmases ago...uh, I guess it was three, come to think of it. Frannie decides she's going to make this Swedish shortbread stuff with mint. Gawd, it was just about the worst thing you ever tasted! And the smell of it!" He broke off to eat the other half, shaking his head. "I thought we were going to have to call in the toxic waste guys." 

"Would you like part of mine, Ray?" 

"Eat your burger, Benny. What? You think she's going to give us another one? Besides, it must be nice eating dinner without Diefenbaker trying to beg it off you." 

"He does indulge in begging far more than one would expect in an arctic predator, Ray." 

"Well, don't look at me. I don't feed him." 

"Well, that's not entirely true, Ray, though you do pretend not to." 

"What? You calling me a liar?" 

Benny opened his mouth, but whatever retort he'd planned died off. His lips pressed together, and his blue eyes looked down. He tried to say something else, then frowned. "No, Ray," he said finally, then ate the last of his sandwich. 

Ray grabbed the paper wrapper out of his hand roughly, balled it up with his own, and shoved it in the bag, which he balled up as well before throwing it against the far wall. 

"Let's get some sleep, okay, Benny?" 

"Certainly, Ray." 

Vecchio made no move to take anything off, just lay back on the mattress and rolled over on his side, facing out. Fraser slid in on the other side, trying to give Ray most of the blanket without being too obvious. The problem was, there wasn't much blanket to begin with, and the room, which had always been cold, was colder than it had been before. He worried about Ray's sweat chilling him, and he worried about rolling off the mattress and onto the icy floor, and he worried about the fact that Ray couldn't settle into any position that didn't make the two of them touch each other, a touch that in each case was emphasized by his friend's fierce body heat. 

"Ray," he murmured. 

The taut body beside him sighed. "Yeah, Benny?" 

"I believe Ms Socks deliberately designed our sleeping arrangements so that it will be impossible for us to share the bed without allowing our bodies to touch." 

"What did I tell you about discussing bodies, Fraser?" 

"Ray, this is ridiculous!" Benny snapped his jaw shut, fighting down the anger, the hysteria. But as he turned over to look into Ray's eyes, all he could see was what he'd imagined for three hours: Ray's face if he returned just a moment too late, Ray's face seeing him so helpless like that, unable to stop her from hurting them both. Ray must have run a marathon in those three hours, and as for how he'd kept out of sight at the precinct... 

"Ray," he whispered, unable to keep from thinking of the thousands of times he'd caught Ray looking at his back, obviously hating himself for what had been an accident, an attempt to save him from himself, to keep Victoria from ruining his life. What would Ray have felt if he hadn't made it back in time today? Would those eyes ever have been able to look into his again? 

But Fraser would have been all right, even while struggling to stay in the narrow bed made of a thin blanket and a thinner mattress. He would have been able to turn back on his side and pretend to sleep, if Ray's eyes hadn't closed in self-disgust, if he hadn't tried to look away. 

"Ray," he said again, a hoarse rasping version of his friend's name, reaching for him, needing to center himself in the universe. Ray's hands fended him off, but before he could protest, those warm hands were on his chest, then sliding down to his hips, then further, down his legs. Ray was sitting up then, the blanket like a tent over his shoulders, and Benny lay passive as his the touch went to his ankles and his shoes and socks were slipped off. 

"Just don't say anything, okay, Benny? Just for a little while." The warmth of narrow, elegant fingers wrapped over his toes, holding them, keeping them safe, and Benny nodded, biting his lip and saying nothing. He wished the light weren't so bright, the room so cold. He wished they were safe, really safe, and that there were a fire nearby, or even a movie on the television with the sound turned off. 

Eventually, Ray stirred, and Benny wiggled his toes in a successful attempt to coax a smile out of Ray. The detective slipped his socks and shoes back on, then was almost excessively casual about lying down next to Benny, getting their arms arranged so that they fit against each other without really embracing, and then pulling the cover up to their shoulders. 

But Fraser needed to speak now. Ray would forgive him. 

"Ray, when I almost went with Victoria -" 

"Oh, God, Benny! Are you serious? You wanna talk about that now?" 

"Ray, it took me a very long time to figure this out, and I need to tell you this before...I just need to make sure you hear this. Now is hardly the ideal time, I agree, but...I need you to hear it, in case of...anything." 

Ray sighed. "All right, Benny. But keep it short, okay? We have to sleep before she makes me clean the city with my toothbrush." 

"I loved her, Ray." 

"I know, Benny." 

"No, I mean I did love her. I loved her the moment she saved my life, perhaps the moment she first refused to give up, perhaps...the first moment she spoke to me. And I loved her when I sent her to prison, and I loved her when she showed up in Chicago. I knew she wasn't telling me the truth. I knew she wanted to hurt me, that she loved me and that she hated me. My father told me once that a man will sometimes give anything for a second chance, and that's what I wanted with her, that's what I needed: a chance to go back and undo the horrible mistake I made, the mistake I almost couldn't live with." 

Ray moved a hand to his shoulder and held it. Considering the circumstances, Benny was nearly overwhelmed with the sympathy behind the gesture. 

"But by the time I was at the train station -- and this is the part it took me so long to figure out, Ray -- that had changed. She no longer represented a chance to make things right. She had come to stand for the chance to escape." 

"Escape?" 

"Yes, Ray. Of course, what I felt for her was an escape from discipline and loneliness, but more importantly, if I went with her, I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore about the years she's spent in prison, and what they had done to her inside. I wouldn't have to go to my superior officer and explain how I'd let her come so close to ruining my life. I wouldn't have to face the board of inquiry. I wouldn't..." Benny broke off and breathed heavily, fighting something. Ray just kept hanging on to his shoulder. "I wouldn't have to stand guard duty anymore, or stay in a city where you can't see the stars. I wouldn't have to watch Diefenbaker go from being a partner to a pet. I blamed myself for his bad habits, and for getting him shot, and I couldn't stand anymore that I was an exile from my country and the life I had always wanted for myself." 

"Benny..." 

"And you were in the middle of it, Ray. I owed you so much, and I had given you back nothing but trouble. I didn't understand it, and in my own way I was as frightened of you then as I was of Victoria. I was ruining your career, and setting you up, albeit unknowingly, to go to prison. And in return you mortgaged your house for my bail and never questioned that I was innocent. I could barely look at you, and when I thought of how much I wanted Victoria, even when I knew she was a murderer and a liar and ready to destroy your life and mine out of spite, I wanted...I wanted to run away from you, Ray. I didn't want you to see me anymore." 

Ray was silent now, and Benny kept waiting for the hand on his shoulder to withdraw, even though he knew it wouldn't. 

"When she was on the train, escaping me, escaping the trap she'd made for us, calling for me to come with her, I didn't just see her, I saw freedom, Ray. I saw a chance in one moment to stop being what everyone expected me to be. No more uniform that itches every day of the year, no more hiding every emotion and having no one to share my life with, no more guilt and sorrow and loss and my father and you...you who owed me nothing, who never asked for anything more than just... 

"I looked back and saw you, Ray, running towards us, and I just wanted you to leave me alone, to let me run away." 

Ray let a long space go by before he spoke, and when he did it was almost too soft and sad to hear. 

"Is that still what you want, Benny?" 

"No, Ray. I did want it for a long time, Ray, long after I realized what I wanted, long after I knew I wouldn't want it anyway. But when that longing finally went, I knew it for certain. You can't mistake something that painful when it finally leaves you. You saved me, Ray. When you shot me by accident - and I do know it was an accident, Ray \- when I fell to the ground and had to stay in the hospital, when you saw to it that I was cleared of all charges and helped me back into my life, you saved me. Escaping with Victoria would have seemed like freedom, but now, looking at it...the worst possible prison. 

"I would have had nowhere to go, nothing to support me. I would have been trapped, a fugitive shackled to a woman who hated me and loved me and would have made me suffer every moment I was with her because of that love. I think now that I was just so glad to feel something again, after my father's death, something deep and real, that it didn't matter how much it hurt. Just *feeling* again was so good. But how long could that have lasted before it was Hell? 

"No, you saved me, Ray. You saved me when I first came to Chicago, and you've been saving me every single day since." 

"And you don't want Victoria now? If she showed up and asked you to come with her, you wouldn't?" 

"No." 

"You sure?" 

"Quite. In fact, I'd arrest her, Ray." 

"Well, I'm glad about that, Fraser. She was no good for you." 

"No, Ray." 

Ray gave his shoulder an extra squeeze, then released it, but he'd been too silent too long. Fraser could almost feel the build-up of words in his friend's body. 

"You deserve someone you'll love you right, Benny, who'll appreciate you and look after you, and get you to move out of that rap-trap and into a real place." 

"Couldn't she just like my apartment too, Ray?" Fraser's smile was audible. 

"Are you kidding me? No woman's going to live like that!" 

"Well, actually, Ray, Inuit women -" 

"Oh, God, no! No Inuit stories, Benny! I just can't take it right now." 

"Understood, Ray." 

They were quiet for a long time, but the room was very cold, and the air seemed to swirl around them through the blanket, out and then back over the floor, which Ray was sure now was covered in ice. 

"Benny?" 

"Yes, Ray?" 

"We're never going to tell anyone about this, right?" 

"Er...right, Ray." 

Fraser felt Ray nod, then a clean-muscled arm snaked around his waist and pulled him close, settling him against six feet of long, lean heat. He stifled a sigh, and the two of them curled into the other's body and finally managed to get some sleep. Both comforted, one more than he could admit, especially to himself. 

@@@ 

"I should have realized you wouldn't be able to help yourselves." The voice managed to drawl without betraying actual emotion. The two men stirred, then sat up, shivering in the cold air as they lost contact with the other's warmth. "I suppose I should be a good hostess and get you some condoms." 

"Why don't you give it a rest?" Ray demanded, standing up and noticing the way the guys at the door tensed and looked ready to beat him to a bloody pulp until he stepped away from Ms Socks to the side of the mattress that now stretched out between him and a silently standing Fraser. "You had those pictures taken, and they were the worst you could come up with. You know we aren't fooling around." 

"There are all sorts of ways to make love, Mr. Vecchio." Her thin lips curved up into a technical smile. "Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Fraser?" 

Both men felt the abrupt shift in tensions, the adjusted focus that put Ray in the background. It took conscious thought for Fraser to keep from stepping back. 

"Yes, Ms Socks. People express love in many fashions, just as they express many different forms of love." 

She crossed her arms, considering him, then nodded. For once, the men with her did not spring into action. She seemed merely to be deciding something. 

"I'm ready for an expression of love, Mr. Fraser. And I think you are too." 

"What...sort of expression did you have in mind?" 

"You're so impatient. I should think you'd welcome the chance to discuss the issue first." 

"Love comes in many forms and makes itself felt in a variety of ways." Fraser shrugged gently, trying to get his body to uncramp. "You yourself might be expressing a type of love at this moment - love of your work, love for whomever you work for -" 

"Love of watching others express their love?" 

It would be so much better, Fraser thought, if only she were actually amused, if only her boredom were feigned. 

"I don't quite see how -" 

"I'd like you to express your love for your partner, and I'd like you to do it by telling me of the plans you've been making at the consulate for the visit by the UN Canadian Ambassador." 

Fraser's eyes went wide. "The ambassador's itinerary is a matter of public record." 

"Well, then I'd say it's not very loving of you to tell me his itinerary." Her head began to move. 

"Don't nod!" Fraser's hands were up as he practically dove in front of Ray. "What do you want to know?" 

"Benny, don't let this bitch -" 

"Ray, I really think you should be quiet right now." Fraser knew he was shaking, and since he had his back pressed right up against his friend's front, Ray knew it too. 

Ms Socks smiled, and perhaps this time she did seem amused. "Now, that's an expression of love, Mr. Fraser. Tell me whether the ambassador will be making a 'surprise' inspection of the St. Jude Shelter on his second day." 

"But...I don't know that." 

"Really?" 

The man on her right moved forward a few steps, and suddenly Ray was being smashed against the wall by Fraser's body; the Mountie's arms were outstretched. 

"Fraser! Damnit!" Ray squirmed. 

"Perhaps you could tell me the menu for the reception at the Brazilian Embassy." 

"I don't know that either. You would need to speak to the Brazilian Embassy. I could place the call if you -" 

"Your expressions aren't pleasing me, Mr. Fraser." The man on her left advanced now. 

"Benny!" Ray gasped out, the sound muffled by a shoulder. 

"What day is the trash pick-up at the Canadian Consulate?" 

"Thursday!" 

The word echoed slightly in the room. Ms Socks seemed to consider the effect satisfactory, as she nodded again. Then she turned and exited, and the two men with her followed quietly until the door shut behind them. 

Fraser stared at the door. His pounding heart hurt. 

"Benny? I can't...breathe." 

"Oh! Sorry, Ray." He stepped away from the wall and watched as Vecchio straightened his suit. The slim body seemed to gather itself, then he was looking into highly irritated green eyes. 

"You shouldn't have done that, Benny." 

"Are you suggesting I should have let her hurt you *before* it became obvious that I would tell her whatever she wanted to know?" 

Ray frowned. "But that's not true. Your duty comes first. Everybody knows that." He flashed a flashy smile. "Good thing for me she didn't actually want anything top secret this time, huh?" 

Blue eyes reflected deeply hurt feelings. "Are you suggesting I would have stood by and allowed you to be hurt if she had asked for something more substantial, Ray?" 

"Well...I'm only saying I know you would put Canada first, Benny." The wiry arms shrugged out. "I mean, it's only the truth, and I respect you for it." 

Fraser didn't answer, and since there was nothing in the room to pretend to be busy with, it was exceptionally obvious that he didn't answer. 

Ray watched his friend pace a bit, then stand still, then pace again. 

"Benny?" 

"How could you...how could you think I'd let her hurt you, Ray? That I'd just stand there and think about the good of Canada while she had you worked over?" 

"Well, I know you wouldn't just stand there -" 

"And what exactly do you know I would do?" 

"Well...I don't know...some Mountie thing!" 

"'Some Mountie thing,' Ray?" 

"Yeah, like you did when that woman wanted those bonds, and you refused to give them to her until you could jump her!" 

"And from where exactly would I be jumping Ms Socks, Ray?" 

Ray gestured wildly. "I don't know! I never know what you're going to come up with! I just play along!" 

Fraser's jaw worked. "And what about you, Ray?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"You walked into your own precinct, Ray, photocopied documents, avoided your superior officer, broke the law." 

"She had pruning shears, Benny." 

"And so you would have betrayed your honor, your code, your position as a law enforcement officer to save me, yes?" 

"Aw, Benny..." 

"Yes or no, Ray?" 

"Well, obviously yes, Fraser!" 

"So what does it mean if you don't think I'd do the same thing?" 

"I don't think...it's just that we've got our...patterns." 

"Meaning?" 

"Meaning you're Mr. Do-Right and I'm the guy who breaks the rules." 

"You think the rules matter to me when your life is in danger, Ray?" 

"Well...yeah, Benny." 

Fraser closed his eyes, and seemed to collapse in on himself. 

"But only in a good way, Fraser. I mean, the way that lets me break the rules knowing I'll never go too far, not when you're there to keep me safe. Aw...geeze, Fraser! Can't you tell when I'm giving you a compliment?" 

Fraser's voice was very quiet, even in the silent room. "I wouldn't let her hurt you, Ray. Not if I could stop it." 

"Okay, look, I got it. And I appreciate it." A warm hand pressed on his shoulder. "I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry." 

"I'd...I'd do anything for you, Ray." 

Ray sighed. "Same here, Benny. I guess that's why she's got us here." That blue gaze, less calm than it should be but still an undeniably Frasarian gaze, returned at last to meet his own. "She's got something she wants one of us to do, and she wants to make sure we'll do it." 

"That does seem to be what she's trying to prove...that we will do what we're told." 

Ray made a light, furious hiss. "It ain't right, attacking our friendship to make us defend it. Making us prove stuff that two guys shouldn't have to prove. Treating us..." 

"...like lovers, Ray?" 

Vecchio did his best to produce a lop-sided grin. "Yeah, I guess." 

Benny nodded slowly. "I suppose she underestimates Catholic discipline." 

Ray half-nodded, then scowled, taking his hand off Fraser's shoulder. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Only that our code of behavior is governed by a number of factors beyond ourselves, Ray, and that while Ms Socks may be adept at exploiting our emotions, she obviously doesn't understand the concept of adhering to higher law." 

"But...you're not Catholic, Benny." 

"Quite true, Ray." Fraser noted with some distress that Ray was leaning away from him. 

"So what has Catholicism got to do with anything? I mean, we're not lovers because we're two guys, right?" 

"Considering the fact that 'two guys' sometimes are lovers, Ray, there would seem to be more to the issue than that." 

"Yeah, we're two straight guys." 

No doubt about it. Ray was looking at him warily now. Fraser found, to his surprise, that it made him angry. 

"Ray, I know you have a tendency to see things in black and white, but even taking your religious beliefs into account, I refuse to believe you subscribe to the arbitrary societal constraint that people are either completely heterosexual or homosexual." 

"Benny, we're not having this conversation." Ray turned and walked away all seven steps to the wall, then had to turn back. He just stood there, hands shoved in his pockets. 

"Well, considering that this may be our last chance to set things straight, Ray, I think we are going to have this conversation." 

"Benny, you're a good friend of mine. Why do you need to know more than that?" 

"Well, I don't need to know much more, Ray." 

"That's something, I suppose!" 

"I just need to know if you're afraid that I'm going to ask you to have sex with me." 

"Benny!" 

"Because, considering our past relationship, I'm wondering if you might think I'd ask it as a favor, and since you have a habit - about which I'm not complaining, mind you - of doing me favors -" 

"Benny..." Ray's faint voice was strangled off as Fraser looked at him. "You...wouldn't..." 

"No, Ray." The man's voice was firm and sure. "I wouldn't." 

Ray's body went limp in relief. 

"I would never ask you to have sex with me as a favor." 

Fraser watched as Ray nodded, then nodded again more slowly. He waited patiently. It wouldn't be long now. Those large green eyes flicked to his, and tension returned. Benny thought he'd never seen anyone in his life whose body spoke so clearly every thought his mind entertained. 

"Benny...you're not saying...I mean..." Ray's hands came up, inexorably, weaving something unspeakable in the air. 

Fraser took no pity on him, standing there as though on relaxed guard duty, if there were such a thing. 

"Benny." Ray's voice was the firm and sure one now. "You're not saying you'd ever ask me for sex for any other reason either." 

"I'm not?" 

"That's right." 

"Actually, I can think of a number of instances where -" 

"Fraser!" 

"For instance, if it were somehow to save your life, or even, I admit, my life, or perhaps even Dief's life...I'm not sure about Lieutenant Welsh's life, although he is a fine officer --" 

"God, Benny. God, just shut up." 

Fraser was silent. Ray rubbed his hands over his shorn head once, twice, three times, then rubbed his eyes. The Mountie wondered absently if he looked as tired and strained as his partner. 

This was the very last place he'd ever wanted to have this conversation, but Ms Socks had begun something he needed to finish now, before the chance to finish was taken from them. He knew, absolutely, that she would kill them, or worse, without concern and without hesitation. When Ray finally spoke, he knew he'd never heard his friend's voice so thin and small. 

"Benny, are you saying you want to have sex with me?" 

"No, Ray." 

The green eyes looked furious and relieved at the same time. "Then what the hell are you -" 

"I don't want to have sex with you because you don't want to have sex with me. Indeed, I wouldn't want to 'have sex' with anyone, not if it weren't making love." 

Ray just stared at him, looking frightened now. Benny sighed. This wasn't getting through. 

"Ray, you have defined the boundaries of our relationship, and I've been grateful for each and every definition. You were the one who brought me home to your family, who invited me to eat bad Chinese and pizza and every other unhealthy food you've taught me to crave. You're the one who followed me north and saved my life from Gerrard, from Victoria, from that plane crash. I've never had a friend who defined the closeness you allow. I've reveled in it, cherished it. If you had made it sexual, I would have reciprocated." 

"As a favor, you mean?" Ray sounded hopeful, and Benny was tempted to let him off with a lie. 

"No, Ray. Not as a favor, as part of our partnership, as just one more way that you would let me enjoy you." 

To Benny's surprise, Ray shivered. But the room was cold. At least Ray seemed a little calmer. He even laughed just a little. 

"This is like that time you dressed in drag, isn't it? You're just telling me you weren't raised with hang-ups about sex like a Catholic Chicago kid was, right? So if we'd wanted to fool around, you would have experimented, like for fun? Another way to explore your feminine side." 

Fraser frowned. "Not really, Ray. I'm saying -" 

The door opened, and one of the men -- the guy with the nose that turned just a little to the left, Ray noted - walked through with another MacDonald's sack, which he handed to Fraser. Benny took out the two cold burgers and gave one to Ray. Left-nose watched them eat, took the wrappers, then led them back to the room with the table and the chair and the ropes. It was all Ray could do not to throw up. 

On the table this time lay a meat cleaver. 

@@@ 

Inspector Margaret Thatcher read once more through the bus driver's interview, put the file down on her lap, met Lieutenant Welsh's eyes, sighed, and picked up the file again. 

"The only reason I can come up with for Detective Vecchio's attitude on the bus is that Constable Fraser is being held hostage." 

Welsh let her see his little sigh of relief. That had been his conclusion as well, as well as Carrimore's, but he wanted her to come up with it on her own. 

"I've got every available man working overtime, but we're only coming up empty." 

"I've been keeping Ottawa informed, and I've been authorized to cooperate with you fully," Thatcher said. Welsh barely heard her continue under her breath, "As if I would do anything else." 

"Inspector..." Welsh got up and closed his office door, then sat back behind his desk. He rubbed his chin with a mixture of deep thought and discomfort, then looked at her, then looked away. "I need to know if you can offer any insight." He paused. 

"Into what?" 

"Vecchio and Fraser, they're pretty tight." 

"Detective Vecchio seems to make a habit of monopolizing Fraser's time, you mean." 

"They're good friends." 

Thatcher looked slightly annoyed with herself. "Yes. They are." 

"If they're being used to keep each other...in line, we need to see if we can ascertain..." 

"...how far they'd go to protect each other?" 

"Yeah." 

Thatcher sighed. She was getting a headache again. "I think the more efficient question is simply, what, exactly, are they capable of doing?" 

@@@ 

Ms Socks looked again at her watch, shaking her head just slightly. 

"He hasn't made it to the van yet," she told him. Her man would have phoned in if he had. "The driving time required is, I'm afraid, just a little more than your lover has left." 

Benny didn't look at the cleaver, or at his hand tied down over the table, his fingers outspread. 

"Detective Vecchio will make it back in time if he can." Fraser's voice was almost serene. If his ego were larger, he'd have believed that was a frown that flitted over Ms Socks' face. "If he can't, then it won't be his fault. You are the cause of this, and you will be made to pay for your crimes." 

Ms Socks shrugged slightly, then tsked, then looked mildly curious. "Which hand do you like to use on his cock? I can make sure we...apply our punishment to the other." 

"As you well know, Ray and I aren't lovers." 

She smiled -- empty, frozen little smile. 

"Then you won't mind when it's his turn next, and we have to chop off something of which, I do believe, he has only one." 

@@@ 

Ray knew his chest would explode. He knew it with a certainty usually reserved for thinking about the sun coming up, or Benny being polite. 

His chest would explode, his lungs would fall out onto the pavement, and his running feet would slip and trip over them, and he'd be dead and flat on his back and oh, sorry, Benny. Did you need that finger for anything? 

The van. Where was the damn van? 

It was supposed to be at the corner, but he was almost there and nothing was in sight but some crappy old hatchback and a couple of compacts. 

The errands she'd given him this time made less sense than the photocopying of public records, but there'd hardly been a chance to argue, or to cheat. He'd bought meat and left it for Dief at the shelter without being recognized, he'd snuck into the Riv and left today's newspaper in the back seat, crumpled up, and he'd made a phone call from the booth on 18th and Pine to the 22nd, asking for Wester, getting him on the line, and then hanging up. 

And now his stupid chest was going to explode and he'd made it to the corner and no van. No *fucking* van! 

He was seeing spots and his throat was on fire and someone next to him was asking if he was okay. The van roared up on his left, and he was running out in the street. If it ran him over he wouldn't have to think about Benny dying of shock anymore. God, he was late. He was late. 

The van slowed and swerved, and the side door opened. He threw himself inside, banging his shin something fierce. 

"Go go go!" he rasped out as he closed his eyes and got on his knees, putting his hands behind him for the ropes or cuffs or whatever they wanted. He heard the door slide shut and someone reporting that he'd arrived as someone else slid a blindfold over his face. He knew how much time he had left, and how long it took to get them back to wherever Ms Socks had them hidden. He'd screwed up. He'd failed. The cuffs went around his wrists. 

"Look!" he shouted, even though his voice was basically gone. "Look!" He was up now, banging his head on the roof, and spinning around. "I can't tell where you're going! I can't count the turns!" He slammed into the side as the van turned left, and the handle of the door jabbed between his ribs like a dirty fighter. "Just go there! Just go!" He kept spinning, landed on his knees, faced the back, gasped, shouted, got up and spun some more. God, he was dizzy, and with nothing left in his stomach anymore he dry-heaved. 

The van turned some more, which way he had no idea. He fell down and couldn't get himself right again. When they stopped, he yelled at them to run the light. The motor died. 

He was alert, pointed like a hunting dog, when the door opened he was stumbling out still blindfolded, still cuffed. A hand pushed the cloth down and he was running, out of the carport, down the hall. It would be seconds either way. That bitch would do it with his footsteps coming down the hall, the hall that was twice as long as he remembered. 

And then he was there, in the room with the table and oh God oh God no blood, and Benny's hand on the table with the cleaver and Ms Socks looking at him in surprise. 

"You made it," she said, lowering her watch-wrist. "I didn't think you would." 

His chest was exploding, and he could barely see. His shoulder hurt like hell and his wrists were still in the cuffs. He could only stare at Benny's black-spotted face, weaving...or was he weaving? His ears hurt, the roar of blood was so loud. 

"Vecchio!" 

She's been repeating herself. He stared at her in terror. She'd picked up the cleaver. 

But he'd made it! She said so. 

"Mr. Vecchio," she said now, watching his eyes watch the blade. "Bow down, and stay down." 

Benny shouted something, but he didn't hear. If she wanted to chop off his head, she'd need more than...oh, his stomach...bent over like this, he couldn't breathe, and...what was that...? 

Ray's oxygen-famished body rebelled and collapsed, sprawling out on the floor at her feet. Ms Socks nodded in satisfaction, then sniffed slightly, and shook her head. 

"He stinks," she told Jefferson as he stood by the door, holding the key to the handcuffs. "They could both use a shower. And get their clothes clean. We'll need them presentable tomorrow." 

Jefferson nodded. He had been worth his asking price. As had the others. It was really quite satisfactory. 

She turned to the Mountie, again feeling the unaccountable need to smile. He was staring at Vecchio as though nothing else existed in the universe but that scrawny little body. 

Quite satisfactory indeed. 

Ray stirred even as Ms Socks was walking out. The guy unlocking his handcuffs shook his shoulder to speed things up. 

"Ray?" 

Was that Fraser's voice, or had some little kid with a cold come in here? Vecchio looked up at Benny, then got himself into a sitting position on the floor. Everything he had hurt. 

"You all right, Benny?" 

"That's my line, Ray." 

"I'm fine." Somehow, he stood up. His bones creaked, and he was still breathing heavily. He looked at the guy standing next to him. There were three others in the room too. He almost laughed. A kitten with a penknife would be too much for him right now. "You gonna untie him?" 

The men all seemed to consider it, then one walked to Fraser, grabbed the cleaver off the table and cut through the ropes. Ray had to turn away. 

One of the men had left when he looked back. Benny was rubbing his wrists and rolling his shoulders. His own body hurt even more, but it was distant pain. He gave a mental shrug. What was a state of shock between friends? 

He'd have to get Benny to let him hold his fingers, like he had his toes. Then he'd feel more connected to the world. 

The man who had left returned, holding soap and two towels. Somehow looking at that made Ray's stubbled chin itch. Benny, of course, didn't have a whisker on him. He didn't smell nearly as bad, either. 

"I believe we're to shower, Ray." 

"You think we could get a rub-down and a shave too?" 

"We'll have to check with the concierge." 

Left-nose motioned to the door leading back to the hall, which in turn led to a door Ray hadn't noticed before. He opened the door and stepped through, only to discover that instead of a room, it was only a spacious shower stall. A state of shock was no match for the dread pouring into his stomach, dread that turned to terror when Benny was pushed in after him. His eyes wide, he turned to object, and saw Left-nose and Bump-nose standing there, waiting. 

"What's going on?" 

"I believe they're waiting for our clothes, Ray." Benny's voice shook just slightly. 

Ray crossed his arms and stuck out his chin. "Well, they can wait until their mamas call them in for supper. I want privacy when I shower. This ain't no show!" 

Bent-nose stepped forward and held out his hand. 

"Screw you." Ray's voice was flat and hoarse and hard. 

Bent-nose smiled just slightly, and suddenly he had Benny up against a white-tiled wall, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his chest. Ray jumped towards them, only to be thrown against the other wall by Left-nose. While Ray cursed, Bent-nose caught his eye, then slowly, slowly ran his fingers over Benny's chest, fingering the place he felt the nipple under the shirt. 

Ray cursed again, shook off the guy holding him to the wall, and slipped out of his jacket. Bent-nose let Benny go instantly, then watched as Fraser began to strip as well. 

When both men had handed over their underwear - Benny's Moutie-issue boxers and Ray's black jockeys - Bent-nose handed over the soap and walked out with his colleague, shutting the door firmly behind them. 

"Hey, there's a lock." Ray went to the door and slid the little bolt over. 

"It wouldn't hold, Ray." 

"No, but it's something." Ray couldn't make himself turn away from the door. Was Benny looking at him? He was more frightened now than in the van. 

No, that wasn't true. He'd never been so scared in his life as then. He prayed he never would be again. 

"Did that guy hurt you, Benny?" 

"No, Ray. I do feel quite unclean, though." 

"Well, we should take that shower." Ray was still looking at the door. 

"The controls are over by you, Ray. I believe." 

"You believe?" 

"Well, I'm not looking at the controls, Ray. I'm looking at the ceiling." 

"The ceiling." 

"Yes. You see, Ray, it's really quite simple. If we just do this while keeping our eyes on the ceiling, we'll be able to keep from looking at each other." 

"We'll trip over our own feet and fall on top of each other." 

"Ah. Well, not if we're careful, Ray." 

"I need to hold your hands, Benny." 

"Ah. I see. Then, perhaps, we should just look at each other and..." 

"...get it over with?" 

"Ah. Yes." 

"On three?" 

"Okay." 

"One." 

"Two." 

"Three." 

He turned, and Benny looked down, only as far as his face, then a little farther, to his chest and shoulders. 

"Ray!" 

Well, he didn't much care for the look of horror in Benny's eyes, even if he wasn't a marble statue like Benny was. 

"You're so bruised." Fraser walked up to him, touching his shoulder just slightly. "Have they been beating you, Ray?" His voice was mournful. 

Ray shook his head and stepped back, trying to get away without looking like his skin was crawling - or covered in goosebumps, anyway. "Nah, Benny. It's from the van. I'm all right." 

Benny nodded, staring with concern and regret into his eyes. Ray smiled, Benny smiled back, and then, without warning, those blue eyes dropped down. Ray flinched, but Benny was looking over his shoulder now, and his face was red. Ray opened his mouth to cuss him out, and then his own eyes looked down for half a second. 

*Dark hair there too. My God. He isn't cut.* 

Benny marched the two steps to the shower knobs and cranked. The shower head was fixed in the middle of the ceiling, and as the hot water rained down Ray could think only of the vault, even though this time there was a drain in the floor, Frannie wasn't outside, and they didn't have any clothes on. 

Benny turned around and held out his hands. Ray grabbed his fingers and held on. 

"She knew we'd want to touch each other," Benny said over the noise of the shower. "She put us in here, now, just to make it worse." 

"She's a class-A bitch all right, Benny." 

"Could you do it, Ray?" 

The detective frowned. But what was he complaining about? Standing here in the shower with no clothes on, holding on to his sanity only because Benny's hands were in his, was the Mountie supposed to make sense? 

"Do what, Benny?" 

"Touch me, Ray." 

"Where, Benny?" Ray's voice was shaking again. 

Benny pulled very lightly on his right hand, bringing it to his body, until he placed it over his chest, where the goon had touched him, covering the offended nipple. 

"Get rid of him, Ray," he pleaded. "Like you did...with Victoria." 

Geeze, he was gonna start bawling if Benny didn't stop saying things like that. And he was all muscle. He'd never felt anything so solid. Thinking about Bent-nose touching him made him want to puke. His head swam slightly. He needed some real food and about a week of real sleep. He reached for the soap instead. 

He got the lather going, then cleaned off Benny's chest, then his shoulders and his arms. Benny moved like one of his nephews, getting food or mud cleaned off him before Maria could see and raise a fuss. He lingered over those strong, safe fingers, then made himself stoop down and do his hips, yes, somehow, lightly over his groin, then his legs, quickly, then his feet, then turning him around, the backs of his legs, lightly again over his butt, then lingering on his back, kneading a bit at the knots and rock-hard tension of him. Then he soaped up that thick hair and rinsed him all off. 

When Benny turned around, that pale cock was hard. Not rock-hard, but definitely aroused. Ray refused to notice. 

Then Benny was taking the soap from him, mirroring him exactly, spending no more time than he had on every part, getting him just as clean, front and back, then soaping up his head and rinsing him off. Ray smiled at him. 

Now Benny was rock-hard. Ray noticed, and spread his hands slightly, his mouth working on some comment that wouldn't take shape. 

"I'm sorry, Ray." Benny turned, leaning his left hand against the wall, hiding his face, while his right hand stroked viciously, trying to erase rather than ease the tension there. 

God. Ray saw that perfect ass flex with each stroke. He saw the way Benny shook. Saw the red flush of shame on alabaster skin. That Benny should suffer was intolerable, after the van. 

He stepped forward and pushed Benny's hand away from himself, covering that long, sturdy, uncut cock with his own hand. It made it easier that the flesh in his hand felt so unlike his own, but he didn't care about how difficult this was. He felt Benny sob and push hard against his hand, struggling to come. 

"Shhhh." He soothed Benny's back with a caress, strangely calm himself, considering. Perhaps it was because he wasn't offering anything he hadn't offered before, just in a different way. "It's okay. Just relax. Close your eyes and relax. It will be okay." 

Benny sobbed again, but did as he was told, closing his eyes, leaning his head back. He took in a bone-deep breath, then another, then relaxed as Ray moved his hand back and forth, using the foreskin, running his thumb over the head once as an experiment, then again and again as Fraser shuddered and moaned, just a little. 

"Ray...Ray...I'm so sorry, Ray..." 

"I'm not. Shhhh. It's okay. I promise. Just let go, Benny. It's all right." 

Benny's body tensed again, suddenly, almost painfully, from the look of it, then his hips jerked forward several times. Ray held him, stayed with him through it all. When Benny sagged against his hands as they pressed against the wall, Ray helped him stay on his feet, even though he felt almost boneless himself. 

He wished he could have seen Benny's face when he came. He wished he could say something good and make him smile now that it was over. 

"Do you...feel clean now, Benny?" 

It worked, somehow. Benny turned and smiled, albeit faintly. "Yes, Ray." Then, inevitably, he frowned, his smooth brow creasing up. "I hope you don't feel soiled." 

Ray threw up a hand, waving it all away. "It's not like this is the real world, and we got to worry about the morning after. She's gonna kill us, Benny." 

"Yes, in all likelihood, Ray." 

Vecchio shrugged and flashed a killer smile. "So what you worried about then, huh? Besides..." He punched Benny on the shoulder and took his own advice. "You're the best friend I ever had, Benny. Ever." 

Fraser copied the punch, awkwardly. "I...love you too, Ray." 

The Italian grinned in relief. They'd said it. Now they wouldn't ever have to say it again. 

Benny turned off the shower and he slid the lock back on the door before opening it. Bent-nose handed them their towels. 

@@@ 

They played the tape a good four times in Welsh's office before they wanted to say they were sure. 

"22nd Precinct." 

"My I speak with Detective Wester, please?" 

"Sure. Hold on." 

Several clicks, then a slightly congested voice: 

"Detective Wester." 

A brief hesitation, a slightly in-drawn breath, then a click as the line was cut. 

Thatcher knew it would be better from her, but she was tired of being the bad guy and remained silent. 

"It's Vecchio." Carrimore said it, finally. 

"That makes the meat at the shelter for the wolf, his fresh fingerprints in the car, and this." 

"What's the point?" Wester asked. 

Meg looked at him, unaware of her stare's withering quality, and decided to put it in terms an American could understand. "He's dancing." 

"Dancing?" Wester looked blank. 

"While someone shoots at his toes, Detective," Welsh explained heavily. He'd thought Wester had more going on than this. 

Thatcher met his eyes. *Or shoots at Fraser's toes.* She didn't have to say it aloud. He just nodded and looked down at the file on his desk as though he didn't already have it memorized. 

Were they lovers? It wasn't the first time she'd wondered about it. But no, the pictures would have been worse then...or better. She fought off the tiny impulse to smile, but couldn't stop the slight shake of her head. Of all the ways she and Fraser might have resolved their mutual...interest, his winding up in Vecchio's arms had never remotely occurred to her...though come to think of it, he had always been a little protective. 

She made herself think about it, safe from pain in the lieutenant's office with so many people watching her. She'd always been best confronting her feelings when there was nothing she could do about them. 

Benton Fraser was an incredibly attractive man, and it had been that attractiveness that had made her distrust him. She was embarrassed now that she'd originally taken one look at his stuttering insecurity in her office thought him in the same league as Turnbull. But Fraser's bumbling disappeared when he was on the job. That's why things had been best between them when they worked on that egg thing, and on that train, working together to stop Bolt. At the height of their partnership they'd kissed, and it had been a fabulous, soul-searing kiss, no question about it. 

But when sanity had returned, so had the certainty that what she felt for Fraser wasn't good for her. Both of them needed people to love who would draw them from their duties, help them enjoy their lives without the uniform. A personal life with Benton would have brought her happiness of a sort, no question, but they didn't want the same things. 

No, that wasn't it. She'd gotten it right a minute ago. They weren't good for each other. She'd seen Fraser behave with confidence and competence when he didn't know she was there, and she'd seen the painful drain of both when he realized she was in the room. And she, likewise, threw the barriers up so instinctively when he was around that her own competence became harsh, and her confidence became cool and cruel. 

Now, a little Latin hot-bloodedness might thaw Fraser out, and she was willing to bet Vecchio appreciated Fraser's approach to police work better than she could, while that Fraser's straight-arrow devotion probably balanced out Vecchio's more relaxed - usually she would say overly relaxed \- style. 

It wasn't that she approved, of course. Vecchio was a loud-mouthed cop with no respect for procedures, or for Fraser's real job. But it was convenient, it made a kind of sense she and Fraser could never have made together, and perhaps, just perhaps, with the awkwardness between herself and Fraser erased by his Italian boy-friend, she and he could enjoy their working compatibility more regularly, and without the need to have their lives in peril. 

The smile came, then, thankfully too small to be noticed. 

If it were true that Fraser the Legend Jr. had succumbed to something so basic as lust with Officer Wise-Ass Six-Shooter, she would have that over him for the rest of their lives. 

Besides, they were the two most annoying men on the planet. They deserved each other. 

@@@ 

Ms Socks wasn't satisfied with what she saw, not remotely. Two strong, sane men were watching her watch them, and didn't even seem to mind that they were still wrapped up in towels. 

The first thing usually to be fixed was precisely the thing she couldn't touch: their general health. She needed them strong and whole for tomorrow, though taking just a little bit off one of Fraser's fingers really wouldn't have been a bad idea. Nevertheless, she needed to have some trust between them, or they wouldn't perform. 

Besides, it was nothing short of extraordinary that Vecchio had made the deadline. That sort of desperation deserved a reward. 

And Jefferson -- from all places to gain inspiration! Too bad she made a point of never working with the same team twice. 

"Tomorrow your errand will be a bit more productive," she said. "I want to make sure you you're up for it." 

"We get four cheeseburgers this time?" Vecchio wanted to know. 

She couldn't help the near-urge to smile. It was really so very solid when everything clicked into place. 

She nodded, and Jefferson back-handed him just enough to get him on the floor. He didn't even draw blood. Addams and Truman grabbed Fraser, keeping him in line while Vecchio tried to sit up and Jefferson kicked his arms out from under him, leaving him sprawled on the floor, the towel crumpled to the side. She noticed the detective was already quite bruised; this wouldn't have to last long. 

"Stop it!" Fraser was shouting. "What do you want? We've done everything you said!" 

Vecchio was looking up at him from the floor now, unable to rise since Jefferson's knee was shoved into the small of his back. "Benny." The name was meant to calm and reassure. 

She crossed her arms. Jefferson looked to be enjoying his work. He had his hands on the man's buttocks now, quite large hands that looked larger next to that ass, and had dipped his head down to lick rather wetly along the officer's shoulder. She'd been told Jefferson had a particular hatred for police officers. 

He bit at the shoulder and left marks. Evidently she had been correctly informed. 

"Stop it! What can this prove? Stop it!" Fraser's vocabulary was failing him, and when Jefferson pulled Vecchio back up on his knees, the normally \- so she understood - reserved man began screaming incoherently. His friend on the floor had gone pale and dead-eyed, and was panting from the blow Jefferson had landed on his right kidney. 

She held up her hand, and there was silence, except for Vecchio gasping some and squirming around on the floor. Even he got the message a few seconds later, and stopped, looking up at her with those dead eyes. 

"Feel free to take his place, Mr. Fraser." 

That got Vecchio talking again. "You fucking bitch!" 

"Ray -" 

"Don't even think about it, Benny." 

She looked at Jefferson, pursing her lips slightly, and his hand covered that big mouth, pressing his rear, she noted, into the man's crotch. 

She looked over at Fraser again. He seemed to need to work his mouth before he could speak. 

"What expression of love are you looking for today, Ms Socks?" 

Her eyes flicked down, then back up. After all, if she needed to have Vecchio raped, he would still be...available for the next round. 

But Fraser figured it out and dropped to his knees, his eyes saying plainly, *You own me. You own me.* She knew he hadn't even fully realized he'd lost his own towel. 

"I want you to be sure to get your sleep tonight." She nodded at Addams, ignoring Jefferson's look of disappointment, then walked out. She had two calls to place before dinner. 

Ray wouldn't meet Fraser's eyes. Bent-nose let him up, and he retrieved his towel, only to have it jerked out of his hands. Then he and Benny were simply shoved through the door into the cold, white room with its little mattress and old brown blanket. A crumpled MacDonald's bag was tossed in - both men wondered who'd been hiding it in a pocket - and the door swung shut. 

"Ray -" 

The detective backed away, looking at the floor and turning his shoulder to Benny. The livid bite mark, the other bruises, the cut of fingernails on that olive skin. Pale, square hands that seemed to Fraser rudely unmarked, unbruised, reached for Ray, shaking and desperate. 

"Back off, Benny." The words would have reassured Fraser if they'd been hissed or grunted in simple anger, but they were only whispered. God, his stomach hurt and his body ached and he was going to lose his mind. Somehow, he couldn't stop thinking of a trip through the northern woods over Ray's back, singing and talking about food and never a single complaint about the burden he had become. 

"I said back off!" Ray was hissing now, and looked ready to strangle him. 

Benny wrapped his arms around himself. "I'm sorry, but it's like with you and my toes and fingers. I need to touch you." 

"What? You wanna touch my ass?" 

Benny closed his eyes before Ray could see the answer to that question. How had she known this would destroy them? Ray could never want his touches now, not even those simple touches that had passed between them before. She'd forced them together, even if that hadn't been her intention, but now she knew this would force them to part. And he thought Victoria had been smart to take Ray's back-up gun. 

He was chanting. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry..." 

"Sorry for what, Fraser?" Ray was suddenly in his face, the face half-flushed over that stark paleness. His cheek was bruised, his eyes two open wounds. 

"I couldn't stop them." 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You *did* stop them! You got down on your knees and let her know you'd do anything, just like she wanted! God, Benny! Don't you realize she knows she's got you?" 

"Unlike the way she knows she has you, Ray?" 

"I never got down on my knees!" 

"You bowed to her! And you lost consciousness before you let yourself straighten up again!" 

"She had a meat cleaver!" 

"She was going to have you raped!" 

"You should have let her!" 

Benny stared at him, horror, bewilderment, refusal, rage, sorrow - 

Ray turned away again, and seemed ready to walk through the wall. "You're gonna die in here with me, now, Fraser. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" 

"Did you think before this that I was going to leave you here?" 

"I just thought you had some sense, Fraser!" 

"Look at me, Ray." 

But Ray didn't move, just kept staring at the wall. He was shaking, and Fraser could no longer count the dark marks of violence on his body. He felt the hysterical urge to kiss Ray all over simply by tracing each bruise with his lips and tongue, taking away everything, drawing every memory of this place from his body and mind and replacing it with... 

With what? What had he to offer Ray anymore, but a friendship forever shadowed by the hot memory of a hand on him, bringing him relief? A favor, in the end, just another favor Ray had done him after all, another act of selfless kindness, and another act for which Ray would be made to pay. 

It had felt like this with Victoria, a little. But then, as now, he wouldn't get a second chance. Ms Socks had seen to that. 

And suddenly Fraser realized he didn't care, just as he hadn't cared when Victoria had betrayed him, or rather, just as he had continued to want her, to *require* her even after he'd known what she was. His friendship with Ray might be in shreds, but he would take those shreds and paste them back together if he could, or keep them separate. He would take whatever he could, and he still had a few tricks left. 

"Please look at me, Ray." 

The tall, lean, battered body shuddered, but he waited without speaking again. Finally, Ray turned and looked at him, expecting...what? Another blow? Something like his father gave him when he "got out of line"? 

Benny raised his hand, slowly, as he would to a wild deer, or as he had to Dief, when they were still getting to know each other. By inches, he let his hand go to that wounded face and gently, faintly touch his cheek, prickly with stubble. Ray's eyes seemed enormous. 

"We can't blame each other for the way we feel, Ray." Damn. He'd meant to say something better than that. "You are to blame for nothing." No, that wasn't it either. "I need you, Ray." Well, that was probably the best he could do. 

"I can't let her do this to you, Benny." 

"She's doing it to both of us, Ray." 

He's managed to find something right to say after all. Ray sagged, but his eyes were human again, and looked at the bed. 

"I feel a hundred years old, Benny." 

"That sounds about right, Ray." 

And Ray smiled, a little blessing, a shred that was still more than anyone else had ever given him, and they walked to the mattress and got under the blanket, settling into each other's loose embrace, suddenly shivering in the heat and pressing their bodies close. 

Benny closed his eyes, guiltily savoring it. When would he have a chance to hold a naked Ray against his body again? That amazing heat, and everything slim and strong and somehow delicate too, like the elegant arch of Ray's slim brows over those sea-green eyes all balanced out by his nose. Did Ray know the pieces of his face were all extremes that balanced themselves out into beauty? It was such a better type of beauty than Benny's own clean-cut and ordinary features. He saw the way women dismissed Ray when they first saw him, their shallowness and lack of aesthetic sophistication denying them the discovery of the extraordinary handsomeness that was Ray Vecchio. 

He shifted, listening to the somewhat determined quality of Ray's quiet, even breaths. His hand lingered on Ray's shoulder, and he saw behind his closed eyes not only the blood-lit light of the cold, white room, but also those other hands on Ray's body, hurting him as no one should ever be hurt, forcing him, forcing them both...and yet, as so often happened, Ray was the one who paid for Benny's experience. How many suits had been ruined in garbage bins? How many injuries sustained? Sometimes, he was almost grateful Ray had shot him, just to even the score. 

"Even Steven," he murmured, half-asleep now. 

"Mph? What?" Ray was stirring. "You call me Steve again, Benny?" 

"No, Ray. Go to sleep." 

The detective muttered something more, seemed to drift off, then jerked suddenly stiff, his eyes bearing down into Fraser's. The light caught itself up in the sparse hair on Ray's head and shattered. 

"Benny? What's -" He blinked, stared. 

"Ray?" 

Ray closed his eyes, lowered his head, then turned away. "Sorry, Benny. Just...forgot." 

Fraser's hands were on Ray's back. "I'm so sorry, Ray." 

"Stop saying that, Benny. Like you said, it's happening to both of us." 

"Can I kiss you, Ray?" 

"What?" The lean muscles had gone rigid under his hands. 

"Just here, on your shoulder, where...he bit you, Ray." 

Ray laughed, sort of. "Yeah, he bit me, Benny." Then he gasped quietly as soft -- as if they weren't human, or real -- soft and gentle lips pressed onto his shoulder, and the pain disappeared for a moment, like magic. And even when the ache came back, it didn't matter as much. He shuddered, sighed, held on. 

"Ray?" 

"Do that again, Benny." 

Willingly, eagerly, Benny bent his head to the task, lingering, but not making it lewd, never for a moment wishing to give anything that would remind Ray of those hands on him. If he felt it enough when he touched Ray's skin, could it be a substitute for whatever it was Ray really needed and Benny couldn't provide? 

He had moved on now to other marks, other signs of what Ray would do for him, the angry graffiti of violence that had no place on this gentle man, kissing, using his tongue, never nibbling, never sucking hard, barely trailing other touches with his fingertips, wishing for the skill to be gentle enough to tame a wild spirit, and to encourage that wildness. He'd thought before, hadn't he, alone in his room, of what Ray's passion for life would be like expressed in kisses and touches? 

This little white room, frozen and unyielding, had become their whole world. In the morning, she would return and cast them out, and there would never be again the chance for this moment. As with his selfish dive into Victoria's arms, he sought his own pleasure here, each calmed shiver a peak of ecstasy, each time Ray seemed to enjoy what he did a tiny little orgasm. 

The flesh between his legs never stirred. Let it have the memory of a warm hand caring for it while the water beat down. He would no more press his arousal on Ray now than he would have joined in the rape. He was still as yet only kissing his friend's shoulders, his fingers trailing low, erasing those rough, ignorant hands. 

"Ohhhhh," Ray breathed out. "Benny. God. Benny." 

It became essential that he kiss Ray's chest now, and with a few touches he rolled Ray on his back, not daring a look into his face, not seeking permission when that would require Ray to make a choice. 

No, let this all be his own idea. 

He didn't even dare to approach the base of his throat, his nipples, his stomach. His lips brushed only the expanse of skin over his shoulders, his pectoral muscles, the tuft of hair - soft and springy and smelling of Ray's salt and a trace of that soap - over his heart. His fingers played along the insides of his arm, amazed at the softness of his skin stretched over defined muscle and sharp, lean bone. 

He reached for the far shoulder, just breathing in the scent off that impossibly long neck, and felt something more impossible against his leg. 

He sat half-up, choking out Ray's name, looking into Ray's face to be certain he had been wrong, that somehow he hadn't felt arousal pressed against his thigh. 

Ray's eyes were dark, heavy-lidded, almost unseeing. His mouth was open and slack with panting. Long, elegant fingers reached for him, then slid away, defeated. 

"Ray?" 

"Benny. Please. God. Please don't stop." 

Only then could he look down. Ray was so bare, so unprotected, and yet his dark length seemed stronger, and infinitely more exotic than his own pale organ. He thought, somewhat incoherently, that he wanted to sketch out the lines of that flared head, the eager, unashamed, naked way it begged for his touch. 

God. *His* touch. 

Gentle again, approaching a new wildness his partner had revealed, even if only in desperation, he touched the smooth side of him, tracing the faint outline of a vein. So different from his own blatant purple veins, under his foreskin. The hint of red blushed at his touch, deepened into rose, and his mouth watered. 

"Benny." Ray's voice broke on the soft rasp. 

And then there was only madness, more powerful than any storm of the mind. He knew he should only touch, lightly, that Ray's wildness needed reassurance and strength. But selfishness had taken over again, and he could think of nothing but Ray's imagined cries of pleasure and his name becoming reality. 

And yet there was nothing forced in the touch of Benny's lips to that swollen, taut skin. His tongue darted over the curve of his cockhead as though his life would be forfeit to an uncouth caress. 

"Benny! Oh, God!" Narrow hips flexed, were restrained, bucked. 

"Did I hurt you, Ray?" 

"No. No. God." 

"Is this what you like, Ray? Is this any good? I want you to feel good." 

Ray laughed, and there was a trace of reality in it. "Whatever you want, Benny. Just don't stop." 

"But what would you like me to -" 

"Suck me." 

Benny's body was fire, freezing a second later, wanting more heat. 

"Say it again, Ray. Please!" 

"Suck me." Ray gulped in air. "Please. Suck me - Oh God!" 

Fraser slid the length of him inside, incapable of taking anything less than all of it. Ray's cock was grotesquely uncomfortable, enormous in his mouth. He didn't care, and he couldn't wait for his body to catch up with his mind and get used to it. His heart would measure the difference, and his soul would make it up. 

He sucked, hard, devouring, lost now in the sensation of it, lost in the ideal of making Ray come down his throat, the symbol in the idea of redemption gained through such physical, tangible means. If Ray gave him this, he would have it forever, because that's the way Ray gave things. 

His hands moved over Ray's chest, curling to settle like starfish, finding perch after so long a time being tossed by the sea. Ray was moaning words to warn him, and his excitement spiked. He could have this. He could actually have this. 

And Ray came, and he drank in the knowledge of it until that beloved body lay lax beneath him. Gentle hands in his hair pushed him away from the overly sensitive flesh, and a hoarse, relaxed voice called his name. 

It was all validated now. Every fumbling caress, every misread feeling, every wanton look from women who didn't know him and didn't care about him, even...but no, he didn't have to think her name now: it was all something now that had led him to this moment. He could be glad of it all, even. Now. 

He slid up, taking the boneless body in his arms. "Thank you, Ray," he whispered against the hot skin over his chest. "Thank you. Thank you." 

Ray laughed, as though they were home in bed. "Thank you kindly yourself, Benny." 

"Ray." Kisses were dragged lightly through the swirl of hair. "Ray." The green eyes were drooping in exhaustion, yet he wasn't surprised to feel a light fumbling over his stomach, then lower. Ray's eyes opened in concern at what they didn't find. 

"Benny?" 

"Shhhhh. I didn't want to, Ray. Not this time." 

The touch became a caress over his flank, and Fraser shivered, causing Ray's mouth to turn up in a knowing smile. Then grief threatened. 

"I should be able to say it's your turn next, Benny." 

"I only want to hear that I pleased you, Ray." 

Ray got his smile to come back, faintly. "More than anything, Benny." 

He put his head down again on Ray's chest, relaxing a bit more with each heartbeat. She would kill them tomorrow, but this had happened, had become indisputable fact. Everything in his life validated as a step to this place and time. 

"Sleep, Ray." 

A warm hand soothed the hair back from his face, and he felt Ray nod. 

"Whatever you say, Benny." 

@@@ 

They tried, but it was a long night, and too cold for deep sleep, perfect for an hour snatched between little starts, reaching for each other, doing nothing more than holding each other, because there was nothing else, and perhaps because they had wanted to reach for the other so many times before. 

They waited until sometime in the middle of the night, knowing they would soon be hungry again, and were in fact only hungrier after they fished the cheeseburgers out of the greasy sack and swallowed them down, and they could not speak with so many things not to be spoken of: no talk of the future, of love, of choices or of being forced. 

Fraser bit back a dozen times the plea that Ray save himself tomorrow, run to the station and never return, leave him here happy in the knowledge that Ray was safe. Ray looked ready to speak a few times as well, and still hesitated right before he would lay down at Benny's side. He let himself think about the possibility of surviving this, and knew that his permission to touch his friend's body would not survive with them. 

He fought the need to make the most of this time as possible, keeping his hands as still as he could. When he would sleep, however, he would awaken to find his body wrapped around Ray like kudzu. If Ray were deeply asleep, he would lightly press his nose against that hot skin and breath him in. Once, he stroked over the surprisingly soft bristle of his hair. If Ray were stirring awake as well, Benny would slide his hands back from any place too familiar, and if Ray ever felt the change of temperature on his body, he never said anything. 

Fraser was more than little shocked at himself. He was used to being out of touch with his feelings, but he thought he had a good idea of their basic content. That long, sleep-starved night he stuttered from waking dreams to half-sleeping visions and back, outraged, aroused, frightened, fascinated, wanting more and wanting to run and wanting, wanting, wanting. 

It was all Ray. Every vision was of Ray, smiling across at him from memory, spread out beneath him from fantasy, touching him in both. He had swallowed so many times, seeking the faintest taste of Ray in his mouth, his throat was sore and dry. He thirsted for Ray, hungered, ached... 

Only once had he awoken hard, pressing into Ray's hip. His friend hadn't moved, and he'd gotten himself under control as quickly as he could. He didn't know if Ray had been awake. He hoped not. 

But he welcomed the dreams, the desires, the longing, even the pain of it: whatever would keep him from dwelling on the future, when he was tied to some chair staring at a chain saw or an axe and waiting for Ray to return to save him, praying he wouldn't, knowing he would. 

After that, it would probably be two bullets through the head and some sort of efficient burial where they wouldn't be found for decades. 

But thinking of Ray made that fact melt away in the scent and silk of his hot skin. 

He raised himself up at last and watched the flutter of light sleep over Ray's eyes. He had managed to stay under for more of the night than he had expected, his police officer training allowing him the sleep he needed to do today's job. 

Green eyes, shadowed with regret, opened and watched him. 

"Can I kiss you, Ray?" 

A fine hand, pale as porcelain, raised to his face, traced the outline of his lips. Benny knew he was shaking, knew he mustn't suck those fingers into his mouth. 

"I don't think I could take it, Benny." 

Fraser closed his eyes, ashamed of his selfishness. 

"I don't want to be thinking about kissing you when I'm out there. I don't want to think about touching you, or having you...I just need to think about you as my buddy, okay?" 

Blue eyes opened this time, bright with heat. 

"Understood, Ray." 

Ray withdrew his hand, but bit his lip. Fraser stopped breathing. 

"Benny...if we weren't here, or, if we were but we were safe, or even if Dief was here, keeping an eye on the door, what would you let me do to you?" 

The Mountie smiled. "Anything, Ray." 

The lean body shivered, but Ray's eyes didn't seem pleased. 

"If we were safe, would you want to do anything to me, Ray?" 

Ray closed his eyes, then opened them, trying to figure it out, knowing only one thing. 

"I've never been this scared, Benny. I don't know what 'safe' means anymore. I can't imagine it. I don't know what else I feel but scared. And so when I think about 'us,' I just feel scared more. I don't know if it's because she'd chop us into little pieces to feed the lawn and not care, or if it's because the thought of losing you is like some sort of Vecchio special hell, or because I know what it would mean for us if other people really thought we were screwing around. I only know I'm terrified, Benny. I can't think farther than that." 

"It doesn't scare you to think about our friendship, does it, Ray? It shouldn't." Benny was looking at him now as gravely as he must have looked while giving his Mountie oath. "I'll always be your friend, Ray, no matter what else happens." 

"But you want more from me than friendship." 

"I want only what you want to give me, Ray. I always have." 

He closed his eyes and kept them that way. He couldn't process this now. He'd never understood why Benny wanted to be his friend. Wanting to be his lover was simply too weird. Was the guy really that lonely? How could he be when every woman in Chicago wanted him? How did a guy \- Canadian or not - stand before a smorgasbord and then beg for table scraps? 

He'd saved Benny's life, and Benny was grateful. He'd saved him from the shears and the cleaver and he was overwhelmed and confused. When it came to sex and love, Fraser never did have his head on straight. Right now the guy was probably just so glad he wasn't Victoria he'd probably marry him. 

Shit. One Victoria in his date book and he'd probably be asking Huey out for Chinese and a hump-hump behind the dumpster. 

God. Benny had sucked his cock. He couldn't think about that now, and he couldn't stop thinking about it. He'd never had it so good, not even when he'd been in love with his wife had he come like that. 

Ange. He still loved her. And maybe she could do him one more favor before the end. Maybe she was something better than sex for him to give Benny before he was running all over town doing singing telegrams. He knew he had to give Benny something, and a kiss was out. 

"Fraser, I never told you why Ange and me broke up." 

There. Look at those Mountie eyes go soft, Vecchio. That had been the right thing to say. Count yourself not a complete waste for at least a good five minutes. 

"No, Ray. But I never wanted to pry -" 

"Shhh. Let me just say it, okay? I'm not sure we got time for it as it is." 

"Yes, Ray." 

"Me and Ange, we had our problems, right from the start, but we knew who we were, and we knew who the other person was. I never had anybody before Ange who never, not once, was fooled by something I said. I loved that about her. I mean, Pop was always telling me what a disappointment I was, and then everyone else in my family expects me to do everything \- not that I mind, you understand - and then here was this beautiful woman who knew I was full of it and didn't care. I could relax around her, you know? I never had to prove myself to her. 

"And it was heaven, really, in a lot of ways. We had our problems with the usual, when to have kids, how to spend money - she was always picky about money, never liked the way I'd blow it on things. But that wasn't what did us in. None of the little things we fought about really mattered. 

"The killer was the thing we didn't talk about, because there's no way to tell someone when..." God, he wanted to wait this part out a bit, but surely it was morning by now. Benny probably knew the exact time. He didn't want to ask. 

"It was small things at first. I'd be talking about chasing some guy, and I'd say that I ran out in traffic and almost got hit, and her eyes would narrow, or she'd smile. I'd talk about how I helped out on some case, had an insight the others missed, desperate for a little praise, a pat on the back, and she'd nod and make a little smug face." 

"God, Fraser. I started to hate that smug face. I actually asked her, a lot, to stop making it. So then I started hating her I'm-not-being-smug face. I even told her I needed praise, and she tried, she really did try, Fraser. She complimented my driving, told me I was handsome, told me I was a good cop. 

"But it wasn't praise I wanted, Benny. I wanted something you just can't ask for, and when I fell in love with her I was so happy she wasn't disappointed in me I didn't notice...that she had no expectations to begin with." 

Fraser was silent, his eyes now showing the warmth of sympathy and the pain of empathy. 

"She didn't...she wouldn't..." 

"Believe in you, Ray?" 

He couldn't believe Benny understood so easily. Hell. Everyone believed in Benny. 

"Yeah. I felt like some selfish bastard who didn't know a good thing when he found it, but I wanted more than just someone who still loved me when I messed up. I wanted someone who'd believe my way might be better." 

Benny was staring and at him, eyes pleading. 

"What?" 

"I wish...I wish you'd let me kiss you, Ray." 

"Aw, geeze, Benny. I'm not made of steel." 

"I'm sorry, Ray." 

They felt it, together. Perhaps the draught from the door opening, or just the way she seemed to suck the heat from the air around her. They were sitting up, beneath the blanket, as she walked in, two men with her, one of them Bent-nose, holding his clothes in a neat little pile, the other Little-nose holding Benny's. She nodded but the men did nothing more than put the clothes on the floor. 

"Get dressed, then you can have breakfast and piss." She left, and the men followed, but the door wasn't shut. 

Cold cheeseburger burned Fraser's stomach as they were marched to the room with the table and doubtlessly some new cutting implement. God, he couldn't take it this time. Would Ray forgive him if now, just now, he asked him to leave and not come back? 

But the room was empty of all but Ms Socks and her shadows, and when he was blinking in confusion, he was thrust suddenly forward, stumbling against the wall, slamming down over his shoulders so that his sleep-deprived, starvation-weak body buckled to the ground. When Ray didn't shout, he looked up, desperate in fear, to see a gun down Vecchio's mouth as he was shoved backwards, out of the room through a door he hadn't seen used before. 

The door closed, and he could see nothing, feel nothing. 

"Get up, Mr. Fraser." 

He stood, and awaited instructions. She spoke of the van, of blindfolds, of his going into a pharmacy on Clarring with the false prescription she held out and attempting to purchase painkillers. He felt the sweat gather over his scalp, took the slip of paper, nodded, agreed. Two hours to get arrested at that pharmacy and no other, two hours to confess after his Miranda that he needed the drugs for his lover, Ray Vecchio. Two hours, or things were going to be done to Ray he couldn't hear, blocking it all out except his duties. 

She waited. 

"Understood." 

Ray was the hostage. All along had this been the plan? Or was it seeing Benny on his knees that had made Ms Socks realize the resources at her disposal? He looked at her, waiting for the signal to leave, knowing she could tell him to kneel, stand, kiss her, kill himself to save Ray, and he'd do it. 

*Ray, forgive me.* He would do whatever she wanted, including posting his bail with the money she gave him, and return here hoping for nothing more than to be killed before Ray was, so he wouldn't have to watch, wouldn't have to know. If she had it done quickly, he wouldn't even have a chance to feel the certainty of lost hope. He could pretend to the last second there might be a reprieve, a chance to have a future again, when he might be able to lure Ray back out again on some wild chase, some non-regulation case, some stolen moment, somewhere, when he could finally kiss him. 

She nodded, and he ran down the hall, jumped into the van, closed his eyes as a blindfold was slipped into place, and let himself be cuffed. He felt like pulling his arms back and forth, making bruises, perhaps drawing blood. 

Two hours to be arrested and confess, then the hours until bail, and he might see Ray again. 

They stopped the van and shoved him out on the street a mile from Clarring, two miles from the pharmacy. He had only the money for bail, none for the taxi. He was too debilitated to run, but a steady walking pace would put him there within thirty minutes. 

Automation put his head up. It was quite early in the morning, and the air was as crisp as it got in the city, and he should be enjoying being outside, at least appreciating the ability to move for more than a few feet in one direction. But the air was ash on his tongue and dust in his lungs. Every step seemed to be taking him farther from Ray, not closer. 

And, for the life of him he couldn't say why, but something was wrong. 

Well, obviously, many things were wrong. He was about to commit a crime, and then give false testimony. He was about to get himself disgraced and killed and he had no idea who wanted this to happen. 

Why hadn't she tied Ray down? Where were the scissors? Where was the *specific* threat she'd always made so very carefully plain before she demanded obedience? 

As though there were a chance, a thought, that he might not obey her. That gun in Ray's mouth was the most obscene thing he had ever seen. 

Why had he been hurt when he'd been separated from Ray? She was usually so methodical, so cold. Why that rashness? What was the hurry? 

Half a mile eaten up. One fourth of the way to the pharmacy. He fingered the paper in his pocket, feeling it calm the little fear so that terror could flow unimpeded through his body. 

What had it looked like from Ray's point of view? He'd been on the ground, looking for all the world as though he were the victim. 

His right leg was cramping up. Too much fear, too little exercise. No money to grab something to eat on the run. 

On the run. 

Why get himself arrested now? Now, after all these days? He would have done this before, perhaps even more easily days ago when he could have convinced himself it wouldn't mean their eventual deaths. 

What had it looked like from Ray's point of view? 

If she had wanted to turn the tables, why bungle it like that? 

He had come to a halt, and he stared at his feet in outrage. They somehow seemed to stare back. 

Ray would have believed Benny was still the hostage when he saw him on the floor. 

God, were they both out here? 

Was that why she had worked so hard to own them? Was that why she had to *know* they couldn't resist? 

Had the whole issue of homosexuality only been raised because it would shake them, make them mistrust each other? Ms Socks had to have known they weren't intimate. Had he and Ray been brainwashed these past few days? 

Well, obviously, they had been brainwashed, but had the brainwashing, not the training itself, been the point? Was he supposed to do this without thinking, because thinking meant he - meant they might figure it out? 

If Ray were outside, if Ray figured it out as well, where would Ray go? 

He tried to get his feet moving again. A man with a briefcase scowled past him. The city was waking up. There would be a nice crowd at the pharmacy to witness his arrest. Only then would he save Ray... 

To be killed. Obedience was death. Disobey, and there was a chance either for guilt that would break him, or...impossibly...life. 

Ray wouldn't go to the station. He'd want to stay mobile. He wouldn't want to answer a lot of questions. The Vecchio house was also crossed off the list. Even without his family there, superstitious Ray wouldn't expose his house like that. Benny's apartment was a probability, but there were so many people there, and with the police doubtlessly looking for both of them...no. 

The Consulate. Not inside, but outside, where no one would be looking for them. 

His feet still wouldn't move. *Choose,* he ordered them. Choose and die for certain or risk a fate worse than death and just maybe save Ray. 

*Choose, * even though his dreams would forever remind him of a meat cleaver and those filthy hands on Ray's body. *Choose.* 

His feet turned. He had been walking the wrong way. On the curb, he held up a hand for a taxi. It wouldn't matter if he spent the money now. If he were wrong, there were many free ways to kill himself. 

The entire drive to the Consulate he pleaded with himself to go back. When the taxi glided to a stop at the corner, he almost ran out the door rather than hand over some of his precious bail money. When, after his first furtive look around, he could see no sign of Ray, he almost closed his eyes and walked out into traffic. 

The Consulate looked appallingly normal. There was even Constable Turnbull at sentry post, staring straight ahead, doing well the one duty he could do well. 

Why couldn't Ms Socks have decided that he and Turnbull were lovers? 

He took point behind the dumpster and waited, committed to it, standing guard along with Turnbull over nothing more than his own ill-formed paranoid hunch. Ray was the one with hunches. 

Ray. Just thinking the name hurt. 

*Forgive me, Ray.* And it was a prayer like the one he had made ten years ago. *Forgive me. It was all I knew to do.* The clock chimed, and one of his hours was gone. But it was too late already. He would stay here until the blue-bleak embers of his excuses crumpled to dark, flat gray. 

And yet Ray would forgive him. Ray always did. Besides, he would have appreciated this. Even if he were completely wrong, Ray would approve. 

Oh God. If Ray were even now tied to a chair and staring at her instrument of torture, would he think Benton Fraser had left him to die? Would he believe -- 

*Forgive me, Ray. God, please forgive me.* 

"Heya, Benny." 

"Ray!" 

There was a sort of *whoosh,* and then two strong Mountie arms had wrapped around him, a shoulder shoved up under his nose, his ribs protesting the strain, his back bent under the pressure, and Fraser was trembling and completely unmindful of the fact that they were practically out in the open here. Turnbull could probably see them. 

He wrapped his arms around Benny and hugged back, and in all honesty there wasn't anything in the whole world for a few minutes there but knowing he'd been right, that having Benny punched in the stomach wasn't the same as having him tied to a chair, and that there'd been a reason for the sudden change in the program. The part about meeting at the Consulate, well, that was obvious. Finding the right look-out place on the first shot, that was just luck. 

Or God forgiving him at last. 

"Benny, we gotta get off the street." 

But Fraser's eyes weren't focusing correctly, and Ray settled for dragging him farther back behind the dumpster, which meant a few steps more brought them to the alley. He shot a look back at Turnbull, who was still doing the signpost thing, and then hustled them down and away. 

"We have to find some place to think things through for a while, Benny." 

"Think?" The deep voice was faint and almost ready to break. 

"You okay, Fraser?" 

"I thought I was wrong, that I was leaving you to die." 

"Well, the same thought crossed my mind about a billion times, Benny." They came out the other end of the alley and Ray looked around. They'd gone towards Benny's place, which meant the neighborhood was already turning into something out of a rap song. He had three thousand dollars in his pocket - the bail needed for first-time-cop-offender-types who assaulted other police officers in broad daylight, screaming "Where is my lover? What did you do to Benny?" at the top of their lungs. 

He didn't try to explain things to Benny. He didn't trust himself to talk, anyway. He just walked up two blocks, turned left, and trotted down the last three. People were giving them funny looks, but Vecchio chalked that up to that fact that he had the scraggly beginnings of a beard and even Fraser was showing some stubble. Their clothes were clean, but rumpled, and there was doubtlessly a wild look in their eyes. He felt wild, at any rate, and murderous. Benny looked...poor guy, he'd been through the ringer, and for once it showed. 

But he couldn't really think about Benny right now, not as a person or his friend, only as someone who needed help. He needed help too, but first, damnit, they had to get off the street. 

He swerved into the dump-hole flop-house on Gardner he wouldn't usually go into with backup, and pulled out one of those old-style hundreds from his pocket, nice and crumpled. He even managed to leer at Fraser when he was passing it over to the guy behind the bullet-proof glass. Toothless didn't blink, and he got the honeymoon suite, sans private bath. They were told to return the key - for which Ray left a ten dollar deposit \- to the front desk, or leave it in the slot when they checked out. 

Ray gave the guy a toothy grin, leered at Fraser once more, took the sheets, and stepped up the stairs. Benny followed. 

The room was a lot like the white room they'd left behind, except that the tiny little mattress wasn't on the floor and there was a TV in the corner, on top of a small chest of drawers the looked like the rat family considered it a family legacy. There were also two dead bolts and a chain for the door, which Ray did up with hands that were starting to shake. 

He couldn't even turn from the door before Fraser's hands were on him, drawing him back into an embrace so warm and solid and real he almost went into some sort of trance. 

He pushed back and away. "Benny, we gotta talk." 

"I have no intention of raping you, Ray." 

He whirled around, staring into Benny's eyes and smelling disinfectant. "I didn't think you did. I just think we need to talk. Don't you? Or has some of sort of crazy gene suddenly unrecessed in your DNA?" 

"We do need to talk, Ray." 

"Well!" Vecchio threw up his hands in jubilation. "Thank God we agree on that one, Fraser! I was afraid I was gonna have to turn on Oprah to hear someone babbling about recent abuse!" 

"You came to the Consulate, Ray." 

"Yeah, Benny. I noticed that." 

"I thought I'd killed you." 

"I was kinda worried you were headed for the Great Beyond too there." 

"I thought I'd cursed you." 

Ray blinked. 

"Run that by me again." 

"I thought, first Victoria, and now -" 

"Damnit, don't mention me in the same breath as that bitch, Benny!" 

Fraser blinked. 

"I'm sorry, Ray." 

"You damn well should be. I love you, Benny. You think she did? I know she thinks she did, that asking you to be with her equals love. I know better. You think I don't, when I risked everything and gave you everything and *don't you touch me!*" 

"Ray..." 

"You don't know, Benny. You got no idea what happens to men on the force when they come out of the closet. Every guy and the women too, Fraser. It's like you got some sort of adult cooties and AIDS and everything else perverted you can have. You want that in your life, huh? You want the women who throw themselves at you to think you got a disease? 'Cause you keep this up and that's what life's gonna be." 

"Ray..." 

"Stop saying my name like that! We're out and we're free and we gotta figure out what the hell that was all about, Fraser! I mean, is Ms Socks something left over from the last episode of *The X-Files,* or was she just born that way? And what was kidnapping us just to set us free supposed to do? And stop looking at me like that!" 

The big-eyed Mountie look was suddenly the glassy-eyed Moutie look. "You want us to be the way we were before, is that what you're saying, Ray?" 

"What does our relationship matter right now, Benny?" 

God, the hurt look on that face. Why hadn't he just taken out a gun (which he didn't have right now) and shoot the poor bastard? This was Benny Fraser, who'd run after a train for the sake of love - no, make that Love, with a capital "L." 

God, Benny was offering him Love. 

Love, from Benny. 

"When you come back to yourself, Benny, you'll regret settling for some loud-mouthed scam-artist whose biggest asset is good taste in cars. Yeesh. Elaine deserves you more than I do." 

"You're alive, Ray." 

"Yeah, Benny." 

"I didn't kill you, Ray." 

"Benny. God. Stop it." 

Fraser obediently stood there silently, only his eyes pleading. 

Since when had he needed anything more than his eyes? 

"Benny, it's my life you're talking about, and your life too." 

"Could it just be for the next hour or so, Ray?" 

"Benny, what the hell? I...do you talk to...shit." 

Fraser blanched. Ray felt like dirt. 

What else was he supposed to do? He put his hands on his shirt, undid the top button, exposing an inch of his scrawny body. Maybe a last roll in the hay would get Benny thinking straight. 

Large warm hands covered his, stilling him. He looked up into those eyes that undid him completely. 

"I love you, Ray." 

God, Benny had said it again, and there was no need. 

Was he supposed to go to hell for feeling this way? No. Would people think that? Yes. His life sucked enough. What would Ma say? He didn't need to add this, especially since Benny would only snap out of it and pull away from him, and then where would he be? 

*Hey, Benny. You need a ride to the Consulate? Sure thing. Want me to help you on this case? Sure! Hey, you wanna ever let me make sweet love to you again until my brain - what? Oh, you've gotten over that now and don't wanna talk about it ever again? You wanna do the Dragon Lady while I hold your coat and talk about what a stud you are? Oh, hey. What are friends for?* 

But right now he was standing in a cheap hotel room with his hands on his shirt button and Benny's hands on his. Right now for some reason unknowable Benny wanted him. And the bed here was safe. Oh, God. Safe. 

"We're alive, Benny." 

Fraser nodded. He'd never seen his eyes so huge. And both of them looked so bad. They needed shaves and showers and new clothes and something to eat. Both of them must be starving. 

"Did you hear me, Benny? We're alive." 

"I'm only alive when you touch me, Ray." 

"Oh, geeze! You talk to Victoria like this?" 

"No, Ray. If I had, maybe...but I'm glad I didn't. I'd rather be with you, Ray." 

And the Pope would just have to forgive him, and his mother too, and any other narrow-minded...Benny was panting through his mouth. 

Damn. He'd been able to keep from thinking of any of this when they were just friends. If Benny had looked really good in his casual clothes, or in that dress reds uniform, well, he was a guy. He'd resisted more than most people had, hadn't he? And he wasn't made of steel. Ange had seen that well enough, and she still hadn't known him well enough to stay married to him. 

But he hadn't known her well enough either, had he? He'd loved her, but had he really known her? Had he wanted to after she'd made it clear she didn't want to know him? 

Marriage didn't mean forever anymore, and he'd been glad of that, in the end. But Benny's eyes meant forever, that look imploring him to give over only everything that he was, or would ever be, like his whole life was now forfeit to Benton Fraser, RCMP. 

And when hadn't it been? He'd been in his hospital bed when he figured out who killed Benny's father, and what had a few life-threatening injuries meant to helping out a guy who was practically a stranger? 

He'd known in those first days, if not in those first minutes after Benny had pointed out that the guy selling stolen merchandise had a hole in his shoe, that whatever Fraser wanted, he'd give. He'd fought the knowledge like a wrestler, but he'd still known. If he hadn't been forced into looking at it, he could have ignored it for the rest of his life. 

But now he had to deal with the whole truth, and nothing but. He didn't just want to give what Benny needed, he wanted to give everything he had, whether Benny wanted it or not. 

Just how lonely was a guy supposed to get before he was a lost cause, and knew he'd die that way? Just when did the final chance feel like the final chance, and there was suddenly nothing but TV between himself and the quiet corner of the nursing home? So Ange didn't think he was a superhero, so what? What person would? His standards were too high, and in the end he'd had nothing but himself to blame and his dick in his hand for company. 

He'd bribed Benny every way he had to make him his friend. He'd offered up his career, his family, and finally his life. That Benny had responded by accepting his friendship was sometimes unbelievable. 

And look at him. Benny Fraser, RCMP, was waiting for his permission to make love to him. 

And it hadn't really been like that, had it? Fraser had needed him too. Like Benny needed him now. 

"Benny." What had happened to his voice? He sounded like some blues singer. "Benny, you can't do this to me. You can't offer this and take it back." 

And Benny, damn him, smiled, and undid the next button. And the next. But when his chest was exposed, the smile disappeared and his eyes misted again. 

"Ray. You're so bruised up." 

"Just ignore it, Benny." 

Benny gave him a confused look, then leaned in, offering the softest of kisses to his chest as he slid the shirt off and back and away. Then those warm, gentle hands were on his skin, gliding over his ribs, smoothing over the muscles they found, and Ray was embarrassed by a breathy moan until he realized it had come from Fraser. 

And he found that he didn't care if he didn't get to keep this - or rather, that he didn't care enough to keep himself from wrapping his fingers around it as tightly and for as long as he could. When Benny pulled away, he'd have to pull hard, he'd have to fight sheer desperation. If he didn't jump now, he'd be staring down that cliff forever, and sometimes it was better just to jump knowing you were going to busted to pieces than just stare down and feel sick and oh God, oh God, Benny was leaning up now, and staring into his eyes, asking that same question one more time. 

He left solid earth behind for the pressure of Benny's lips on his. The beautiful mouth didn't tease, didn't demand, only offered, only sought. Ray opened his mouth and felt it through his whole body as a warm, wet, unexpectedly sweet tongue slid inside to caress his own tongue, then move on to run over his teeth and tickle the roof of his mouth. Then he got his turn to explore, and the sweetness was only more intense inside. 

He'd gotten his hands inside Benny's flannel shirt and undershirt and found skin, the smooth pale skin that he'd gotten to feel when he was too scared to appreciate it, but still had been amazed by. It didn't feel like women's skin, but it sure didn't feel like a man either. It could only be Benny, and just thinking about what he was touching was getting him so excited that his pants, loose as they were, were becoming a problem. 

When Fraser pulled back, Ray almost panicked, but the Mountie was just letting go to pull his shirts off completely. When Ray could see his eyes again he was stunned by the dark blue wildness of them, stunned and now about twice as aroused as before. His hands went to take off his shoes, because somehow he remembered he needed to get rid of them before his pants would come off properly, but Benny's hands were there first, and about three seconds later he was wearing only his black jockeys and a smile he hoped to God was sexy. 

When Benny's hands went to his own clothes, Ray snapped out of it and reached forward, pushing him out of the way and pulling off his shoes and socks, then his pants and boxers in one go. His blood was buzzing fiercely, and his hands were starting to shake, but he'd figured out what was coming next before he started on the pants, and now that long, pale shaft with its pink, wet cockhead coming out of the sheath simply had to taste as good in his mouth as it looked. 

"Benny," the sweet name an appetizer. "Benny." His fingers curled around the warm sac, lifting him up as his mouth descended, tongue out to lap at the soft knob. 

"Ray." A strangled sob and his name. He looked up in concern: that strong, snow-white body, dark hair in all the right places, and deep blue eyes and his hand tightened on the soft flesh below. 

"Don't you want me to, Benny?" 

Hands reached for him, pulling him up, settling him on that broad chest, before they traced the marks on his skin. 

"Fraser, I'm all right." 

Benny moved them together, and suddenly they were united perfectly, their near-equal height letting each part of their bodies find its mate, and both of them gasped. Benny's face flushed and his eyes went round with pleasure, and Ray wanted to laugh and make Benny laugh, but suddenly all he could think of was what Benny would look like when he came. His hips thrust forward and the heat low in his belly was spreading out, filling him. Could Benny feel it? His eyes were saying all sorts of things, so it was hard to make out specifics. He kept moving, feeling his heart pound, feeling the rasp of breath in his lungs like matches striking, feeling his balls drawing up tight. 

But more than that, he felt sweetly smooth skin against his, he felt Benny's legs at his sides, stretched out and open, letting him in. He felt the need in Benny's eyes, and the firm hands on his backside, pressing him close and kneading his flesh and turning him on like crazy. He felt the coarse hair low on Benny's belly brushing his nerve-endings with every thrust. And he smelled sweat and precum so salty-sweet he had to swallow over and over to keep from drooling. Benny's jaw, hanging open for his loud, moaning breaths, suddenly snapped shut, and that poster-boy chin set. 

"Benny. Come for me, buddy. I need you to come for me while I'm watching it. God, you're so beautiful, I don't care what else happens you gotta come right here so I can see you. So beautiful, Benny. God. Do it. Do it now." 

Dilated, glazed, blinking constantly, Benny's eyes sought and found him, stared up, trusting, even as the rhythm shattered and Ray's name was shouted with each jagged, sustained thrust and warmth poured between them. Benny held it even as he shivered through aftershocks, then his body began to relax, oozing instinctive contentment, and the gorgeousness of climax softened and softened until he looked almost ethereal: an angel who'd had his belly rubbed to soothe him off to sleep. 

Ray buried his face in that pale neck and came with a muffled howl, his entire body's energy rushing together and out, a purge of all the pain of the past days, a commitment to the man beneath him, an acknowledgment by his body that after so long looking it and he had finally found... 

Benny smiled as his partner began softly to snore. They wouldn't sleep long, and then, clear-headed, they would figure out why this had been done to them. Of course, it was a dereliction of their duty that they had not set immediately to solving their case, but he was sure that even the inspector...hmmmm....perhaps he should just leave this part out of the report, considering...yes... 

@@@ 

Margaret Thatcher crossed her arms and managed to produce a small smile. 

*I am not going to kill him. I am not going to kill him.* 

Constable Turnbull's eyes shifted from his commanding officer to Ray Vecchio's commanding officer and then back again. 

"Constable," Thatcher stated. "You say you are almost certain it was Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio that you saw, but that you are positive it couldn't be Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio that you saw." 

Turnbull felt enormous relief cool his brow and straighten his spine. He had managed to make himself understood after all. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

Everyone in the office, Thatcher, Welsh, Ober, Wester, and Huey, waited. 

"Constable," Welsh said at last, grateful as hell Vecchio hadn't decided to make *this* Mountie his unofficial partner. "We don't know what that means." 

"Oh!" Turnbull seemed to deflate, then rallied. "I saw two men across the street from me while I was on guard duty." 

"Good," Welsh said, nodded. "We understand that part. Go on." 

"They were embracing." 

"Embracing?" 

"Yes." Turnbull nodded. "They were both quite...intent on the other. They said a few words which I did not hear. They were across the street, and traffic was very heavy. I wish I had Constable Fraser's skill in lip-reading, but even if I had, I was not able to see -" 

"Constable." Welsh's tone had never been more patient. 

"Yes?" 

"What made you think these two men were Detective Vecchio and Constable Fraser?" 

"They looked quite like them, sir." 

"And what makes you think they couldn't be the officers in question?" 

"Many small but extremely important things, sir." Turnbull paused, but fortunately for his continued good health, it was only to draw breath. "The man who looked like Detective Vecchio sported the beginnings of a beard, and the man who looked like Constable Fraser was also far from clean-shaven. Both of them wore wrinkled and somewhat soiled clothing, and there was a decidedly wild and seedy appearance in particular to the man who resembled the detective, and I know for a fact that Detective Vecchio is a man who takes great care in his appearance. In addition to all this, they could not be the officers in question, because they did not cross the street and seek sanctuary in the consulate, nor did they return here." 

"Which way did they go?" Thatcher asked. 

"I believe everyone is currently trying to determine that, ma'am," Turnbull answered, looking pensive. 

She sighed, bit her lip, tried again. "Which way did the two men who looked like the officers in question go?" 

"Back behind the dumpster, behind which, I believe, they met." 

Thatcher's expression became that of a person who has almost managed to get their fingers around their pen under the sofa, if only they could stretch just a bit farther without pushing the pen further out of reach. "Why do you think the men who looked like the officers in question met behind the dumpster?" 

"I believe the man who looked like Constable Fraser had been there for some time before the other unknown man appeared. I believe it was because they were hugging each other in welcome that they were propelled into view. They certainly did seem happy to see each other." Turnbull was smiling at the memory, and looked in danger of drifting off. 

"Is there anything else you can think to tell us about what you saw?" Welsh asked. 

Turnbull stared blankly, but right before Thatcher was about to dismiss him, he announced, "The man who looked like Detective Vecchio was injured." 

Welsh kept his voice deadly calm. "Injured in what way?" 

"There were discolorations on his hands and face, and he limped when he walked, and when the man who looked like Constable Fraser was hugging him, it was obvious from his expression that he was in pain, though I do not believe he told the other man this. As I said, they seemed very happy to see each other." 

"Thank you for your report, Constable." Thatcher looked towards the door. 

"Yes, ma'am." Turnbull hovered. 

"Yes, Constable?" 

"Will you be attending the Brazilian Embassy's celebration tonight, ma'am? If so, I will have the car waiting." 

"I do have to go," she said, speaking to Welsh more than to her subordinate. "The Canadian Ambassador to the UN will be going there straight from the airport." 

"I saw in the paper," Welsh responded. And she had mentioned it about twenty times, but he saw no need to bring that up. "I've even wondered if it might be connected to the business with Vecchio and Fraser." 

She shook her head. "I've already checked. Neither Fraser nor his father had any sort of contact or connection with Ambassador Braun. And I assumed that Detective Vecchio would have no reason to know him either." 

"I'll check on that." 

She seemed suddenly to realize Turnbull was still there. "Yes, Constable. Please go get the car." 

He nodded, looked around the room, nodded again and left. 

Thatcher watched him go, then made a sound very close to a growl of frustration. "If they've been held hostage, if they're hurt, if they're back together, why aren't they here?" 

"Well." The lieutenant was standing and straightening his jacket. "It is *them.*" 

@@@ 

"I'm absolutely certain, Ray. I've never had any contact with Ambassador Braun." 

"But it's the only big thing going on. No major drugs, no recent Italian imports, and nobody I busted getting out on parole or escaping." 

"I still don't know him, Ray." 

Vecchio sighed and looked back at the mess on the bed between him and Fraser. He'd bought every magazine and paper in the store, along with a mountain of plastic-packaged food, and private guy things currently sitting in a bag in the corner. First, though, he'd made a few phone calls to people who wouldn't know he was supposed to be missing, but it was just like he told Benny: nothing was going down. 

"Ray, I think it's time we accepted that the only acceptable course of action is to report to our respective superiors. It will be difficult to explain why we didn't do this immediately, but -" 

"No, damnit, Benny. I told you and you told me and we did it before we even talked it over: she wanted us arrested, she wanted us with the cops. I ain't turning us in before we figure out why." 

Ray grabbed up a paper he hadn't looked at yet, just to keep from having to look into Fraser's eyes. He shouldn't have bought something that had "Elvis' Ghost Speaks from Toaster!" printed on the front, but you never knew where a lead might come from. In fact, when he turned the page, there was yet another picture of Ambassador Braun, this time leading his daughter out of a limo. 

"Ray? What's wrong?" 

Ray looked at Fraser, then back down at the picture. 

"Ray?" 

"Give me a sec, Benny." Ray kept staring at the picture, his brow wrinkling further and further until the skin was triple-folded. Then with a grimace he smacked the paper down and looked at Benny in triumph. 

"Rave." 

"What?" 

"Rave parties. Kids do 'em now; I don't get it at all. They get together in groups and wear sleeping clothes and suck pacifiers and get drunk, and sometimes they do drugs. Sometimes, they sell 'em. And sometimes the drugs they sell and take are bad, and then rich parents have to come down to County General and ID the body." He turned the paper around and pointed at Braun's daughter. 

"She doesn't look dead, Ray." 

"No, she didn't die. Her boyfriend did, long and slow and painful, and from what I could tell, she didn't do a thing to help him." Ray's eyes were dark and his body was twitching with each little hot pop of anger inside him. "I wanted her so bad, Benny. I mean, she had to walk over him at one point to go to the john. I arrested her for negligent homicide and dealing drugs and every last thing I could. And it was open and shut, air-tight and all ready for News at Five. When the DA showed up with the social worker, I just about danced them out the door." 

"And then?" 

"And then nothing. Nada. Zip. Except a call from IA telling me I need to turn over my files and my notes and never mention any of it again. I bitched to Welsh, and he said it was federal and that was it. I asked around about it for weeks, kept my ears open for months. Nothing. I never even found out who she was." He sneered at the picture. "'Course, she's older now, and the hair's different." 

"Same nose, though?" 

"Without the nose ring, yeah." He smiled, then shook his head. "So, it's gotta be about her, then." 

"Baring an incredible series of coincidences, yes, it would." 

They looked at each other in silence for a good two minutes. 

"So, how does this help her?" 

"I have no idea, Ray. Considering how obedient, if resentful, you were when ordered not to pursue the matter officially, it seems unlikely someone would believe you would make any sort of public outcry at her appearance." 

"If I even noticed. I don't tend to read much about Canadian dignitaries." 

"No, but I do. Perhaps they felt your involvement with me would cause you to be involved as well." 

"And so what? I'm gonna run up to her in the middle of the reception and call her names? And besides, the brass would have just come after me anyway. In fact, if they were worried about it so much, why not just have the feds give me the warning?" Ray stood up in a rush and paced in cramped fury. Fraser remained on the bed. "This ain't making any sense, Benny." 

"You know, Ray, my father told me something once." 

"There's a shocker. Does it involve some sort of ancient Moutie secret?" 

Fraser considered it, then shook his head with the corners of his lips turned down. "Not really, no." 

Ray's heart thudded. God, was everything Fraser did gonna turn him on now? 

"He told me that when a man runs like a madman, he knows something you don't." 

Ray waited. 

"Well, Ms Socks wasn't running, but her motives won't make any sense until we try to see things from her perspective." 

"Fine. You find me a bum, and I'll chop his nuts off." 

"There's no need to be so defeatist, Ray. Now, we need to remember that she was not simply pretending to be unemotional, she actually was unemotional." 

"Yeah, I caught that too. She was getting paid. It was nothing personal." 

"And yet it was intensely personal, for no obvious reason. Abducting us I understand, as I do separating us from the force into a safe house and separating us from Dief. What I don't understand was her continuing to refer to our as-then non-existent romantic relationship. She acted as though she were disgusted by us as gay men, but it was clear that she didn't really care. And then there were the things like the shared shower and the mattress and the blanket..." 

"It was a head game, Benny." 

"Which would seem to suggest that she wanted us not only to be confused and desperate when we were released, but programmed." 

"You know, I'm thinking she didn't care. Either we got ourselves arrested or we turned ourselves in, the end result was the same." 

"Yes." 

Ray spread his hand out and leaned against the wall. The torn wallpaper scratched his back through his thin shirt. "And so then what? I'm looking at the ruins of my life or I'm safe back at the precinct, and *what?* Was messing with our heads just supposed to frighten us? Make me too scared to raise a fuss?" 

"Perhaps she sought to discredit us. Considering the trouble we'd be in if we were arrested, your comments regarding Ms Braun might have been dismissed." 

"But then she would have done the ax thing with you and just sent me out alone. There wasn't a need to use you, and setting us both free, it's so unnecessary! It's like she was begging me to get so mad that I -" 

They looked at each other, hearing the joined *click* that meant they had to be right. 

"She wanted me to shoot my mouth off. And she wanted all the crap that's been happening to us to validate my claims that someone was trying to shut me up." Ray was off and pacing again. "You know, I bet if we tried we could find the place they kept us at, minus Socks and friends, of course. And there's evidence of the freaky stuff she made me do - feed Dief, move the car. Hell, I wouldn't even have to shoot my mouth off to cause trouble." 

"And my statements to the inspector would only cause further trouble for the ambassador." 

Ray shot Benny an "I'm going to tell you something about myself" look and shrugged. "I'm half-tempted to do it anyway, Benny. She had no business walking." 

"Well, perhaps history is repeating itself." 

"What, you mean she was set-up before?" Vecchio thought carefully over the resources expended on dealing with him and Fraser. "I guess...it could be possible. Damnit. We still can't come in from the cold. No matter how we tell this story it's gonna start all kinds of things in motion." 

"We need to be more certain of our facts before we do anything, Ray." 

"We need Elaine." 

"We need the library." 

"We need Elaine and the library." Ray blinked. "What do we need at the library?" 

"We need to find out who could want Ambassador Braun embarrassed and perhaps forced to resign." 

"But that's what we need Elaine for." Ray sighed, frowning. "We can't get to her until she's out of the station." 

Fraser's face went suddenly earnest. "It's too bad Diefenbaker isn't here, as we could send him to fetch Elaine." 

Green eyes narrowed. "You funnin' me, Fraser?" 

"Me, Ray?" 

"Yeah." Ray's voice had gone a little husky with menace. The library was closed by now, and Elaine wouldn't be home yet to call. He swaggered a pace towards the bed. "You making one of those Canadian jokes at me?" 

"I'm sure I wouldn't know how, Ray." The Canadian in question was trembling, just slightly. 

Ray put his hands on his hips. "Well, now you gotta make it up to me, Benny." 

"How?" A pink tongue wet a pair of perfect lips. Ray thought his heart was going to thud out a hole in his shirt. 

"You gotta clean off the bed before I get in it with you." 

"Will you get in it with me, Ray?" 

Ray stretched slightly, sighing, and shrugged. "I might." 

Fraser swiveled on the bed, brought up his legs and used his feet to push the food wrappers and papers and magazines in a splatter to the floor. Guileless blue eyes looked up with a smile. 

"I cannot believe you did that, Fraser. Do you have any idea how turned on I am right now?" 

Fraser looked at his groin, turned his smile into a smirk, and whispered, "Yes, Ray." 

"Oh God." Ray ran to the bag in the corner and pulled out a tube and a box, ran back and plopped them on the nightstand, then started stripping off his clothes. Benny sat happily on the bed and watched. 

"Benny," Ray groaned as he got off the second sock, "this will go faster if you take off your clothes too." 

"Tell me something intimate, Ray." 

He paused, his hands on his belt. "What?" 

Benny swallowed and flushed and made no move towards getting undressed. "Tell me something you only tell your lovers." 

"I ain't had so many I got a list, Benny." He dropped his trousers, then moved impatiently to Fraser and pulled the flannel shirt up and off. Benny helped him with a shrug of his arms, then peeled off his own undershirt while Ray moved on to his shoes. 

"Please, Ray." 

"Help me out here, Benny." Ray got the shoes off and decided he didn't care about the socks as much as the pants. 

"What do you call your penis?" 

Ray stopped everything and just stared. Benny admired the shine of the inexpensive lamp off his newly shaven skin, noted to himself that Ray's bristle hair was getting a little long, thought smugly that that long, gorgeous nose *was* indicative of Ray's beauty elsewhere, and was then reminded of his question. 

"Well, someday when we're in the throes of passion and I want you to...do something with your penis, I want to be able to use a word that is less clinical." 

"'Cock' isn't good enough?" 

"...and less crude." 

Ray shifted his weight, sitting instead of crouching, and Fraser enjoyed the line of his leg muscles. He wondered if he could remove Ray's underwear while using only his teeth. 

"What do you call yours, Benny?" 

"I did ask you first, Ray." He had yet to be allowed to have a proper view of Ray's naked posterior, he realized, though he knew from touch it was lightly fuzzy, and even in those baggy pants it was obviously compact. 

"I call him 'Mountie-nip.'" 

Fraser's mouth dropped open. Ray was laughing. Benny had the fiercest erection he'd had since he could remember and Ray was laughing at him and thinking about how clever he was. 

"Is that right, Ray?" he asked in a smooth, calm voice. 

Ray was instantly on the alert, so Benny simply rushed him, pressing that perfect, lean, strong, willing body back on the bed and spreading his legs out with splayed hands on his thighs. 

"Is that right, Ray?" he asked again, slightly breathless now, but that was all right. He put his head right above Ray's black briefs, made sure those green eyes were on him, then dipped his head down, nipping at the prominent bulge. 

"Ahhh, God. Benny!" 

He did it again, and again, and again, until Ray's hips were squirming and his name was being gasped out with heartening regularity. He nuzzled the crease at the top of that rhythmically flexing leg and breathed in deeply. He could detect the stale fear, the fresh arousal, and then, just as he wanted, that salt-sweet tang of Ray. He opened his mouth wide and covered that cotton-covered heat, and Ray pleaded with him for more. 

The briefs went down partially with one tug of his teeth, but he had to use his hands to keep from tugging on anything he shouldn't. He kept the elastic around Ray's legs for a moment, nipping again until Ray's moans could no longer be resisted. A shift of his weight and a long pull got the underwear off, then he could spread out the other half of himself, of his future, of his life and take that naked softness inside, using his tongue to express the words anyone would understand. 

Hands came down to rest in his hair, never tugging or pushing, only guiding. 

"Benny. Benny. What you're doing to me. Caro mio. Benny. Oh God." 

Using the discipline that let him stand for hours outside the consulate, that kept him alive in the winters of the Northern Territories, that kept him from doing things to Ray his friend wasn't ready for, Benny raised his head and let that hot, wet length slip from his mouth. 

"Benny! God. Don't stop." Dark green eyes pleading: emeralds were nothing by comparison. 

"Who am I sucking, Ray?" 

"Me! Oh! You mean..." Ray looked distressed. "Benny, I don't think the name is gonna work anymore." 

"Why?" 

"It's, well, Ladies' Man." 

Fraser raised his eyebrows, wanting to ask if that name would ever be appropriate again, but he wasn't about to ask Ray questions like that during sex. "Well, 'Mountie-nip' won't do either, Ray." 

"Give me a few days to think about it, huh, Benny?" He canted his hips, and the red tip waved in Benny's face. 

"Perhaps you would allow me, Ray." 

"God. Whatever you want. Just..." The red tip waved again. 

Blue eyes looked down, accessing, and Ray's penis twitched. Benny smiled. "He's waving at me, Ray." 

"Benny...God..." 

"Hello, Mr. Vecchio. How are you today?" 

**"BENNY!"**

"Yes, Ray?" He looked up into Ray's red, furious and highly aroused eyes. 

"Benny, *Mr. Vecchio* needs some attention." 

"Certainly, Ray." And he slid the hot, wet length back inside his mouth, sucking and licking, until he swallowed salt and bitter and sweet and hot. He lapped carefully to keep things clean, then slithered up to capture Ray's lips. His mouth was even sweeter now, and Fraser made a note to make a habit of kissing Ray directly after orgasm. He wondered what it would taste like if they were kissing when Ray orgasmed. Well, when Mr. Vecchio recovered, he'd have to see. 

Ray stirred, weakly. When he finally spoke, his voice was cracked and hoarse. Benny felt enormously pleased with himself. 

"I do not believe you." 

"Tell me you love me, Ray." 

"Who *are* you?" 

"Benton Fraser, RCMP." 

Ray shook his head, looking up into Benny's eyes with open incredulity. But then, Ray was always open, and almost always incredulous, it seemed. "That's who I went to bed with, but you're some sort of -" 

"Did you go to bed with me because you love me?" 

"I already said I did, twice." 

He shouldn't have played around so much before. "Are you really going to keep count, Ray?" 

How could it always be so easy to tell what Ray was thinking? How did he stand to let others know him so well? And what had been wrong with his ex-wife, anyway? It was all there for anyone to see. 

"I love you, Benny. Okay? I love you. I love you. How often would you like to hear it?" 

"Once a day would be nice, Ray, if you don't mind." 

"Aw, geeze. Of course I don't mind, Benny. But I'm just thinking I'd rather show you than tell you." 

He tried a smile and got one back. Another need met, and though his request had been extravagant he knew Ray would fulfill it. His happiness seemed to go right to the place between his legs, an area already more than amply stimulated. 

Ray's grin turned slightly evil. "So...what do you call it, Benny?" 

He bit his lip and moved just a bit, hoping a distraction might - 

Ray's hands clamped on his hips. "What do you call it, Benny?" 

"Well, you see, Ray, that's the issue right there." 

"What issue?" 

"You must understand, that with the possible exception of my mother, no one ever called me Benny. To the other children I was Ben, and to the adults I was either Ben or Benton. By the time I reached puberty, very few people were even calling me Ben, so..." He tried to think of a good way to say it, but those eyes had already gone wide. 

"You call the little guy 'Benny,' Benny?" 

"Well, I don't call him 'the little guy,' Ray." 

"All these years I've known you, I been calling you by the name you gave the little fireman? No wonder you been lusting after me!" 

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that I had been lusting after you, Ray." 

"No?" Ray looked hurt. 

"Well, that is to say..." His hips pressed forward. 

"Tell Little Benny I'm not coming out to play until you tell me how you were feeling, Fraser." 

"Ray, I realize you have a perfect right to tease me now, but...I...I suppose I was lusting, Ray. I just didn't let myself think about it." 

"What? When I was calling you by your cock's name?" 

"All right, at first...but then I got used to it. In fact, I was thinking of changing his name before this, but the only thing I could come up with is a little too predictable, I'm afraid." 

"What, 'Big Ben?'" 

Benny felt his face flush, but Ray's eyes, which had been twinkling, suddenly went soft. "Gawd, that's so sweet I'm gonna need an insulin shot." 

Someone whimpered, and Fraser was mortified to realize it had been himself. Ray's smile deepened, and then his clever hands went to Benny's pants and slid them off along with his underwear. It really was proof of the advantage of wearing boxers. 

He made to roll them so that they were on their sides, but Ray's hands went to his legs, then his sides, urging him up on all fours. A possibility occurred to him that made his breath rush out of his lungs, but Ray wasn't making any moves to get off the bed. Indeed, the wiry body slid down the sheets until he was right below Benny's blood-swollen, hot and aching \- 

"Ray!" Oh, oh dear. Ray was licking him, and he had this sudden image of coming all over Ray's face. He was shivering so hard he locked his arms at the elbows and sagged his shoulders just to take off some of the strain. It also helped him to watch carefully as Ray opened his mouth, reached up to glide his hands around Benny's rear, and pull him down and in. 

"Ray," he protested as his eyes closed in bliss. His hips sank down, and he was groaning wordlessly, and Ray's mouth was so hot, so gentle, so insistent. "Ray...Ray..." He rolled his hips slightly forward, and then back, unable to help himself, relieved beyond words that Ray didn't seem to mind. In fact, the hands pressed harder and the mouth sucked with more enthusiasm, and Benny felt himself rushing to that point of pleasure he'd needed for so long, until, foolishly, he opened his eyes. 

From this angle, Ray was almost all eyes, looking at him. Beyond his nose, Ray's mouth was wrapped around his length, but he couldn't take his eyes from Ray's because they, more than that mouth, more than the hands on his body, those eyes were saying "I love you" over and over. 

He stopped pumping and leaned back, slowly, keeping his balance and keeping himself buried in Ray's mouth. He was vertical now, his legs bent beneath him, and he got enough weight off his right hand to touch Ray's face and smooth a palm over the soft curve of his head. Love warred with shame, love that Ray had agreed to forsake so much to do this for him, shame that he had gotten Ray to forsake so much to do this for him. 

Hands pressed into his backside again, urging him to resume his rhythm, but for the moment he couldn't. He thought perhaps he was going a little soft. 

Ray let go of him to speak, and he prayed it wouldn't be another reference to silly names. He couldn't bear it. 

"Come in my mouth, Benny. I really want to know what you taste like." 

He sobbed and slid himself back inside. Only a few smooth, controlled, gentle, hot thrusts, and he felt his semen rush along his shaft, felt the contractions in his lower belly, felt the heat and the release and the white-light joy of it, staring all the while down into those green eyes that owned him completely. 

@@@ 

A long, tapered and smoothly ebony limb arced over the bed and groped for the phone 

"Hmmmph. Hello?" 

"Elaine, it's Ray Vecchio. This line clean?" 

"Mmmph? Who?" 

"Is the line clean?" 

"Clean? Why wouldn't...what..." 

"Wake up, Elaine! I ain't got a lot of time here. No, I am not being rude. Look, do you want to talk to her? No! You'll be so polite we'll never get this call finished." 

"Ray?" Elaine sat up in bed. "Ben?" 

"Elaine, we need your help, okay? Can you meet us at -" 

"Ray, every cop in the city is looking for you and Benton!" 

"I know that, Elaine, and I'm not happy about it, okay? But something big is going on here, something Benny and me gotta figure out before we come in. You have to meet us at Candles in one hour. Okay? What? Benny...all right. Look, please, Elaine. We need you, okay?" 

"I'll...be there, Ray." 

"And don't tell anyone, all right? This is really important and I know it puts you in a bind, but please, okay, Elaine?" 

Elaine nodded, then said "Yes" into the phone. It had been a long time since she's heard Vecchio sound so scared and desperate. She didn't like it. 

"And Elaine, if you have any mercy in your soul, bring donuts." 

Elaine stared at the phone for a second after the loud click, then got up and got dressed. Vecchio wouldn't care, of course, but today was her day off. When she bought the donuts, she got jelly for Ray, buttermilk for Benton, and Choco-Maniacs for herself. If the knowledge that Ray and Ben were alive was sweeter to her than donuts could ever be, she'd just keep that to herself. 

The drive to Candles took up the rest of her hour, almost exactly. She had to hand it to Ray: this was one place no one would be looking for either him or the Mountie. Far out of the 27th Precinct, and the 22nd, the coffee bar was a haven for yuppies and disaffected teenagers. Open twenty-four hours and often a host to acoustic bands and poetry readings, it had a wide-screen TV, every kind of chair from Bauhaus to stuffed sofa to beanbag, and an alcove filled with old books and new computers, each with Internet access, that one "checked out" for free with a coffee order over five dollars - which at Candles meant a small dark. The place took its name from a complete absence of lightbulbs, and when Elaine walked through the door with her bag of warm goodies and about a thousand questions, the smell of the burning scented wax threatened first to give her a headache, then to put her to sleep. 

Even knowing to look for them, she almost missed the two men in army surplus sitting on a paisley couch near the "Reading Room." Ray had to have a couple sweatshirts on under the large olive green jacket, and the baseball cap on his head was turned just right to throw off the distinctive curve of his somewhat pointy head. That goose neck was hidden by a turned-up jacket. 

Fraser wore a long dark coat, black pants and a camouflage T-shirt with clunky boots, and though she wouldn't have thought it, the look was completely wrong for him, especially with the greasy-looking cap on his head. They looked like over-grown nerds who were trying to fool the world into believing they didn't live in their parents' basements. The only things missing were inappropriate tattoos and a few face-piercings. 

She sat down in the chair across from the couch, not blocking their view of the front door, opened her paper sack, and held it out. 

"You do realize if anyone I know sees me with you two right now, my reputation as a woman of taste will be ruined beyond repair." 

Vecchio took the bag from her, dived in and brought out both his jelly donuts, then handed the bag to Fraser. 

"Thank you kindly, Elaine." 

"It was no problem, Ben." 

Ray only nodded. She noticed he'd already inhaled his first donut. That was impressive, even for him. Fraser ate his first buttermilk cruller quickly as well, which was even more unusual. She took the bag back from Ben and ate one of her chocolate bonanzas slowly, using the time to look them over without, she hoped, staring. 

She realized the reason the disguises were so effective was the changes in their faces. For half a second she thought it was makeup, but no, those were genuine dark circles under their eyes and pale faces to offset them. Ray's face and neck and hands were bruised and scabbed, and both of them looked drawn and tight and thinner. 

Ray slurped down the last of the giant coffee he'd bought himself, and Fraser gulped just slightly as he drained his tea, then they were eating their second donuts. She found herself on her feet, grabbing their cups and going to the counter to buy them another round and herself a grand latte. She frowned at her hands until they stopped shaking, then watched the face-pierced twentysomething put the cups on a tray she carried back. 

Thank God, when she got within earshot, she could hear them going at it. 

"I wasn't always stuffing my face, Benny." 

"I didn't say you were always -" 

"Sometimes I'd just sit there and watch the old man, you know? Pop could get so excited when the game was on, he was better than TV." Ray shot her a look and reached for his cup. Fraser did the same, though he thanked her. "You got no idea how much I missed coffee the past few days, Elaine. And you know what, Benny? I'm fairly certain, for the rest of my life, there's something I'll never be able to eat again." 

"Well, MacDonald's, while a fine and family-oriented restaurant, has never been an establishment that -" 

"You saying you could choke one of those things down again, Benny?" 

Fraser froze for a moment, then spoke with a sincerity that almost brought tears to Elaine's eyes. 

"I'd rather boil one of my shoes again, Ray." The two men looked at each other. 

Elaine almost dropped a grand latte in her lap. *I didn't see that. I not see Ray and Benton share a look right out of *The Love Boat.* I did not see that.* 

The two men were looking at her now, calmly, minus the traces of sugar on Ray's lip and on Benny's chin, then Fraser cleared his throat. 

"There are many things we need to tell you, Elaine, so many, that it is difficult to know where to begin." 

"You were abducted from the safe house," she prodded. 

"Yeah. You know if Roberts and the other guys watching us are okay?" Ray took another deep drink of his coffee, and Elaine could swear she saw his color improve. 

"They woke up with lousy headaches and stories about dartguns." 

"Yes, Detective Vecchio and I were darted and taken to a small complex whose location we have yet to determine, and held there for a number of days." 

For the first time since she'd met Constable Fraser, his formality annoyed her, and she found herself addressing Ray. "We know you left food for Dief - who's fine, by the way - and moved your car, and that you were on a bus." 

"I thought that guy would remember me." 

"Constable Turnbull also saw you yesterday across from the consulate." 

"Elaine, are you aware that the Canadian Ambassador to the UN, Ambassador Gerald Braun, to be exact, is currently visiting the city of Chicago?" 

"Yes. Welsh had me check everything I could to find a connection to that and Ray, but I came up empty." 

"You were meant to come up empty," Ray snorted. "I got a connection, all right. The problem is, me and Benny think the people behind this wanted that connection exposed. If we go back now, even just to Welsh, then they'll probably end up getting what they want. I mean, we might chance it, except Ms Socks knew the second we were charged with conduct unbecoming, and she knew a lot of other stuff too." 

"Ms Socks?" 

"What we need, Elaine, is some clue as to who would want to embarrass Ambassador Braun. Now, this may be political, but it may also be personal. After all, ambassadors aren't usually the focus of political assassinations, although there have been many cases even in Canadian history of -" 

"We also need to know if there's been any progress on figuring out how she's getting her information. And of course, we need to know if anyone's contacted headquarters since we disappeared." 

Elaine held up her hands. "Okay, let me talk for a minute here." She opened her mouth, then closed it. "Who is Ms Socks?" 

"The dead voice on the phone. She's dead in person too." Ray shuddered, and Ben nodded. 

"And she gave you no clue about any of this stuff you want to know? She didn't tell you anything about why she kidnapped you?" 

"She seemed primarily interested in determining our obedience, then in giving Detective Vecchio a number of bizarre tasks." 

"The general idea at the station is that you were so obnoxious on the bus either because you wanted the driver to remember you, or because you were worried about Ben." 

"Elaine, you'll get to read the report." Green eyes were pleading with her, but her eyes shot back that she wanted to know just where she stood. 

"Elaine." Fraser's voice had gone pure formality again. "I believe Ray and I should tell you -" 

"Benny!" 

"Ray, we are trusting her with our lives." 

"Our lives, yes! This? No!" 

"Oh my God." 

They looked at her. 

"Oh my God." 

It was bad enough that Ben hadn't wanted her. It had seemed to be heading towards being bad enough that he would want Inspector Thatcher instead. But this! To be turned down, looked over, snubbed and not wanted in place of *Vecchio!* 

Vecchio. 

"Elaine." 

She held up a hand. "Give me a minute." Vecchio. Not her. Vecchio. Not her. Vecchio. 

Vecchio. 

She shook herself slightly, closed her eyes, took a deep breath. She'd just have to think about it later. 

"We haven't heard anything from anybody since you two disappeared, and no one has a clue how the kidnappers knew so much about what was happening at the station. We did find evidence that someone wearing gloves searched Fraser's apartment while you were gone, which means that they got in and out without being spotted by the team we had staking out your apartment. No one's bothered your house, Ray." 

"Was anything missing from Benny's place?" 

"We'd need Ben to tell us, but it didn't look like it." 

"Might be one of the neighbors." 

Why had she never noticed before the way Ray's voice got all soft when he talked to Benton? 

"Ray, I hardly think my neighbors would take advantage of my absence to scour my apartment." 

"Definitely the neighbors." 

Elaine cleared her throat. "I've already made myself pretty familiar with Ambassador Braun's career, and some about his life. He's a widower, and his wife's family is old, old money. He's got a daughter who used to be pretty wild, but she's settled down and is getting a pre-med degree now. He's on the board of about a thousand charities. Nice guy, from what I could see." 

"Whoever wants him to go down has money and power and connections." 

"I'll look, Ray." 

"Thank you kindly, Elaine." 

"Yeah. Sure. Fraser." She gave him a smile, and was again bothered for the first time by that phrase. It sounded so special the first few times you heard it, but it was just a phrase like any other. "How do I talk to you guys again?" 

"We're getting out of town. I got a place I know to go to. The thing is, I need someplace to call you where no one's going to be ready with a trace." 

She thought, then reached into her purse and scribbled a number before handing over the slip of paper to Ray. "I can go to my hairdresser's and hang out in the back. Joy won't mind. You call me there tonight, six o'clock. She'll be closing, but she takes forever. I'll tell you what I have so far. But Ray, you have to let me tell Lieutenant Welsh." 

"Elaine, right now it's just me and Benny to blame for this. You help us, you know neither of us is gonna say a word about you being involved. You bring Welsh into this, and it's his job on the line too, and yours." 

"Everyone is worried about you. People are working overtime -" 

"And if Welsh pulls them off, then the people who took us are going to know we made contact. That might be enough to cause who knows what. You said you liked this Braun guy. We make a wrong move on this, his life is pretty much fried. As long as no one knows where we are, I'm hoping we got them in a bind. It ain't much, but it's all we got right now, Elaine. You're all we got right now, Elaine." 

*You have each other, Vecchio, you lucky jerk.* 

She stood, and gave a sharp little nod. "Six o'clock." 

"We'll call." 

She nodded again. She really needed to get away from all these candles. But first she went to the computer she'd "rented" and punched in the URL for the *Edmonton Sun,* then she browsed for the article on the ambassador's planned goodwill tour. She scanned through it, then found the half-remembered name and jotted it down. Ray and Fraser came to join her, and she left them quietly bickering about what else they could find. 

It wasn't until she made it to the station on her day off, fobbing people off with lame excuses about wanting to catch up on her paperwork, that she knew she wasn't going to tell Welsh what had happened. Fortunately, he was out of the office most of the day. It didn't matter though. In the end, she had to help them both, even though she was certain that this was going to get her fired. 

@@@ 

The lot at strip mall was just starting to fill up with cars stopping off between work and home. Skateboard-toting kids came without irony from the frozen yogurt shop, licking and calling each other names. One of them eyed the two men walking on the sidewalk with curiosity. They were a little old for their clothes, and he wanted them to see him rolling his eyes. His girlfriend, the only chick in the group, said something he didn't care for, and when he thought to look again, the two men had passed. 

Ray and Benny walked for miles after their last bus, keeping out of sight of traffic as best they could, Ray complaining the whole way about his tired feet and uncomfortable shoes. They didn't stop to eat, to use the facilities, to show their faces to anyone anywhere near the small, somewhat ill-kept house in the suburbs Murph got from some uncle who'd been a cop. He let his friends use it when their wives threw them out, and sometimes it got taken over for a bachelor party. Of course, there was a good chance someone was already there, and if so, then the key would be gone, and they'd have to hike another mile to another bus to the Day's Inn at the very outskirts of town. 

In-between Ray's complaints, which sometimes turned into inquiries about Fraser's well-being, they ran through possible scenarios to explain Ms Socks and her motives. In part, they were only being as thorough as they always were, questioning everything, trying to prepare themselves for whatever might still be coming after them. But there was an extra urgency that came from knowing that when they finally got into the same room as a bed they weren't going to be doing any cop talk for quite a while. 

In fact, as much as he tried to focus on their predicament, Fraser was almost overwhelmed by the need to get Ray to that bed as quickly as possible. The small urges and suppressed thoughts of his entire relationship with Raymond Vecchio had seemed daunting when he first allowed them to have their way with him in bed, but now that he had actual memories to mix with his fantasies - which seemed to multiply in number with every few blocks they walked - he found himself assaulted with the ghosts of smells and tastes and sounds and sights and feelings, so much so that the real world around him would fade for seconds at a time. 

To keep walking in the right direction, he followed Ray's voice and the dark, poorly dressed shape beside him. To keep his brain from shutting down in protest, he allowed himself to think of the line of a long, lean thigh under his hand, the curve of that impossible neck, the color of the sea when the water was almost freezing, the warm sweetness of a mouth seeking his own warmth and sweetness in return. 

He found he was planning out his next series of touches on Ray's body, rehearsing how he would stroke his skin, kiss his lips, lick at each sensitive place until the man was incoherent with pleasure. He wanted to know if Ray liked being bitten on his nipples, or if soft, gentle caresses were best. He wondered if Ray liked the way he looked in his brown uniform as much as he had once claimed to like him in his red one, and if Ray didn't mind that he preferred flannel and denim to silk and Armani. He wondered if Ray enjoyed handcuffs in bed, and then found himself wondering if he himself enjoyed handcuffs in bed. 

He had no idea. He hoped desperately Ray would help him find out. 

He cursed himself for not asking more about the lubricant and condoms Ray had put on the nightstand last night. They hadn't been there in the morning, nor had he and Ray been granted any time to explore each other before they had needed to leave, not wanting the morning light to expose them as they made their way from the hotel. 

"I tell you, there better be food at Murph's place, Benny. My stomach's about to eat my spleen." 

Hearing the word "eat" at that moment, even with Fraser's somewhat limited understanding of sexual double entendre, was unfortunate. He was starving in a way he had never been before, not even for his parents' love or Victoria's forgiveness, not even for seeing his father's killer brought to justice. It actually *hurt* that he wasn't touching Ray right now. 

"Hey, Benny? You okay?" 

Fraser looked around. They were half-way down a block of tract housing, half-hidden from the street by a minivan. He could see no one else. 

"Are we almost there, Ray?" 

"Yeah, a few more blocks is all, if we can get in. What's up, Benny? Don't tell me Mr. Mountie can't hoof a hundred miles even without a caribou strapped to his chest." 

"I need to kiss you, Ray." 

"Here?" Ray was looking around in near panic, but Benny noted with relief that he didn't look actually horrified. In fact, he was half-smiling. But he shook his head. 

"We really don't need to be drawing attention to ourselves, Benny." He caught his friend's eye, and leered slightly. "Besides, you wait 'til I get you back in bed, the things I'm going to do for you..." 

"What are you going to do to me, Ray?" 

Ray frowned, not liking Benny's tone. It was sexy, but it was something else. 

"Benny? Something wrong?" 

It was odd how well he'd gotten to know Benny's eyes these past few days. When they glinted with pain, he felt almost as though he'd been struck. 

"I need to kiss you, Ray. I need it. I need to make love to you, to touch you, to know I'm giving you pleasure. I need it so much. I don't know that I like that, that I can bear that." 

Ray was shaking hard enough that Fraser could see it through his many layers of clothing. In the evening air of early spring they could see traces of their own breath, and Benny was abruptly confronted by the fragility of everything, pressing in on him, jeering at him for thinking he could want so deeply, need so much, and survive. 

"Me too, Benny." 

Fraser stared at him in shock. 

"Me too, okay? I want to jump you so bad I can't think straight. I'm in more trouble than I've ever been since I became a cop, and all that's on my mind is what we did last night. I don't even know if we're doing the right thing here, and if we're wrong Welsh'll kick me off the force so fast I'll have skid marks on my butt. But this is as good as I can think now, the best I can manage, and since you agree with me on it, I know there's no way I'm going to come up with better. 

"Now, I'm hoping like anything God is feeling nice about us today and there's nobody already at Murph's private hideaway that I once swore to him I'd never use. I'm hoping when it's six I'll be able to pry myself off your naked body long enough to make it to a pay phone and call Elaine, and I'm praying that whatever she tells us won't mean we can't sleep together tonight, all night long, pressed up against each other, 'cause I'll die if I can't be with you tonight, Benny. You got me? I'll just die." 

Ray had watched those eyes clear as he talked, and worried now that he'd run out of both words and air, but Benny was close to smiling now, and seemed to be breathing easier. Almost inevitably, however, a frown once again appeared. 

"I'm sorry if you're feeling ways you don't want to feel, Ray." 

"You don't want to feel the way you feel, Fraser?" 

The man considered it seriously, Ray could tell that much, but it wasn't a long deliberation. 

"I'd die before I would let anyone take from me the way I feel about you, Ray." 

Ray felt punched in the gut. He'd been expecting another "I love you." Not that. Not...how did Benny do it? How did he walk around for almost three years saying "Thank you kindly" and then come out with stuff like that? 

"It's just a few more blocks, Benny." Fraser nodded, but looked anxious. Ray remembered he still hadn't said his own piece. After a deep breath, held for several seconds, he offered up the best he could. "Benny, when we get there, or wherever we find, I'm going to get you naked and then kiss you all over. You see if you can tell from that whether I'm sorry about what's going on between us, okay?" 

"Okay, Ray." And Benny seemed just as Ray supposed he should have realized he would: not relieved, not anxious, just ready to be shown the evidence. 

It was enough to get them to the house. 

It was one of those two-car garage, two-bedroom and two-bath places, with a large window at the front and to the side of the garage, and little diamond windows in the front door. The stucco had faded to a yellow-green slightly alleviated by dark green trim on the windows. 

The key was supposed to be hidden under the fat, chipped garden gnome near the sprinkler turn-off, and when Ray tipped the little guy over his hand almost slipped off his pointy hat, his palms were so sweaty. 

He came up with the key, and made a serious prayer of thanksgiving as he walked back to the front door and opened it up. Inside, there was a battered TV on some milk crates, a torn sofa and mis-matched chair, and the vague smell of sulfur and sour milk. He felt Benny behind him as he walked through, and then hands were on him, peeling off his coat. 

He managed to turn around and shut the door before his own hands were in Fraser's clothes, the black and army junk he knew looked so bad on him only because of the way he was wearing it. Paper towels would look good on Benny if he wanted them to. 

Benny was gasping, his eyes unfocussed and lost while he tried to say his name. Ray wanted more than anything to replace that look with one of pleasure, perhaps even, temporarily, with one of contentment. 

"I love you, Benny." 

There, that got his attention...and then some. Benny came at him in a rush, almost snarling, and Ray felt his three sweatshirts pulled up and off so hard the elastic only barely missed ripping off his nose. His pants were next, and then with a dizzying *thump* he was down on the floor, Benny's body over him. 

He didn't even try to clear his vision or catch his breath, just reached up to pull Benny's face to his for a deep, hard, agonizingly sweet kiss that went on and on. When he felt warm flesh against his groin, he fumbled for Benny's clothes, but there was no time. The heavy, frantic movements over him increased their pace, and he was being thrust against again and again. Fraser's eyes were almost all white, and his name was gasped out over and over. Ray watched as Benny bent back, screaming, and then a hot flood covered his hips and stomach as Benny screamed. A moment, he held himself, poised. Then he collapsed. 

Ray caught him, and worked at breathing right with a hundred-sixty-plus pounds of Mountie on top of him. His brain wasn't working right, and he wasn't really thinking about anything except the last look he'd seen on Benny's face. He couldn't even say for certain how long a time passed before his friend suddenly stirred, gently at first, then with a vengeance. 

"Great Scott! Ray! I'm so sorry!" 

Ray smiled up into the face above his, now supported by two locked arms and punctuated by a shame-flushed cheeks. "For what, Benny? That has to be the sexiest thing I've seen in my whole damn life." 

Fraser bit his lip, wanting to believe. "I can't believe I was so selfish, Ray." 

"Neither can I. I must really turn you on like crazy, you acting like that." 

The arms began to bend, and a breath was slowly expelled. "You have no idea, Ray." 

Ray brought him down further and kissed him deeply, cherishing the feel and the taste and the knowledge of who was in his arms. "Let's find the bed, okay, Benny? We only got an hour before we gotta find a pay phone." 

Fraser frowned and pulled back, looking down at Ray's body. 

"You're not excited, Ray." 

Ray laughed ruefully. "Yes, I am, Benny." 

"But Ray -" 

"Don't you get it, Benny? I was hard when I opened the door." 

"But you didn't...come, Ray." 

"No." Ray shivered and sat up, peeling off Benny's clothes as he went on. "I was so involved in what you were doing, so turned on...when you came, it felt like it was me too. I just gotta remind my body it wasn't me." He was gratified to see blue eyes go wide. 

"Really, Ray?" 

He opened his mouth to answer, then just smiled and put Benny's hand over his groin. The flesh responded instantly, but Ray pulled back and away. 

"Bed, Benny. I'm serious. The carpet is filthy." The detective stood, waiting, his stomach shiny with Fraser's cum, his body gently aroused. Ben was on him instantly, licking his stomach clean, holding his hips in hands that kept wandering, moaning Ray's name. Ray lasted under the onslaught about ten seconds, then was carding his long fingers through Benny's hair and begging for the touch of his mouth around his cock. 

Fraser instantly complied. Hungry, so hungry his stomach growled and his hands shook. So thirsty he took almost Ray's entire length in his mouth and down his throat, swallowing as his hands lifted the warm, heavy sac, caressing, urging...and then receiving, savoring, making it last as long as possible. 

Ray wound up bent over Benny's shoulders, his hands splayed on Benny's back. 

Benny's voice was muffled, but desperate. "Ray? Can we lay in bed until it's time to go?" 

Ray wanted to soothe, to reassure, but he was running out of words. There was so much, more than he had thought there could be, just between himself and Fraser. And they hadn't even tried to deal yet with the rest of their lives. Even now, he made the mistake of looking down as his hands clutched that perfectly smooth skin - perfect except for the scar over the spine. What wouldn't he give, what wouldn't he take from someone else to offer up, to be able to reach down and pull his bullet out of Benny's back? 

"Yeah, Benny. Sure." 

@@@ 

They wolfed down Domino's pizza and kept an eye on the clock. The phone in the booth next to the strip mall was working fine, and Ray couldn't let go of the change in his right hand, scooping up slices of pepperoni with black olives and green peppers with his left. When the box was empty, they still had five minutes left to wait. 

"Let's get another before we go back," Ray said. The cupboards at Murph's place had nothing but Mac and Cheese and two cans of tomato paste. 

Benny licked at his fingers, making Ray look out over the parking lot to keep from embarrassing himself. "Mushrooms." 

Ray shrugged. "All right." 

"No, Ray." He pointed at the small plot of ground curbed by concrete. Small white knobs peppered the soil under some half-hearted greenery. "Mushrooms." 

"Yeah. So?" 

Fraser shrugged a little defensively. "I was just trying to come up with something to say other than that I wish my fingers were your Mr. Vecchio, Ray." 

Ray jumped off the little plastic chair outside the frozen yogurt shop, folding the pizza box with hands that shook, then walked to the phone booth, glad only that the jacket he was wearing came half-way down to his knees. 

"Ray?" 

He spun, looked around, then hissed, "I already want to jump your bones in broad daylight, Fraser. You don't gotta stoke me every five minutes!" 

Benny looked at the ground. "I suppose I'm just used to telling you what I'm thinking, Ray." 

"And I want you to, Benny. All right? Just not when I can't do anything about it." 

Fraser nodded, then looked up, cautiously smiling. "It's just so...easy with you." 

Ray was incredulous again. His hands spread wide, his right fist closed around quarters and dimes. "Easy! What part of this do you find easy, Fraser?" 

"Well, you're not a woman." 

"True." 

"Before, when I wanted a woman, it always seemed impossible to tell her, to get her to understand what I was feeling." 

"But not with me, is that what you're saying?" 

Benny dazzled him with a smile. "Yes, Ray." 

"Well, that's funny, Benny. Because I've been thinking about how it's twice as hard. You know, Ange wasn't no virgin when we got married, but if she'd been straight out of St. Helen's Cloister for Girls Who Don't Even Know What a Penis Is, I wouldn't feel so much like I was -" Ray bit his lip. 

"Like you were what, Ray?" 

Ray shook his head and turned to the booth. "We gotta call Elaine." 

The booth stank of sweat and old beer, but was strangely urine-free. Ray got a quarter in the phone on his second try and dialed the number before putting in more money. 

"Elaine? Yeah. What did you find out?" 

Vecchio held the phone out and Fraser leaned in to hear her, blocking out his proximity to Ray with the discipline he had used to survive in the north, to stand sentry duty, to let Ray slip out of his mouth when he'd wanted nothing more than - 

*Stop that and listen to Elaine!* 

"Ray, you have to let me tell Welsh you've made contact. IA is all over the station. I'm to get back there ASAP and let them dig through everything." 

"What's going on?" 

"Like any of us knows? Apparently, there was some sort of break-in at old evidence storage, but the case boxes weren't searched so much as just thrown around, like someone was looking for buried gold." 

Ray looked at the change in his hand, ready to put in more money when the operator instructed. 

"Meanwhile, Welsh has been calling in more men to look for you and Benton, and Inspector Thatcher has called Canada for more people too." 

"Yeah, okay. What did you find out about Braun?" 

Elaine hesitated, and Ray's knuckles on the hand around the receiver striped white. "Ray, I'm sorry, but...he hasn't got any enemies. More than that, it's like there's no one on the planet that isn't his best friend. He was appointed to his post and approved faster than just about anyone in the history of the world, he's on the board of every major Canadian charity, he's for women's rights, civil rights, uh, gay rights, kindness to animals and student scholarships. He's never had anyone oppose him politically. He's...he's like some sort of ambassador saint. 

"The only guy I could find to say something negative about him is Gaetan Paul, a journalist, who was just complaining that Braun uses every last job perq when it comes to travel and stuff, though why he's not supposed to...I mean, he *is* the ambassador. But I had to dig for that. 

"I'm sorry, guys." 

"We know you did your best, Elaine. Thank you kindly." 

"How much longer is this guy in Chicago?" 

"He's got an AIDS charity ball tomorrow night, and a luncheon tomorrow with some Canadian college students. Then he leaves on the redeye." 

"Is he attending either with his daughter?" 

"Both." 

Ray was instructed to feed more money into the phone. 

"Elaine, for the AIDS ball, have plans for that been changed since Ray and I disappeared?" 

"Not that I know of." 

No one spoke. Finally, Ray looked at Fraser, who nodded. 

"Elaine, get yourself alone with Welsh. You understand me? Alone. You tell him we met you on the street outside the beauty parlor or wherever you are. Tell him we're okay, but that we know there's someone dirty working on the inside. Tell him we want him not to tip them, that we only got one more day before this guy is gone. Tell him what's at stake. Tell him...tell him if I did the wrong thing here he can have my badge as a Christmas present, okay? Tell him..." 

Ray's teeth worked over his lips, his eyes staring out the booth. It was getting really dark outside. 

"Tell him we'll do everything we can, okay? Tell him me and Benny are on it." 

"All right, Ray." 

Fraser leaned in towards the phone again. "Thank you kindly, Elaine." 

"Ray? Uh, Ben? Take care of yourselves, all right?" 

"Right." 

Ray hung up, but Benny didn't move back, and Ray didn't ask him to, staring down at his fist, sliding some of the coins together as his muscles flexed. 

"I guess it never made sense anyway, trying to pressure a goodwill ambassador politically. Maybe it was him, trying to scare us. Maybe it's not connected at all. Maybe..." 

Green eyes, so green now they were the forest, beckoning him, beseeching him. Fraser fought the urge to talk of sex, or even to go on his knees there in the booth and force Ray from this moment. The eyes dropped away, staring again at his fist full of change. 

A car went by, blaring rap music. Fraser saw teenagers with blond hair. 

He looked back down at Ray's hand. It was open now, the sweat-shiny coins laying there. Eighty-five cents. 

They looked at each other, then down again at the coins. 

"Money," Ray whispered. 

"His wife. His wife came from money." 

"The reporter complained that he was always using the public's money to get around, right? So maybe it's because he didn't have it to spend it." 

"Blackmail." 

"Ms Socks wasn't angry, and neither was whoever she's working for. You notice that? She never had to worry about the client, and she didn't care about us." 

"Like you said, Ray. It wasn't personal." 

"No, it was money." 

"Someone was looking for your old case on the daughter." 

"Which they took!" 

"No, the government took that, as a favor to Canada or as a personal favor to a man with so many friends." 

"No, Benny. If he had the case stuff back, he wouldn't be paying the blackmailers." 

"But if the blackmailers had it, they would have used it by now, and they wouldn't have needed to...determine our obedience." 

"Which means someone else has got it." 

They looked at each other again, hearing that joined *click.* 

"A cop." 

"I believe you are right, Ray." 

"When I turned all my stuff over to the feds, someone copied it." 

"So we have two blackmailers: the original extortionists, and the police officer who decided he wanted a slice of the action." 

"Piece of the action, Benny." 

"Thank you, Ray." 

"So the first blackmailers, they get the goods on the girl, but then the government steps in and they're cheated out of the goodies until Mr. Cop tells them he's got copies." 

"This goes on for years, but the police officer in question gets greedy or they get tired of dealing with him, so -" 

"So they rain on their own parade? They fix me to run off screaming about how she's a murderer and her old man had me abducted?" 

"Perhaps he stopped paying. His daughter has recently become an adult. Perhaps he felt it was time to confront the issue." 

"Yeah, Benny. A guy like that would have a hard time with his conscience, paying off people like that. And when he stopped paying and the original blackmailers ordered the cop to turn over the stuff, he refused." 

"And so they wanted to use you, Ray, to expose the case and the cover-up." 

"And when we figured out that we shouldn't go back, they raided the evidence room." 

"And found nothing." 

Ray looked around. The booth was illuminated by the street lights. "Let's get back to the house, Benny." 

"Pizza, Ray?" 

"They'll remember us if we go back inside." 

"Actually, the young man who served us before seems to have gotten off work at six. I saw him drive away in a Toyota pick-up while we were talking to Elaine." 

Ray smiled. They'd figured out the first bit. Now they just needed to connect the dots. 

They were back at the house in half an hour with their pizza and Pepsis. They hadn't talked beyond ordering the toppings - mushrooms, pepperoni, and olives. The house was musty and the windows were lousy for peeking out of. But they were safer here than any place where they'd have to sign the register. 

Ray finished off the first slice, then sat back in the ratty chair with another. Fraser was on the sofa, a low, chipped table between them. 

"Okay, Benny. I figure the cop doesn't want to turn over the file because things have gotten so hot, or because he wants to go into business for himself. I favor the first one, because if Braun is saying he won't pay, you'd be a fool to think he'll change his mind." 

"Agreed." Fraser took another slice as well, and Ray was grateful to the god of movies that the Mountie had never seen *Tom Jones.* He couldn't stand sexy cheese nibbling right now. "Ray." 

"Yeah, Benny?" 

"Perhaps it is simply that I do not like protecting the virtue of someone who did not help another to avoid death, but is there a possibility she is innocent?" 

"Of being passed out while her boyfriend gave it up? No." Ray chewed up and swallowed another bite. "But she could have been set up, Benny. Would have been easy to slip the bad stuff to Cliff Townman - that was the guy's name - and to give her something to put her down. Mess up the apartment, make it look like she was walking around while he was dying...yeah. It could have happened that way." 

Fraser nodded, thinking. 

"So, Benny. How we gonna get into the ball to see Braun tomorrow night?" 

"Well, I don't think we can get into the ball itself, but I should be able to arrange for the two of us to drive them there." He shrugged when Ray shot him an impressed look. "The limousine was instructed to pick them up from their residence at exactly 7 PM. I know the protocols, and can phone ahead that last-minute security changes have made the time 6:45. If we can simply acquire our own limousine, they should be escorted into the car." 

"Genius, Benny." 

"Thank you kindly, Ray." Benny smiled in surprise. 

"No, I mean me. You are about to witness an act of genius." Ray stood up and flashed Benny the house key. "Back to the booth!" 

Another half-hour passed before they returned, Fraser once again amazed by the connections Ray had. It seemed that Ray had once found the murderer of the brother of a man who rented cars, including limousines. Ray had explained that he needed the car for a "very secret case involving a young woman's life," and the black-and-chrome-stretch and two driver's uniforms were theirs at 5 PM tomorrow. 

Ray closed the door with finality. They need only stay out of everyone's sight until tomorrow, and tomorrow could take care of itself. 

He couldn't turn to face the room, what with Benny plastered over his back. 

"Ray..." Benny breathed into his ear. "My sweet Ray." 

"Benny, we gotta talk." 

"I want you inside me, Ray." 

With a snarl, Ray pushed away from the door, throwing Benny's considerable bulk off his body. When he turned, the fact that his friend looked so bewildered only made him angrier. 

"How am I supposed to do this, Fraser? Huh? You think I'm ever gonna get interested in regular sex again once I've..." His hands waved out the words and generally indicated Fraser's buttocks. "You can do me if you want. I'd like it, okay? But I can't give you everything, all right? I can't talk dirty to you in public and do you in the bedroom and give you everything I have when you're just along for the ride." Benny stared at him, and Ray put up his hands now, forcing them steady. 

"Okay, okay. That's not fair. I love you, Benny, and I know you love me too, okay? We've, you know, loved each other since I don't know when. Maybe since we got Gerard, I don't know. And now you want more love and I want to give it to you, but I gotta protect myself a little here. I'm not my old man, but sometimes you gotta look out for number one, especially now that we've maybe figured out something to do to avoid getting fired or killed. Real life is coming back to us, one way or the other, Benny, and I'm not going to spend the rest of it thinking about what you loaned me when we were in trouble." 

"Ray, what in the world are you --?" 

"You can have any woman in the world you want, Benny. For once, could you please just not pretend you don't know that?" 

Fraser blinked at him, the struggle evident. Then his jaw firmed. 

"What if you could have any woman in the world, Ray?" 

Ray snorted, but before he could answer Benny was about two inches from his face, all the better to let his rage reach between them like heat, to make more visible the crack of fury in flame-blue eyes. When he spoke, his voice was husky with control. "Imagine them, Ray. On their knees, naked, asking for you: Louise St. Laurent, Elaine, Susan Chapin, Victoria, even. Every woman in the world: there they are!" Benny jerked forward, his nose bumping Ray's. "Do you have the image in your mind?" 

The shaking in Ray's body made it to his voice. "Yeah, Benny. I got it." 

"Now, if you want one of them or all of them more than you want me, then this is over." 

Ray swallowed. Fraser leaned back slightly, his breaths deep and his face tightly shuttered. 

"Well, is it over, Ray?" 

Ray's jaw worked, but no sound came out. He found himself shaking his head. 

"Ray -" 

"I can't ask you to marry me, Benny." 

Fraser frowned. "I didn't ask you -" 

"No, I mean I can't ask you to marry me, and I don't know what to ask instead. I want...I want forever, Benny. I want you to be the other half of my life. I want...geeze, the romantic nightmare that I want, Benny." Ray sort of laughed. 

"Tell me, Ray. Please." 

"I don't know how to tell you, Benny. I don't have a clue how this works. With two guys...walks in the park holding hands? No way. Taking you home to meet Ma and the family? They've already met you, but they'll probably get a gun and shoot us both if I say we're...whatever we - Damnit! I don't even know what we'd be called!" 

"Lovers, Ray." 

The word rocked him, and Benny used the excuse to take him in his arms. Fraser lowered his head and breathed Ray in and out, feeling him, soaking in his heat, seeking a bond from which Ray could not pull free, no matter how hard he tried. 

"We could move in together, Ray." 

"You'd do that, Benny?" 

"Please, Ray." 

Deep within Ray's body some set of muscles and tissue he hadn't known could let go the ache of tension just relaxed with no warning, painfully, snapping something that kept his breathing regular, and ruining whatever it was that was supposed to make his legs hold him up. Benny took his weight, cradling him. 

"I ain't moving into that rat-trap you live in, Benny." 

"No, Ray." 

"We'll have to get a nice place of our own, someplace where the neighbors aren't nosy, with locks on the doors." 

"Yes, Ray." 

"I like to be quiet for a while when I get home from work." 

"So do I, Ray." 

"And Dief can't sleep on our bed." 

"I'll tell him that, Ray." 

"He chews up just one of my loafers, and he'll wish he was back in Canada." 

"I'm sure, Ray." 

"And I'll be wanting sex every night, cheerfully and upon request." 

"Me too, Ray." 

Ray shivered harder. For God's sakes why were they still in their *clothes?* 

"Ray?" 

"Yeah, Benny?" 

"I want to keep going to restaurants, and movies, and things." 

"All right, Benny." 

"And one day I'll need to go north again. Maybe permanently, or maybe some sort of Persephone/ Demeter arrangement, living here and there, and you'll need to come with me." 

"Okay, Benny." 

"I want you inside me." 

"Bedroom, Benny." 

"Kiss me first." 

Ray's legs held him again as his hands slid up Benny's body and rested on the sides of his smile. His tousled hair, sapphire eyes, pale skin...no, he couldn't think about that right now. His loyalty and compassion, his standards of right and wrong...no, don't go there either. His incredibly sexy body and that long cock even now pressing against his hip. 

He kept the kiss brief. He wasn't going to hurt Benny, and rug-burn was out of the question. 

"Benny, I need you not to talk, okay? If you talk to me I'm going to rush this." 

Fraser bit his lip, almost leaned in for another kiss, then swallowed and nodded, his eyes never leaving his lover's. 

"Now, I need to know. I had a girl once, in college, and she liked this sort of thing. You ever done this before?" The dark-haired head shook slowly. "How about a woman to you, you know, with fingers?" Another shake. Ray wanted to groan in frustration. "Geeze, Benny. You ever do anything but the missionary position?" A nod this time, and a half-smile that made Ray's eyes close for a moment. "You gonna show me that later?" Another nod. 

Ray took his hands from Benny's body and turned slightly to check the door again and fix the chain. To his relief, Fraser began walking towards the bedroom on his own, shedding his coat and throwing it over the back of the sofa, then stepping out of his shoes and kicking them in a corner. After retrieving two items from his pocket, Ray had the jacket and all three sweatshirts off by the time he walked through the bedroom door, and as Benny sat on the bed and whipped off his socks, Ray walked into the bathroom, slid out of his pants and jockeys, and dampened a towel before wiping himself down. He really should take a shower, but sometimes one had to cut a few corners. 

He brought another towel to Benny, who was sitting naked on the bed now, and who leaned back, saying nothing with actual words while Ray gave him a quick, somewhat awkward bed-bath. Ray further muted Fraser by not looking into his eyes, but he could do nothing about the pink flush on that marble skin, or the sound of his breaths peppered with small, involuntary noises. Ray felt bad about making him restrain himself. He didn't want Benny to feel he had to maintain discipline *now,* but he knew if Benny asked for him one more time he would flip that perfect body over and take him hard. 

It was bad enough knowing Benny had to be looking at his erection. It was quite possible he'd never been so hard before. Just thinking about his own arousal made his hands shake. 

When the bath was done Benny scooted back and lay down, then rolled over on his stomach, waiting. 

Seconds dragged themselves past, then more seconds, perhaps half a minute now. Fraser's hands fisted the light green sheet, and it was all he could do not to thrust himself against the mattress. 

A kiss, the softest kiss imaginable, fluttered and hovered and finally was pressed against the scar over his spine. 

Ray whispered against his skin, "God, I'm so sorry, Benny. I'm so sorry." Hands were over his shoulders, then leading the way as lean, strong, warm arms wrapped around his body, and he was pulled against an even stronger, warmer chest. "So sorry, mio piccolo. God. So sorry." 

Benny reached back and grabbed Ray's hip, then pulled him forward, pressing his half-erect warmth against a firm cheek. Ray shuddered, but kept holding him, his face now pressed into Benny's nape as he shivered. At least the pained words fell silent. 

Well, there were times for quiet obedience, and times when a man simply and *finally* thought he just might have the right thing to say. He had forgiven his friend so many times and still not healed the wound Ray's bullet had made in his own heart. Stronger medicine was needed. 

"Make it up to me, Ray." 

His lover stopped breathing, and the warmth of his skin flickered to low flame. 

"For the rest of your life, every day, love me and make love to me, make me come so hard I don't remember who I am, be with me and make me yours and be mine until you have nothing left and need me to fill you up again. Make up for shooting me, Ray. Give me everything I want." 

Ray had steadied again, and as the flush came to his dark skin Benny felt it over his whole body like a caress, like a warm tongue licking him from head to toe. Even Ray's hands stopped shaking as they left those broad shoulders for the tube he'd dropped on the bed. He sat up and back, put just a dab of the cool gel on his fingers, rubbed it against his palm to warm it, then lightly stroked down Benny's spine before parting him and rubbing the slick fingertip over the dusky, puckered skin. 

Benny produced a most unMountie-like whimper. 

"I warned you about talking, Benny." 

He stroked again, keeping it light, teasing without mercy now as he bent down and lick-nibbled his way up and down that strong, pale, smooth back. With his right hand doing the important work, his left traveled up and down as well, trailing touches over hard-muscled thighs at one point, then stroking that pelt on Benny's head, then pulling back on a hip to keep his lover from humping the sheets. 

Drawing his lips over his teeth as he got more lubricant on his finger, he nipped hard at the base of Benny's spine, then slid inside, making Benny moan and getting a loud gasp out of himself. Hot caramel and so tight! But he kept stroking, smoothly, slowly, as he kissed and caressed, and Benny began to relax. Things slowed down a bit, and they simply continued this, getting into a rhythm, letting go of each anxiety, one by one. 

"You know I'll give you everything you want, Benny. I never could resist your Big-Eyed Mountie Look. How am I supposed to resist 'Give me a lift and I'll give you a kiss,' huh? You'll be leaping off buildings and I'll be watching your back and your butt and rushing off to handcuff the bad guys so they'll get out of my hair long enough for me to drag you back to bed." He was up to two fingers now, and he'd found the spot inside that got Benny whimpering again. He was pretty sure he was talking so much to keep himself from whimpering as well. 

"Hurry." 

"What did I tell you about talking?" 

"You're taking so *long,* Ray. I need you." 

"I need you too, Benny. You're just not ready yet." 

"Yes, I am!" 

Ray bit his lip hard enough to taste blood, then let himself look at and think about what he was doing. Benton Fraser was naked with his legs spread out, rocking back, fucking himself on Ray's three fingers, his hands white-knuckle-tight on the mattress, begging for more. Begging for him. 

He drew his fingers out, and ordered roughly over Benny's protests, "Roll on your side." The long, pale body rolled as Ray fit himself to the bed behind him, stretching out legs that were about to cramp, drawing in the oxygen he needed to whisper how good Benny felt against him while he opened the condoms and rolled down the cool latex to keep his lover safe. 

"Ray..." 

"Shhhhh. Tell me if anything hurts, Benny." 

He put his right hand on Benny's hip, helping him angle back, licking a bead of sweat from his shoulder. This was really going to happen, which meant that he had to *let* it happen. He had to allow himself to believe that Benny wanted this, wanted him, and that because of that...he made himself think it...because of that he deserved it. They loved each other enough for him to take his best friend and make him his lover, to enjoy his body, and take his pleasure with Benny's body so tight around his own. 

There was resistance at first, then heat, incredible heat around him, holding him close, deeper and hotter until he was inside completely, accepted completely, and a sort of blinding joy flashed within his blood. The completion of it overwhelmed him, and for perhaps the first time in his life, there was no fear. 

Benny moaned and pressed back, wanting Ray to move. His hands flattened against the mattress for balance, using the leverage to make his impatience known. 

Ray smiled and began to thrust, gently, letting it build. When Benny was moaning with a lovely constancy, he reached forward and took the hands from the bed, then pulled Fraser's arms up over his head, not letting him hold anything for support. 

"Ray, please..." 

"Shhhhh, Benny. Trust me." 

It was the right thing to say. The strong ice-white fire-hot body relaxed, rolling without resistance as Ray took his right hip in a possessive grasp, thrusting inside more strongly, then slid his hand to Benny's arousal, pumping him in time to each entry, guided by each sound of pleasure which built and gathered, like the energy in his body, like the heat between them. When the end pressed upon them both he welcomed it, wanting to soar while inside Benny's body, knowing he would be held up. 

Benny's first real keen of ecstasy took him by surprise, though he was too intent on his rhythm to falter. The sounds continued, wonderfully loud, inviting packmates to join him in howling at the moon. He felt Benny's body preparing, then the jerk and buck just before release, and threw himself into his own scream, pressing inside, touching *Benny* inside and then everything started shattering and wouldn't stop, on and on and on, calling his lover's name and being called in return, united in the selfish revelation of bliss. 

For some time, the dim room was quiet and warm. 

"Benny." 

"Mph. Ray...my sweet Ray." 

Their bodies had separated physically, but they had wound up nicely in each other's arms. Perhaps inevitably, Ray's head rested on Benny's shoulder, and their legs were a tangle. 

It was odd, really, not wanting to move, not needing to speak. He wasn't even worried about what Benny was going to say, or if the man were going to be quiet. Worrying simply took too much effort. 

Benny was nudged up gently to the surface. 

"Ray? What's so funny?" 

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." Ray's hand stroked his chest faintly, soothing him, before rubbing his tummy. 

"Mmm...not 'sleep." 

"Shhhh." The man in his arms stretched lazily and drifted back off. Later, he would tell Benny about how he was laughing at himself, at how safe and perfect he felt. Considering things objectively...but he didn't want to be objective, and he didn't need to be objective. He had a naked Mountie in his bed. If it took more than that to make him happy, he'd be the most ungrateful bastard on the planet. 

Turning his head just a bit, he could see Benny sleeping. Pretty soon, he'd have to reach up and kiss him. Maybe a nice shower together. And soon he wanted what Benny'd just gotten. 

Later, though. Benny was so toasty. 

@@@ 

There was upon waking an unfamiliar haze of happiness that felt almost like a threat. Benton Fraser felt his body struggling awake, demanding his attention to the lateness of the morning hour, but with an unprecedented act of will he pulled away from the demands of duty. He body ached, and he was quite hungry, and none of it mattered. The heat-generating body in his arms was Detective First Grade Raymond Vecchio, and all was right with the world. 

He was frightened in a way that he had never been before, but it was the source of the fear, not its intensity, that tried to distract him from the experience of waking up in Ray's arms. He had known perfect contentment; he could never again pretend that he was satisfied with anything less than a continuation of that contentment. His years in Chicago seemed unbelievably empty, and the expanses of the Northern Territories that had for so long framed his ambitions now seemed a barren, Ray-less waste. 

But then he remembered last night's words, and Ray's casual acceptance of his need to return home eventually, and he was overwhelmed with thoughts of having Ray all to himself in his father's cabin: coming in from a midnight walk in the snow, shaking out of his clothes, then sliding into a warm bed with Ray laying naked inside. Ray complaining about the bad food, and then cooking "something edible" at the stove. Could he be naked there as well? Perhaps only an apron, covering his front, framing his perfect, hand-sized buttocks. 

Ray walking in the snow and complaining about how there was no place to piss. Ray commiserating with Diefenbaker about the lack of jelly donuts. Ray in the summertime, swatting mosquitoes. Ray gaining confidence in his ability to find his way around. Ray growing to love Canada as he did Chicago, because he, Benton Fraser, was there. 

But he would never ask Ray to leave America permanently, which meant that he would have to spend time here as well, for the rest of his life. He tested his feelings, thinking hard about what that would mean, and found he had no regrets. 

Perhaps Persephone and Demeter had the right idea, after all. Canada's deep winter would make a chilly, snowy Chicago. Chicago's sweltering summer meant beautiful greenery and... 

Ray was moving in his slumber, close now to waking. Benny moved with him, gliding up to stare into his lover's sleeping face. It really was a preposterous nose. The arch of his brows was delicate and almost perfectly symmetrical. His long neck was pale and soft to kisses. There was a scar on his left shoulder, and then that patch of crinkly hair in the center of his chest. Broader shoulders than one expected, probably because Ray had a habit of rolling his shoulders in when he gestured. Olive skin set off those date-brown nipples, and then the flat stomach...Benny moved the covers out of the way...sharp hips, long, lean-muscled legs with shins that were barely bowed at all. Long toes, nice arches. 

Snickering at himself, he let his gaze travel upwards once again. Ray's penis at rest was beautiful and arousing and so naked and unprotected. Slowly, he crept upon it and placed the barest kiss right at its tip. 

A gasp and twitching muscles told Benny that Ray was awake. Those green eyes must be open and looking at him. 

He slid up the bed to capture dream-soft lips in a kiss. Pizza-flavored morning breath did little to mask the sweetness of his mouth, which he savored with delight until breathing announced its imperative. 

He raised his head reluctantly, but it was worth it to see Ray smile. There was a slight struggle in his eyes, then: 

"I love you, Benny." 

He felt his eyes go round and his mouth make what had to be a very silly smile. "I love you too, Ray." 

Ray nodded against the pillow and looked just slightly relieved, then grinned. "Kiss me one more time, then we better get going." 

Benny's eyes narrowed, though it was true that the day was getting along and they had a lot to do, including, possibly, being killed and/or having their careers ruined and/or seeing a good man publicly exposed for a crime his daughter may/may not have committed. 

All of which just made his present circumstances that much more valuable and himself that much less willing to give them up. He raised himself up slightly, watching with amusement as Ray frowned, denied his kiss, then allowed his lover a moment to realize he wasn't going anywhere. On all fours, he hovered and surveyed his choices. 

"Roll over, please, Ray." 

Ray, predictably, looked nervous, but Benny just smiled. 

"I haven't gotten to see you properly. I want to know what you look like all over." 

To his delight, Ray looked slightly embarrassed, then ready to argue, then just rolled over and let Benny look. 

"You have a beautiful back, Ray, so long and straight, with such broad shoulders and narrow hips." 

"Benny..." the protest was faint and pillow-muffled, but obviously sincere. Benny responded by lowering his mouth down until he could cover Ray's smooth back in dozens of butterfly kisses, each one meant to convey gentleness and appreciation. Fraser was happy to see Ray's body flush and begin to shake just slightly with the movement of his quick-beating heart. 

He buried his nose in the small of Ray's back and breathed him in. They could both use showers, no question, but there was a sensual indulgence in the mix of dried and fresh sweat that rocked him, and he covered that dip in Ray's body with the softest of kisses to steady himself. 

Next, a firm, tight, lightly furry backside with almost no fat to speak of. Pert, almost, and quite delectable. He wanted to nibble and lick, but continued with nothing more than butterfly brushings of his lips as his fingertips grazed the length of those legs, not tickling, not scratching, just barely touching, using the air stirred by his movements to aid in the caress. 

He raised himself back up, looking down at the palm-fitting curves, and thought just for a moment of what it would be like to be accepted there. He knew, if he asked, he would be, but as much as he wanted it, he didn't want it right now as much as he wanted Ray to turn around again and smile at him. 

Ray wordlessly granted his somewhat breathy request, revealing enormous and darkened eyes and a growing arousal. He let himself again consider his choices, then decided he would indulge himself completely. 

Gentle kisses on his right shoulder, gentler kisses on his left. The softest nuzzling in that swirl of hair gave him an idea, and next he was running his lips over and through the soft bristle hair on Ray's head. This got some nice gasping ging, as did the time he spent delicately licking at his ears. He was down again next, trailing his lips just over the faint hair on his stomach, then butterfly kisses again up and down those endless thighs, then again at his chest, and almost imperceptible sucking pressure over each nipple in turn, back and forth. 

Ray's breath was a wind storm, but Fraser was still surprised when those long, aristocratic hands gripped so tightly around the sheet. He raised himself up yet again, and stared down into eyes now wild and unfocused. A glance down revealed yet another surprise, as the proudly lifting cock was crowned with a glistening drop of precum. 

Why Fraser's gentle foreplay had become so much more to his partner was a mystery he would need solved in time, but for now he thought only to complete this, moving down to cover the swollen cockhead with little tiny kisses and dart his tongue gently into the slit, lapping up thick, bittersweet drops, before softly licking at the warm, tight sac. 

Ray arched up, needing just a bit more pressure. Benny complied in the gentlest way possible. 

"Benny! God!" 

And Ray came in Benny's mouth, spasming and shivering, then lying limply as the man moved up and covered him, seeking that sweet mouth. His kiss was returned with the gentleness he himself had shown, and his hands went to rear, pushing him in close. Before he could stop himself, Benny was thrusting down, and in only a few seconds, he spilled himself out between them. 

"Oh my! Ray...Oh, God..." 

Ray's voice shook and finally just became a whisper. "I swear, it's not even sex with you, Benny. It's something else all together." 

@@@ 

Canadian Ambassador to the UN Gerald Braun regarded his daughter Melissa as she stood looking out the large glass window of her hotel room. 

He hadn't meant to intrude, but the door between their rooms had been open, and he was used to this signal's meaning she was ready to go out. 

And she was ready, in terms of being dressed. She was transforming now from the fashion-victim inevitability of teenage girls these days to tentative forays into elegance and even a muted sense of personal style. He was long used to seeing boy's heads turn as they walked by. Now he was having to get used to the men looking as well, and not just the inappropriately older ones, either. 

By all rights, he should get to worry about his daughter's relationships with such men. It was downright unnatural to find himself wishing instead that she would accept a polite invitation to dance, or that she would take pleasure in small-talk, rather than clinging to his side. 

He used to try to get her to talk about it, but when everything had been gone over again and again and the details were simply a form of self-torture, he allowed her to lapse into silence, trying to provide what support he could with his presence, and with making sure she knew nothing of his own details. The stacks of cash, the envelopes, and his dealings with his own government in the matter never reached her, though he suspected somehow she simply knew about it anyway. She had always been an intuitive girl, and Before, he had trusted her instincts completely. 

Of course, he would trust them now again, if only she trusted them herself. 

He had no way of knowing if the choices he had made were correct. He had done only what he could, and then, finally, taken the required path, risking the ruin of their lives. 

But they had to go. Tonight was their last event in Chicago, and though it was sheer superstition he would breathe easier when they left this city. Perhaps in Atlanta he could get her to go for a drive or a walk, something other than being at his side as he shook hands or burying herself in medical textbooks. 

He walked to her now, staring with her out the window at the lake, rosy with sunset. 

"We won't have to stay long," he murmured. 

"We should, though. It's for AIDS." Her voice held her mother's music, and he seemed to hear in those controlled notes a plea from his wife to care for Melissa and protect her from the evil of the world she herself had left many years ago. He had prayed once or twice for forgiveness, but the dead offer no comfort. 

He nodded, and she turned from the window, composed and silent. They walked together to the front door, and when he opened it to find the security detail, it was already too late to avoid failing his daughter once again. 

@@@ 

"Park it over there, Mac. They're coming down now." 

"Got it." 

"Thank you kindly." 

The limousine swerved expertly to the curb and waited, the near-silent engine even quieter at idle. 

"How long we got?" Ray was fooling with the small device he'd purchased earlier that day, along with the wires running from it to the back of the limousine. He seemed satisfied, and tucked it out of sight under the seat. 

"I'd say another ten minutes before the next car arrives, Ray." 

"Okay, Benny." 

There were a few reporters at the entrance to the hotel, talking to each other. A security guy - unmistakable in his gray suit and little earphone \- had his back to them, watching over the front door. 

"You look really good in that outfit, Benny." 

"Thank you, Ray. It suits you as well." 

"Hm. Off the rack." 

The security guy turned, saw the limo, and beckoned, his hand pressing on the earphone. Ray got out and strolled over. 

"Yeah?" 

"You aren't the driver we had yesterday." The security guy's eyes were bored. 

"Man, we gotta go through all those codes again?" 

The guy shook his head, then went over the evening's itinerary. 

Inside the car, Fraser watched Ray nodding and looking around, for all the world a bored driver who'd rather be home watching the game. He looked around himself: the hotel, the street, the reporters, the Mountie in the backseat. 

"Dad!" 

"Hello, son." 

"What are you doing here?" 

"You know, son, by now I should think you'd start to get used to my showing up as a pleasant surprise." 

"By now you should know to knock or cough or something." 

Rob Fraser thought this over a minute, his brow furled underneath the winter Mountie hat on his head. Then his eyes cleared and he simply shook the issue off. He looked at his son a moment, then out the front window, then back again. 

"So. The Yank, hm?" 

"Yes, Dad." 

Bob Fraser grunted, looked back out the front, then frowned and looked at the hotel. "Canadian ambassadors giving in to extortionists. It's enough to make you doubt the value of diplomacy." 

"His daughter may have been set up." 

"All the more reason to fight for the right, son. Teach her a few home truths while he's at it." 

"By what? Seeing her in prison?" 

"What sort of talk is that for a Mountie? Laws have been broken!" 

"Yes, but just who is the victim here?" 

"The victim of what?" Ray settled back into his seat, letting his fingers settle to tap on the wheel. They had about four minutes left. 

"Are they coming down, Ray?" 

"Supposedly they're in the elevator. They got guests or something though." 

"Guests?" 

There was motion at the front door, then flashbulbs started popping and two gray suits opened the glass doors wide. Braun and his daughter were walking with two men and a woman. The woman was well-dressed and composed, and kept one of the two men with her between herself and the reporters. The two men were wearing black suits. One of them had a slightly bent nose, and the other one had a nose that turned slightly to the left. 

"Shit." 

Benny nodded, numb everywhere except that twist in his guts. 

They managed to get out of the car and hold open the passenger doors, their faces turned from the light and half-hidden under the caps, neither of them breathing. Braun, his daughter, Ms Socks and the thugs all passed them without seeing them, intent on the tension already taut within the group. Ray and Benny closed the doors on both sides of the limousine, met each other's eyes over the shiny black roof for a terrified second, then climbed into the front seats, keeping their heads staring straight ahead. 

Ray didn't have his gun. Both of them felt naked. 

He slid the car into drive and pulled away from the curb. 

"Raise the slide," Ms Socks commanded, and Fraser's hand shook just slightly as he obeyed. 

She waited until the slide was up completely before turning her gaze to Braun's daughter, and the man's arm tightened around her waist instinctively. 

He had never forgotten those dead, almost bored eyes. The men with her were strangers, but he wasn't certain he'd never seen them before. This had been a part of his life for so long, and there had been so many of Ms Socks' men that he found them almost invisible now. 

"Detective Vecchio has finished his debriefing." 

Braun kept his voice level. "Then my daughter and I will soon be arrested." 

"You're a fool, and you're destroying your daughter's life through your foolishness." 

"My daughter did nothing wrong but place too much trust in her boyfriend." He cleared his throat and played his last card. "Do you think I haven't figured out how you arranged to frame her for his death? Do you think that just because she was a little wild at sixteen I'd ever believe she would watch him die? Your people were careless in their arrangement of the scene. The bathroom floor was covered in glass shards from the broken mirror. There were none in my daughter's feet, nor in her clothes." 

"A fact kept well away from the detective on the case. As far as he's concerned, she's guilty, and he's got a good enough record as a detective to be believed completely when he takes the stand. Besides, your career will be over the moment she's charged, and as for any hope of her becoming a doctor..." 

She looked at the family in front of her. They weren't obeying. They feared her, but there was no obedience here. 

The limousine had no escort. She flipped the switch on the intercom. 

"Stop at the next corner, driver. We're picking someone up." 

"Yes, ma'am," the driver answered politely, the sound distorted by a slight crackle. 

"It doesn't matter whom you bring into this car," Braun said. "I'm not going to pay you people anything anymore." 

Ms Socks shrugged, then nodded at Jefferson, who opened the door even as the car slid to an expert stop. Charles Ober climbed smoothly inside, then settled himself beside Melissa Braun, who shrank from him. 

"You do remember Detective Ober, don't you, Mr. Braun?" 

Braun's eyes were dead, and Ms Socks allowed herself a moment of satisfaction. 

"Where is Mr. Wester?" 

Ober looked at her, then jerked a shrug. The whites of his eyes were showing all around the iris, and he was sweating. She wouldn't want to use him again after tonight. 

"Dead. Dying." 

"You're not sure?" 

"He was wheezing out his last. I shot him four times. I had to get here." 

Most unsatisfactory. "We will check on him afterwards." 

Another shrug. She dismissed him and turned back to Braun. 

"So you see, your connections with the Canadian government in this matter have been severed. It was a clever move to enlist their aid, but also a risk you must have known could mean your destruction. Detective Ober has seen to it that all evidence of his and Mr. Wester's undercover operation have been erased. There will be nothing but lost files and some further incriminating evidence should you attempt to protect yourself with claims of working for your own country's good." 

"There are several in the government who know I was paying you off only because I had been ordered to do so." 

For the first time, Melissa roused herself, turning to look at her father with wide eyes. He hugged her even more tightly to his side. 

Ms Socks shrugged. "You'd be surprised how few of them there were, and how little any of them will care for the idea of risking their reputations on the rumors of covert operations. Against whatever support they muster, I have photographs and receipts and enough video to keep the evening news happy for weeks." 

"How many of us do you control?" Braun's voice was bitter, but not resigned. His anger blistered each word. Ms Socks was beginning to think little more could be gained from him other than the opportunity to use him as an example. "How many of the so-called rich and powerful people of this world feature you in their nightmares?" 

The lake, she thought, would do. Braun, his daughter, the drivers, and Ober in one wet, fingerprint-free limousine. Everyone would get the message. 

Braun, meanwhile, was on a roll. "If you think for a moment anything you can say or do will ever force me to -" 

"Melissa might enjoy my men here." 

Jefferson caught Braun easily, and shoved him back into his seat. Ms Socks toyed with the idea of letting Jefferson use some of his hidden talents, but there was no point. Braun was useless now. 

They were getting near the AIDS thing. She could see two patrol cars near the door to the hotel. She flipped the intercom switch again. 

"We're taking a detour, driver. Turn right." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

So obedient. Everyone did their job in the end, took their paycheck home, and slept well enough. 

"Dad?" Melissa Brian's voice in the car was jarring in its little-girl sweetness. Everyone was looking at her. "I think you did everything right." 

Braun's eyes filled with tears, and he wrapped his arms around his daughter. 

Useless. 

Ms Socks jabbed at the intercom again. 

"Driver, I told you to turn right." 

There was no reply this time, and she reached for the switch to bring down the slide. 

It didn't budge. 

The limousine was still headed to the hotel, but it swerved suddenly to the right, knocking the outside mirror off a patrol car and scratching along its side with a *clunk" that threw everyone to the right before the car swerved back into the lane. Ms Socks righted herself, looking around in suspicion, and noticed that at the top of the slide, in the corner, a small black object had been wedged, marring the smooth line of the padded ceiling against the metal bar. She reached up to investigate, then almost sprawled out over Jefferson when the car swerved again. 

The inside of the car began to flash from the police lights outside, and the sound of sirens reached them. They were being pursued by the car they had hit. The limousine sped by the hotel, narrowly missing some reporters who walked into the street to take pictures of the excitement, and then turned the corner with a squeal of burning tires. Ms Socks looked back to see several cars pursuing them now. Where had they all come from? 

Even more patrol cars came out from a cross-street, blocking the way, but she had no time to register this before the long car was thrown into an impossible skidding turn, spinning almost completely around as it stopped. There was the sound of doors opening as the drivers ran out, and then the squeals of other cars skidding to a stop. 

"This is the police!" Someone had already gotten out a bullhorn. "Come out with your hands up!" 

Melissa Braun screamed and opened the door, scrambling over a dazed Ober and tugging her father behind her. Ms Socks reached for the black object pressed against the ceiling, and found herself holding a small microphone. 

It didn't matter. The drivers were cops, obviously, but it would still be their word against hers. When she got the right judge on the case, that lack of evidence would be enough to get her off. 

She climbed from the car unhurriedly, and watched as the police approached, weapons drawn. Jefferson, Addams, and Ober were disarmed, and they and she were handcuffed. Braun stood there with his daughter, looking dazed, but his eyes were focusing on something to their left. 

She turned to see the two limousine drivers coming towards them. A second before the streetlight hit their faces, she knew. 

She let herself smile. Vecchio and Fraser on the stand would sound convincing, but they had obvious reasons for wanting to lie. As witnesses against her, they were vulnerable, particularly with the homosexual angle. It was most satisfactory that she had made that so public an issue. 

And then Vecchio raised his hand, and she saw he was holding something, a little gray box with black and red buttons. 

She looked into his eyes, knowing he saw nothing, even when he threw her a wink and handed the tape recorder to his partner. 

In about three strides Ray was in Ober's face, his fists around Ober's jacket. 

"Where's Wester, you son-of-a-bitch?" 

Benny recognized many of the officers around them, so he wasn't too surprised when Lt. Welsh appeared, standing quietly behind Ray. Fraser saw Huey not far from them as well. Elaine must have told them everything, but it was still very clever of them to have known to stake out the hotel. 

Ober said nothing, and Ray threw him back against the car. 

"We got you on tape bragging about shooting him four times! You want the jury to feel you're anything better than scum that should die, you tell us where we can find him!" 

Ober sneered, but the logic made sense to Ms Socks. 

"He's at Mr. Fraser's apartment." 

Everyone looked at her as she continued, "If you search Mr. Ober, you will find Mr. Fraser's gun." 

@@@ 

Ray rested his forehead on the Formica table and felt two hundred years old. 

Wester was alive. He'd been wearing a vest, and though his ribs were cracked and he had a concussion from falling to the floor unconscious, he was going to be all right. Ray never thought before of allergic wheezing as a benefit, but maybe he'd have to try it sometime. 

Ms Socks' real name was Janet Widdley. She held an official position in Canadian Foreign Affairs Office. They were going to be tracking down the others in her "organization" for days, if not weeks. 

Ms Widdley was nothing if not practical. With the tape recordings and what she'd revealed about Wester and Ray and Benny's testimony, she knew she was as good as convicted, so her only hope lay in being as cooperative as possible. It wasn't that Ray didn't suspect her of holding back a great deal of information about just who really ran the show, but the information she was giving them was a road map of corruption through both the American and Canadian governments. There had been some stuff in there about Mexico, Brazil, the United Kingdom, and Spain as well. Ray couldn't remember all the details right now. His brain was mush. 

He and Benny had been separated to give their statements, and then Welsh had wanted it all over again while the Dragon Lady heard it all in detail from Fraser. Dinner had come from the vending machines, and the final verdict on their actions would come from someone far over Welsh's head. 

Until then, he was suspended from duty. It was after midnight and he was all alone. He should go home. 

He'd called his family, told them he was okay. Ma didn't want to come back up until after the weekend because they'd made plans. He almost forgot himself and asked her what day it was. Later, he'd found out from Welsh it was Thursday. 

Well, he didn't have his badge and he still didn't have a gun, but that bitch was behind bars and Braun and his daughter were safe, and...Oh, God. He pressed his forehead against the cold table hard enough to bruise, and brought his hands over his head, not wanting to think about possibilities. 

He'd never noticed before how quiet things were in this room. When he wasn't talking in here, he was listening. It was an odd sort of silence: unnatural, apathetic. The room stank of cold sweat. 

Or was that just him? 

"Ray?" 

His head shot up from the table, breaking out of his hands, which fell to the side like the broken shells of a cocoon. 

Benny was standing there in his brown uniform. He noticed Ray looking at it. 

"I changed at the Consulate." 

Had he? That made sense, Ray supposed. Benny was looking now at his own brown suit. 

"I keep a suit in my locker. Never know when I'm going to be crawling around in a sewer or something and need to get cleaned up." 

Benny smiled faintly. 

"My apartment is a crime scene." 

"My house is empty. We got lots of bedrooms." 

Benny closed off just slightly, even as he nodded. "Thank you kindly, Ray." 

They walked to the car, still in the spot where Ray had parked it just a few days ago. A flash of images, shaking hands, meat cleavers, thinking any second he was going to throw up, made him fumble before he got the passenger door unlocked, but Benny didn't say anything. He walked around the car, got behind the wheel, started the motor and revved until he got that powerful purr, then drove home. 

They said nothing, Ray's careful driving for once not even giving Benny a chance to comment on missed stop signs and neglected turn signals. He wanted to say something about picking up Diefenbaker in the morning, but couldn't get past the fact that Ray would simply agree to drive him. Whatever else was going to happen, they were still friends. There had to be that much left between them. 

He understood what loneliness did to people, and fear, and guilt, and shame. If Ray didn't want him *that* way anymore, he would have to find a way to deal with it quietly. He knew himself well enough to know that he was going to need to see as much as possible of Ray in the next few weeks, that being with him, whatever they were doing, was going to mean everything to him. If Ray didn't want to touch him, then he would have to live off words and looks, and if those words were all about the cases they worked on, or what woman Ray was trying to get to go out with him, then he would have to bear it without accusation. He could do nothing to push Ray out of his life. 

If only his hands would stop shaking. 

They'd started to tremble when he'd heard "Ms Socks"' voice over the intercom, that soulless monotone as she set about manipulating and destroying more people's lives. It had continued during the arrests, and during his double debriefing. 

It had continued when he had met Meg Thatcher's eyes in a way he'd never done before, without fear, without suggestion, as he gave his report. It had continued when he took a taxi back to the station long after Ray should have been back at his house, because he couldn't bear the idea of calling the 27th to be told Ray wasn't there. And now, safe in the Riv with familiar smells and the heater going, he had his hands tucked around crossed arms and couldn't quite catch his breath. 

Ray pulled up the driveway and killed the engine. They got out and walked inside. The house smelled a little musty and the milk in the refrigerator had gone sour. 

"You hungry, Benny?" 

He looked at his friend, trying to see clearly through his fear. Ray's eyes were huge and miserable, quite unlike a man who had just busted open an international government blackmail ring. 

Ray had brought him home. Perhaps he simply needed do the rest. 

"May I take off your clothes, Ray?" 

"Do you want to, Benny?" 

"More than anything, Ray." 

The tall, ever-moving body sagged in on itself, and the pain-filled eyes closed in relief. "Thank God." 

Fraser grabbed him up into a tight embrace and held him over his own healing heart. 

"God, Benny, I ain't been so scared since..." Ray laughed weakly. "...about six hours ago." 

"Ray, do you think you can feel that for me again, just while living our normal lives?" 

"What's a normal life around you, Benny?" 

Fraser pulled back, his eyes serious, earnest. "But without the drama of...without thinking that..." 

"...that we might die any second? Benny, I never needed any of that. We didn't come together because of her, Fraser. We came together despite her, and if we're doing this for keeps we gotta remember that." 

Benny felt light-headed. "For keeps, Ray?" 

"I told you I can't ask you to marry me." 

"I told you I didn't ask for it. Your word's always been more than enough for me, Ray." 

"You giving me your word, Fraser?" 

"You have everything that's mine, Ray." 

He bit his lip, looking into Benny's eyes, then his own twinkled just slightly. "You can keep Dief." 

"Well, he's not mine to give, Ray. However, I believe you should know by now that he's adopted you." 

"I wonder if Ma will take him in lieu of grandchildren." 

Dark blue eyes frowned. "Ray, about your family..." 

Vecchio threw up his hands, and somehow the fact that they were shaking made Fraser feel the first hint of calm he'd known since he and Ray had gotten reluctantly out of bed late that morning. 

"Benny, my family...we're gonna have to figure out what to do there, but for now, this is just...I don't wanna make any announcements until we're a little easier about it ourselves, okay?" 

"Certainly, though, as you know, you are already listed as my next of kin, Ray. I feel it would also be prudent to draw up other legal documents to..." 

"...make things more official?" 

Benny nodded. 

"Well, I can't leave you the house. You want the Riv?" 

"I want you, Ray." 

"I thought you were going to take off my clothes." 

Benny stepped forward instantly and began to undo the buttons of his dark blue silk shirt. Ray reached for those Mountie-issue buttons on the brown jacket, and soon it became a race, a race Ray won once again by sliding Benny's pants and underwear down together. 

Benny smiled, then slid off Ray's black briefs. Neither of them was aroused. The day had been too long. Ray bent down to his jacket and found his supplies, then straightened with a leer. 

"Let's take a shower together and make a lot of noise. God knows when the whole mob's going to be away again. 'Bout time I got to use my own house properly." 

Benny followed him upstairs, purposefully going behind him to admire the view. Ray threw a somewhat flushed look over his shoulder, but said nothing. 

In the bathroom, Ray got the water ready, then pulled Benny in with him, and for several quiet, long and sweet moments they stood under the spray and in one another's arms. 

"I need to be able to rely on you, Benny." 

"Don't you, Ray?" There was just a note of hurt there. 

"I don't care how frightened or guilty or trapped you feel ever again, you can't run from me, all right?" 

"I promise, Ray." 

"And?" 

"And what?" 

"What do you need me to promise, Benny?" 

There wasn't enough hair on Ray's head for Benny to hide his smile in it. "You giving me a blank cheque, Ray?" 

"Yes." 

Fraser shivered. 

"Well?" 

"Well, we're going to be doing things...I'm going to be doing things, feeling things I've never let myself feel before. I don't know if you can promise this, but I need you to...accept what love does to me, Ray." 

Ray shuddered, looked into his eyes, letting him see everything. "I promise, Benny." 

They moved apart after that, soaping up several times, washing off so much dirt and stink and sweat the bar of Ivory lost half its size. 

Benny started laughing during the last soap-up. 

"What's so funny?" 

"I was thinking about you in the garbage bin, screaming because of the parasites, and then in here, with your whole family running through the room." 

"You can laugh it up. You got no idea what's like. No privacy, no respect for a guy's space -" 

"Will you miss them very much, when you're living with me?" 

"Nah." 

"Are you sure?" Benny's eyes were clouded with worry. 

"I didn't miss them when I was living with Ange." 

"Oh." Benny brightened. "All right then." 

Ray laughed. "You're a nut, you know that?" He leaned in for a kiss, got soap in his eye, and spent the next three minutes flushing it out while Benny made helpful suggestions. 

The water was going a little cold when he turned off the tap. They dried themselves and each off thoroughly with their towels, then trotted downstairs naked to raid the 'fridge. They had to settle for omelets, after scraping a little mold off the cheese and pouring the milk they didn't use down the drain. They even managed to locate some frozen orange juice and some pop-n-fresh crescent rolls. They barely took their eyes from each other the whole time. 

They ate quickly, left the dishes for later, and went to Ray's room. Fraser walked to the bed, then turned with an inquiring look to his lover. 

"Would you just get in the bed, Benny? I wanna see you in it." 

With a smile that got Ray's toes curling, Benny sprawled out on the bed, rolling over on his back, spreading his legs before lifting up his left knee and propping himself up on one elbow. While Ray's eyes bulged gratifyingly, the man ran a hand down his pale chest, toyed with a pink nipple, then, slowly, gently, eased his hand down to the half-erect length below, running his palm along the side, coaxing further development. 

"Benny..." Ray strangled out. God. That pose was out of some sort of skin mag. And Benny knew it. "I thought...I thought you were so innocent, Benny." 

"Do you want to watch me, Ray?" 

Ray looked ready to pass out. "I want everything from you, Benny. But right now, I wanna know what you feel like." 

Benny considered that if both of them passed out, no one would find them, perhaps for days. Would he still be hard? Ma Vecchio wouldn't care for that one. 

He scooted back in the bed and felt Ray's heat a moment before that dry skin was pressed against him. What was it about this sensation that made him moan so loudly? 

"You're fire, Ray." 

"Fire?" Ray looked puzzled, then broke out in a smile Benny had first seen when Ray had discovered his lottery ticket was worth $25,000. "You're something, you know that, Fraser?" 

Benny smiled and ran a thumb over his cockhead, shivering. Ray growled and lunged onto the bed, throwing the supplies to the side, then bending his head to kiss a path that followed the touch of that thumb. Benny lost control of his arms and sprawled back completely now, spreading his legs, opening himself up, until the madness ebbed slightly. 

"Stop, Ray...please." 

"Don't you like it, Benny?" The sensations on his cock ceased, and sanity won out more completely. 

"Of course, but I want to come inside you, Ray." 

His lover went absolutely still. 

"Ray?" He sat up in alarm, seeking green eyes. "Don't you want that? I thought -" 

"Yeah, I want it, Benny. I just...I just can't stand it when you say things like that." 

Fraser looked him over. Ray's eyes were large, and his thin body was shaking, his skin was flushed, and he was overtly aroused. Feeling those eyes on him, he reached down and stroked himself again. 

"You have a truly beautiful posterior, Ray. I've thought all day about being inside it." 

"Benny!" 

"Yes, Ray?" 

"That's...no way for a Mountie to talk." 

Benny felt himself laughing. "No, it's 'Mounter' talk, Ray." 

Ray groaned. "You're not getting into my pants with a mouth like that, Benny. What *is* it with you and pillow talk, anyways?" 

"You're quite right, Ray, we don't have to talk at all." He reached out and drew a willing mouth to his own, plundering even as his mouth was explored possessively. He pressed back and ended up draped over Ray. When his lips sought that long neck, his name rasped out in the dim lamp-light of the room like a prayer. 

"It feels so good to touch you," Benny mumbled against that hot skin. "So good to make love to you and know you're safe." His hands reached down and around and kneaded those tight little cheeks. "So good to be here with you in your bed. It's...an incredibly comfortable bed, Ray." A fingertip slid down that fine cleft, and Ray groaned, moving against his touch. "You're so beautiful, Ray. I can't believe how much I want you. I can't believe I get to touch you." 

Ray's eyes met his, staring wildly, then he simply rolled over and spread himself out on the bed. Benny was instantly kissing and licking and nibbling at the smooth flesh, rubbing his face against the furry skin, breathing in Ray's sweet smell. His fingers parted him, adding in musk and revealing the puckered circle that seemed woefully small and too tight to accept him. He placed a soft, remorseful kiss on the rim. 

Ray screamed. 

"Ray?" Benny began to reach for his shoulders in alarm, but Ray shuddered and pressed his hips down against the mattress. 

"Benny, do that again. Please. God. If you can. Do it again." 

It was just as well that Ray couldn't see the smug expression on Benny's face as he bent down to his task. He kissed again, then licked, while Ray screamed into a pillow and writhed over the sheets. When he began probing with his tongue, Ray was almost sobbing. He was also relaxing. 

He also sounded dangerously close to orgasm. Benny grabbed the pillow that wasn't half-stuffed into Ray's mouth, raised up Ray's hips and settled the pillow beneath them while Ray gasped and shivered. Then he reached for a condom, smoothing the cool sheath down over himself as an aid to regaining his control. 

Ray said nothing as he used gentle fingers to prepare him, nothing as he pushed the pillow out of the way and rolled Ray over onto his side. And Fraser found that he needed permission. It wasn't just enough to take. He needed to have this given to him. It was appallingly selfish. 

"Ray? Are you all right?" 

Ray half-laughed. "I guess." 

"Don't you want this?" 

"More than anything, Benny. And I want to do it to you again." 

"Yes, please, Ray." 

"And I want to do that tongue thing to you, and I want to suck you and lick you and rub every part of your sweaty, hairy, muscular manly body over every part of mine." 

"Is that...so bad, Ray?" 

"Sounds like heaven, Benny. But I'm not the person I thought I was." 

"No. You're someone who loves me." 

Ray sighed and turned around as much as he could, finding Benny's lips with his own. "Yeah. I'm glad about that, Benny. So glad, you don't know." Then he turned around again, grabbing the pillow. "Benny? Make me scream again." 

"Y-yes, Ray." He used his hand to guide himself, then had to apply more force than he liked to slide inside, and then..."Oh! Fire, Ray. You're fire!" He slid all the way inside, burned, branded. 

"Benny!" 

The rocking motion set an instant, inevitable rhythm. Ray groaned and moved with him, began shouting his name, then screamed again, louder than ever, when Benny's hand found him. 

Fraser closed his eyes and did nothing but feel the constricting flame of Ray's body, listen to his screams, taste the lingering sweetness of his sweat off his shoulders and neck, breathe in the salt and sugar of him. He pushed away the uncertain future and the thousand obstacles of possible prejudice and incompatibility. He would love Ray for the rest of his life, based just on being here right now, based on the pleading desire of those screams, based on the hand that found his beneath their bodies and held on tight. 

Ray's body stiffened, held, spasmed, erupted, demanding Benny's willing surrender, and with relief he gave all that he was to the one person in the world who wanted everything he had to offer. 

**THE END**


End file.
